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Bitch In Heat

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I reckon my Collie has a bit of springer in her judging by the 'spotty' bits on her and shorter than normal hair.

 

now THATS a dog !!!!

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One of ours is rehomd and we're not sure what he is - best guess is a Rotty x GSD :o

 

 

What's the latest Robbo - hows the pant washing sh*te smeering fest going

 

:laughmad:

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Now if it was a boy dachshund and a burd dachshund, the solution is simple.

Put the b!tch up stairs and him downstairs.

A dachshund with a boner just canna climb the stairs.

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I ken it's been a pretty harrowing experience for you :o but I wouldn't let this put you off for life.

 

Dogs are not hard work at all so long as they know who is boss and have basic ground rules that are applied consistently.There is loads of good advice on the web for dog training which is worth checking out before you get one.

 

And dinna go for a huge dog for your first dog either. As B'stard says, something like a Collie is ideal. Big enough not to get under your feet and smart enough to quickly learn where is an okay place to piss and sh*t.

 

We got our Collie (aged 4 months) from the SSPCA and she's never pissed or shat in the house once.

 

 

Not unlike the wife... :laughing:

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What's the latest Robbo - hows the pant washing sh*te smeering fest going

 

:laughmad:

 

 

the only thing that stops him trying desperately to get his end away is realising im eating something. Then his sexual appetite is replaced with a hunger one. I have to sit in an office chair because they can easily get at me on the sofa. On the office chair, im higher and its too narrow for them to take any risks trying to jump up. So instead they stand up on their back legs (can actually walk on 2 legs for a good 40 secs), front paws on my knees and they whimper.

 

I take ahold of their paws and put them back on the ground, they hop back up. I put them down, they hop up. This cycle continues till i threaten to belt the next one that does it. Then snoop just sits upright staring at me and occasionally growling.

 

Roll on monday!

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Now if it was a boy dachshund and a burd dachshund, the solution is simple.

Put the b!tch up stairs and him downstairs.

A dachshund with a boner just canna climb the stairs.

 

Aye, Tommy loon, or to pit it anither wye, fae the archives....

 

I canna mind fit I've telt ye and fit I hinna, but this ane's that good that it deserves an airin onywye.

 

Ae day, it wis quiet in morrice the butcher's shoppie. It wis warm weather and oot o the soup season, so nae call for bilin beef or ham shank.

 

Sassidges were sellin slowly as weel, fowk jist couldna be bathered cookin, and the ice cream shoppie wis deein far better trade nor morrice the butcher.

 

Then, into the shop came a wifie wi a dachshund, ye ken, a sassidge dog. morrice the butcher's brither wis affa fond o dogs, and he came throu fae the back shoppie tae gie the doggie a clap and its belly a tickle.

 

He wis newsin awa tae the wifie aboot dogs when she let it slip that she also owned a corgi.

 

"And div they get on weel thegither?" speired wir humpy backit pal.

 

"Oh, aye" says the wifie, until the corgi goes into heat, then I cann keep this randy wee bugger fae aff the tap o her."

 

"A difficult problem tae hae," sympathised morrice the butcher's brither.

 

"Ye're nae wrang there, morrice the butcher's brither, min," responded the dog owner, stuffin the parcel o mealy jimmies in her shoppin bag, "And I didna wint ony puppies, so I tried a'thing. I locked him in the shed wi the corgi in the hoose, but he howled the place doon and I got complaints fae my neighbours. Syne I locked him in the lobby, wi the corgi in the scullery, but as soon as the door wis open, the wee bugger wis through attemptin to get his wye wi her. I'll tell ye this, morrice the butcher's brither, I wis gey near the end o my tether."

 

"And hiv ye sorted it oot?" said morrice the butcher's brither, "For, dog lover as I am, I widda jist his him along tae the vet and hid his bas aff. That wid have pit a stop til't".

 

"I ken fit ye mean, but I saw that as a last resort. But things got that bad that I made the appointment onywye. So I took him alang tae the vet and went into the surgery. I telt the vet the circumstances and nature o my dilemma, and he listened wi a sympathetic ear. the wee sassidge dog, howivver, lookit that doon in the moo aboot fit he wis to undergo that I took pity on him and cancelled the operation."

 

" Iwis still worried aboot unwanted pups though, and speired at the vet if there wis onything else that could be deen, short o libbin the peer cratur."

 

"Och aye," says the vet, "I think there is. Div ye hae stairs in yer hoose?"

 

"Aye, I have that," I telt him. "I used tae hae a low doorie in Abbey Place, but I flitted ower tae a maisonette in Mansfield Road three years ago, wi twa bedrooms up the stair. Dis that mak a difference like?"

 

"Oh michty aye," replied the dog doctor, "Next time yer corgi comes into season, pit her up the stair, and leave this horny wee bugger doon the stair".

 

"And fit difference will that mak? Will that work, and if so, how?" the wifie asked.

 

"Weel," says the vet, "have ye ivver seen a dachshund tryin to climb up stairs wi a hard on?"

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Of course, this could all have an upside if there's a tepee village along the road:

 

A young Indian brave approached the wise man of the village and said

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Awrite Blin min - your absence was noted in munich.

Food yer doos ?

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wooooooooooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

they are gone!!!!

 

they came to get them about 20 mins ago. said sorry multiple times but im not caring, they are out of here and i can have my life back.

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wooooooooooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

they are gone!!!! TILL THE NEXT VACATION!!

 

they came to get them about 20 mins ago. said sorry multiple times but im not caring, they are out of here and i can have my life back.

 

 

 

LIES LIES LIES!

We all know you'll miss them, so much so a trip to the pound in the shortly by Robbo& co. If you don't see anything you'd like, I'm sure we'd all chip in and buy a mutt for you for entertainment purposes! :laughing:

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wooooooooooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

they are gone!!!! TILL THE NEXT VACATION!!

 

they came to get them about 20 mins ago. said sorry multiple times but im not caring, they are out of here and i can have my life back.

 

LIES LIES LIES!

We all know you'll miss them, so much so a trip to the pound in the shortly by Robbo& co. If you don't see anything you'd like, I'm sure we'd all chip in and buy a mutt for you for entertainment purposes! :laughing:

 

HELL NO. I shall not be stepping anywhere near a dog pound for a very very long time. They came round, Kanina was bouncing allover the shop delighted they were back, snoop couldnt care less as he was still tryin to mount her.

Mate picked up kanina and snoop just sat at his feet growling, eyes locked on kanina. Didnt care he hadnt seen the man who had owned him since he was born for the last 10 days, he wanted his sex toy back.

 

His mrs picks up snoop to take them to the car and he starts trying to bite her to get back down. Im absolutely glad thats over with. That dog came very close to getting put through the wall.

 

Co-incidentally, cant remember who said it, but the advice of pinning him down was a mixed blessing. Yes it showed him who was boss, but that led to the problem of getting off him without losing a limb.

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HELL NO. I shall not be stepping anywhere near a dog pound for a very very long time. They came round, Kanina was bouncing allover the shop delighted they were back, snoop couldnt care less as he was still tryin to mount her.

Mate picked up kanina and snoop just sat at his feet growling, eyes locked on kanina. Didnt care he hadnt seen the man who had owned him since he was born for the last 10 days, he wanted his sex toy back.

 

His mrs picks up snoop to take them to the car and he starts trying to bite her to get back down. Im absolutely glad thats over with. That dog came very close to getting put through the wall.

 

Co-incidentally, cant remember who said it, but the advice of pinning him down was a mixed blessing. Yes it showed him who was boss, but that led to the problem of getting off him without losing a limb.

 

:laughing: u might not miss them m8, all on here certainly will. :crossfingers::crossfingers:

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thread goes on 1 day longer.

 

got a call earlier from my mate sayin he wants to ask a favour...him and his other half are going out tonight so could i watch the dogs again.

 

i didnt know what to say. how are you meant to nicely say frigg OFF, JUST frigg OFF WITH THAT IDEA!!!!

 

silence for a few seconds bar some ummms and errrrrms from me. then hillarity erupts from his end. Theyve gone round someone elses house, theyve put me on speaker phone and thought itd be funny to stitch me up like that as an april fool.

 

I just said its still too early to be joking about this. Gimme a few weeks and ill laugh but they werent caring, they were all creasin themselves.

 

*******ds.

 

i should have known.

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thread goes on 1 day longer.

 

got a call earlier from my mate sayin he wants to ask a favour...him and his other half are going out tonight so could i watch the dogs again.

 

i didnt know what to say. how are you meant to nicely say frigg OFF, JUST frigg OFF WITH THAT IDEA!!!!

 

silence for a few seconds bar some ummms and errrrrms from me. then hillarity erupts from his end. Theyve gone round someone elses house, theyve put me on speaker phone and thought itd be funny to stitch me up like that as an april fool.

 

I just said its still too early to be joking about this. Gimme a few weeks and ill laugh but they werent caring, they were all creasin themselves.

 

*******ds.

 

i should have known.

 

MATE- are you sure Robbo? :ThumbsDown:

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Wales, even the dogs are inbreeding :ThumbsDown:

Fit hiv ye got against Wales like?

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Ive got a dog, im no trainer or expert, but there are some things to try.

 

Little dogs like this are a problem because they do not respond to being disciplined. If you give them a smack you are likely to make them scared of you, or even break their spirit (shakey dog syndrome). I always found with little dogs like terriers that they are also a bit thick compared to bigger breeds, so take a longer period of time to reinforce the training.

 

Probably the dogs are upset because they have been left by their master while they are off having fun. you need to take the role of alpha dog cos at the moment this is a battle between you and the og, over the bitch.

 

Dogs are spiteful, they will make a mess to get revenge on their keeper for an unpopular move, like denying them the bed at night. This is a power struggle going on, the dogs see themselves as equals to you.

 

Dont let them copulate, this should be your privilage as alpha dog, if the dog is allowed to mount the bitch, then you are giving permission for the dog to challenge you as alpha. Dont let it happen, keep them apart when your not there. Try the tin can full of stones, give it a shake whenever the dog mounts the bitch. Keep at it until he learns that he cannot do it.

 

Try not letting them up on sofas and beds without invite. And only one at a time, whichever is the leader. Probaly one gets more attention at home, the Alpha male probably, so try inviting him on the sofa and not the other. If they both try to come up, then put the lesser dog down. They need to reinforce this pecking order, and when both dogs get treated equally it will upset them. Better to encourage an alpha dog than subdue this natural action.

 

As for the mounting, you really need to put the bitch in a cage, or both preferably. This would help with the sh*tting, dogs are less likely to sh*t in their own cage when they cant get away from it.

 

So keep them off the sofas and beds and learn them that the floor is their place unless the alpha dog (you) invites them to come up. Re-teach them house manners (they dont see your house as theirs), when they make a mess dont make a fuss, as this is what they want. they like you shouting at them as it is attention. Quietly clean it up and put the dogs outside, dont make a ritual out of it.

 

I had some problems getting my dog to stop peeing when I greeted him, but it was my fault a I made too much fuss over him, now I just ignore him until he calms down and problem solved.

 

Aslo take them out for about a mile walk late at night before bed and they will be more settled during the night.

 

hope this helps.

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Ive got a dog, im no trainer or expert, but there are some things to try.

 

Little dogs like this are a problem because they do not respond to being disciplined. If you give them a smack you are likely to make them scared of you, or even break their spirit (shakey dog syndrome). I always found with little dogs like terriers that they are also a bit thick compared to bigger breeds, so take a longer period of time to reinforce the training.

 

Probably the dogs are upset because they have been left by their master while they are off having fun. you need to take the role of alpha dog cos at the moment this is a battle between you and the og, over the bitch.

 

Dogs are spiteful, they will make a mess to get revenge on their keeper for an unpopular move, like denying them the bed at night. This is a power struggle going on, the dogs see themselves as equals to you.

 

Dont let them copulate, this should be your privilage as alpha dog, if the dog is allowed to mount the bitch, then you are giving permission for the dog to challenge you as alpha. Dont let it happen, keep them apart when your not there. Try the tin can full of stones, give it a shake whenever the dog mounts the bitch. Keep at it until he learns that he cannot do it.

 

Try not letting them up on sofas and beds without invite. And only one at a time, whichever is the leader. Probaly one gets more attention at home, the Alpha male probably, so try inviting him on the sofa and not the other. If they both try to come up, then put the lesser dog down. They need to reinforce this pecking order, and when both dogs get treated equally it will upset them. Better to encourage an alpha dog than subdue this natural action.

 

As for the mounting, you really need to put the bitch in a cage, or both preferably. This would help with the sh*tting, dogs are less likely to sh*t in their own cage when they cant get away from it.

 

So keep them off the sofas and beds and learn them that the floor is their place unless the alpha dog (you) invites them to come up. Re-teach them house manners (they dont see your house as theirs), when they make a mess dont make a fuss, as this is what they want. they like you shouting at them as it is attention. Quietly clean it up and put the dogs outside, dont make a ritual out of it.

 

I had some problems getting my dog to stop peeing when I greeted him, but it was my fault a I made too much fuss over him, now I just ignore him until he calms down and problem solved.

 

Aslo take them out for about a mile walk late at night before bed and they will be more settled during the night.

 

hope this helps.

 

Or just ship the ill behaved fur balls back to there owner.....and never let them cross your front door again

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you got to get the upper hand with dogs from the start.

 

Poorly trained and ill behaved dogs are a menace. Peole should have to sit a test like driving to own a dog. like your CBT for driving a motorbike.

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Robbo

any chance we can get a dog for you - a total nut of a thing so we can hear your experiences regulary

 

lol lol

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youd quickly get bored b'stard. every night id be on here moaning, itd be longer than the "lets all laugh at hearts" thread!

 

then one day youd read in the paper that a guy in cardiff has lost his rag and gone on a shooting spree shouting something about this frigging dog he has.

 

Douchebag, both love you and hate you right now.

The information is brilliant. ive taken it all in and will probably always remember reading this....however, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN THE LAST 2 WEEKS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

Incase you hadnt read the previous 5 pages, heres my tree here --->ROBBOS TREE

 

 

 

 

 

Heres me------> ROBBO

 

 

Notice the 2 are very much not together. These muts pushed me to the edge of sanity, then 48 hours after i get rid of them, you come on here with an idiots guide to staying sane. Huge sigh......cheers anyway bud. Was interesting reading at least and i can see where i went wrong.

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Robbo

I think you secretly enjoyed the whole ordeal in a sicko kind of way

 

the funny thing was the way you were describing them - was like they were big loutish dogs then when you sent the picture I was like frigg me it's only rats !!!

 

funny funny :thumbup1:

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Guest glasgowdon
Ive got a dog, im no trainer or expert, but there are some things to try.

 

Little dogs like this are a problem because they do not respond to being disciplined. If you give them a smack you are likely to make them scared of you, or even break their spirit (shakey dog syndrome). I always found with little dogs like terriers that they are also a bit thick compared to bigger breeds, so take a longer period of time to reinforce the training.

 

Probably the dogs are upset because they have been left by their master while they are off having fun. you need to take the role of alpha dog cos at the moment this is a battle between you and the og, over the bitch.

 

Dogs are spiteful, they will make a mess to get revenge on their keeper for an unpopular move, like denying them the bed at night. This is a power struggle going on, the dogs see themselves as equals to you.

 

Dont let them copulate, this should be your privilage as alpha dog, if the dog is allowed to mount the bitch, then you are giving permission for the dog to challenge you as alpha. Dont let it happen, keep them apart when your not there. Try the tin can full of stones, give it a shake whenever the dog mounts the bitch. Keep at it until he learns that he cannot do it.

 

Try not letting them up on sofas and beds without invite. And only one at a time, whichever is the leader. Probaly one gets more attention at home, the Alpha male probably, so try inviting him on the sofa and not the other. If they both try to come up, then put the lesser dog down. They need to reinforce this pecking order, and when both dogs get treated equally it will upset them. Better to encourage an alpha dog than subdue this natural action.

 

As for the mounting, you really need to put the bitch in a cage, or both preferably. This would help with the sh*tting, dogs are less likely to sh*t in their own cage when they cant get away from it.

 

So keep them off the sofas and beds and learn them that the floor is their place unless the alpha dog (you) invites them to come up. Re-teach them house manners (they dont see your house as theirs), when they make a mess dont make a fuss, as this is what they want. they like you shouting at them as it is attention. Quietly clean it up and put the dogs outside, dont make a ritual out of it.

 

I had some problems getting my dog to stop peeing when I greeted him, but it was my fault a I made too much fuss over him, now I just ignore him until he calms down and problem solved.

 

Aslo take them out for about a mile walk late at night before bed and they will be more settled during the night.

 

hope this helps.

 

 

2610167259a2610258567b357440951l.jpg

 

?

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