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StandFree1982

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On 4/9/2021 at 1:38 PM, Poodler said:

Horse birds = psychos 

Agreed.

Used to go out with a girl who had a horse and at first I thought it would be all tight jodhpurs and frolics like a Gilly Cooper novel.

Reality was she spent pretty much every spare moment at the stables mucking out, her jodhpurs stank of wet horse and shit and she spent a small fortune of vet bills.

Cracking ride when she was on top like but that was not enough to save the relationship and we soon split up.

Incidentally she is still single and still into her horses and will probably die old and alone.

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On 4/9/2021 at 8:38 AM, Poodler said:

Horse birds = psychos 

Cleverest bird I ever went out with was a horsey sort... kept them out Hazelhead way. 

Was a very brief relationship, and I got practically no action... I think she realised her mistake early on and was just looking for a way to end it, to be fair to her. 

I reckon she had a good hundred IQ points on me... I was like her little monkey. 

My subsequent bird was thicker than shit. 

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26 minutes ago, Poodler said:

I wonder if they ever look twice at that massive throbbed the horses have 

They've no option... one of the things they do to keep the horse clean is shove a finger up its japs eye. 

Come to think of it... her horse was getting more action than I was. 

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1 hour ago, manboobs109 said:

https://www.horseandhound.co.uk/features/cleaning-sheaths-the-bean-queen-665653

"The ‘bean’ is the common name for a collection of smegma in the tip of the horse’s penis"

No beans on toast for me today

Jesus. I was wondering what she does with the collection of ' beans' ..., is there any nutritional value for humans for example or can you sell them as Chinese medicine.., then 'bang' there's a photo of one in that article. 

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A bird on my instagram just posted the Starbucks Audi wheel combo and it says ‘... iPhone 6’ on her car screen. Next picture ‘just so you all know I don’t have an iPhone 6, dunno why it says that !!!!’ 

Liked perving on her but she has to go. Complete fool. Imagine being that self absorbed to think anyone cares what phone you have 

 

sent from my iPhone 11 Pro 256gb 

  • Haha 2
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1 minute ago, Poodler said:

A bird on my instagram just posted the Starbucks Audi wheel combo and it says ‘... iPhone 6’ on her car screen. Next picture ‘just so you all know I don’t have an iPhone 6, dunno why it says that !!!!’ 

Liked perving on her but she has to go. Complete fool. Imagine being that self absorbed to think anyone cares what phone you have 

 

sent from my iPhone 11 Pro 256gb 

Pics?

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9 minutes ago, Poodler said:

A bird on my instagram just posted the Starbucks Audi wheel combo and it says ‘... iPhone 6’ on her car screen. Next picture ‘just so you all know I don’t have an iPhone 6, dunno why it says that !!!!’ 

Liked perving on her but she has to go. Complete fool. Imagine being that self absorbed to think anyone cares what phone you have 

 

sent from my iPhone 11 Pro 256gb 

Folk that queue outside the Apple store overnight to get the new iPhone first. Wtf is the point, for a slightly better camera or some shit.

sent from my Nokia not had to be recharged since 2005.

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6 hours ago, YorkDon said:

Her 110 is only average tho.

Ye cheeky monkey ?

In all honesty she was very, very clever... and it's a shite feeling when you're going out with someone who's operating on a level your little squirrel brain clearly isn't compatible with. 

I think it was a conscious decision to find the dumbest cunt I could right after that. Enormous tits and the mind of a small forest creature. 

 

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42 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

Ye cheeky monkey ?

In all honesty she was very, very clever... and it's a shite feeling when you're going out with someone who's operating on a level your little squirrel brain clearly isn't compatible with. 

I think it was a conscious decision to find the dumbest cunt I could right after that. Enormous tits and the mind of a small forest creature. 

 

Was an open goal Kelt.

Sometimes enormous tits and the mind of a small forest creature is precisely what you need.

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2 hours ago, Poodler said:

A bird on my instagram just posted the Starbucks Audi wheel combo and it says ‘... iPhone 6’ on her car screen. Next picture ‘just so you all know I don’t have an iPhone 6, dunno why it says that !!!!’ 

Liked perving on her but she has to go. Complete fool. Imagine being that self absorbed to think anyone cares what phone you have 

 

sent from my iPhone 11 Pro 256gb 

It's too bad women aren't like kittens, and you could just sink them in a pond, inside a bag filled with rocks. 

Legally, I mean. 

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Just now, rocket_scientist said:

I love the game. No surprise you don't get it. We've seen into your eyes. 

stop paraphrasing him. think for yourself

 

tbh I’m not bothered about golf, just makin a joke.  no problem with golfers, just couldn’t finish a whole one

 

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