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Ever Pissed/Shit Yourself As A Grown Man/woman.

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dayts, that is pwopa nawty shoutin abuse from behind a line of riot police.

 

You should know by now bluto, I'm nails. :angry2:

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Once woke up and the bed was swimming.................i was like awwwwww FFS Then i whipped the duvet back to find an empty can of coke! (Although i think it would have been much easier to clean up if it was piss)

 

Pissed behind the bedroom door once.

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Eh ken a boy (and no it wasnae me) who got up fae bed eftir a night oot, couldnae find the bog, opened a drawer and pished all ower his wife's collection of bras and knickers.

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A mate of mine fell into the dilemma of having of a sh*te in the bogs but discovering there was no bog roll. He used his white boxers instead. Another mate pulled up in his car later on and wedgied him, discovering that he had sh*t all over his once white under-garments. :laughing:

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Can't believe the amount of minks who have pished themselves.

 

Welcome me to the group guys. :thumbup1:

 

I pished myself when my ex was in the bed, no recollection of the night at all and woke up in the morning on the floor very confussed. Another night I pished in her bag of clothes she had in my room while I was asleep. I reckon I couldn't find the door knob in the dark.

 

My mate has also done the same thing in my room, he woke me up by bumping into every wall in my room, he also couldn't find the door knob in the dark so just pished on my floor beside my door. I just lay in my bed thinking to myself that no way is he pishing on my floor but he actually was. I still have to get him back for that.

 

Another mate of mine has also done it and he didn't know how to break it to his bird so he lay there for about 45 minutes trying to pluck up the courage to tell her while she was cuddling into him.

 

I've never pooped my pants though.

 

 

Edited by Pash

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Can't believe the amount of minks who have pished themselves.

 

Welcome me to the group guys. :thumbup1:

 

 

Yip Pash, thats what non-members say before they end up joining.

 

I've got a Silver Reward Card, two more indiscretions and i'm a gold member.

 

Must admit though i've curbed my ways and have danger of slipping back to bronze if i dinna get a nip on.

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I have to hold my hands up to shitting myself.

 

I had just returned from a 3 weeks on the batter in various countries across Europe. Arrived back in Perth, went for a few pints. Entered a pizza shop on the way home and ordered. Shortly afterwards i slumped on the floor of the shop and knew there and then i couldnt even eat my pizza when it arrived, i was spinning.

Anyway - i got the pizza, stumbled out the door and instantly felt sick, i fell head first into the door of a church, couldnt put my hands out because i had a pizza in one hand and my luggage in the other so i spewed right down the door of the church and all over the steps.

Anyway - i got home after these 3 weeks and walked straight through the living room - never spoke to my maw or dad despite my long absence, not a single word. Crawled straight intae my scratcher and fell asleep.

Woke up the next morning, farted in my bed and i can only imagine the look of terror on my face as i filled my boxers.

It was remarkably firm considering what id ate and drank for 3 weeks.

So i was in trouble.

Due to the texture of the sh*te, i managed to sorta slither out of the boxers where they lay, leaving the pile of sh*t neatly contained within the undies, not even a skidmark on the bedsheets at all. Pulled on a pair of trackie breeks and put the scadded drawers into a bag, out the back door, walked for 30yards and launched a bag full of sh*t-filled boxers over someones high garden fence.

 

I often wonder to this day what the person who discovered this bag thought.

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Similar to myself in the fact I shat myself at work. I had bought a Thai Box from the Thai Van, was well into it at the time, and was near finished.....let a little fart go, realised it wasn't a fart and it felt warm and wattery.....BUT I continued eating my Thai food, and once I was finished, went to the toilet.....white boxers clarted in sh*te, cleaned my arse up, no bin in the toilet......oh f**k. I'm standing there with my boxers in hand and cannot find a bin in the toilet, if someone walked in at that moment, I looked like a weirdo. Quickly grabbed some toilet roll, wrapped my boxers up in the toilet roll, ran out the toilet and put them in a bin outside.

 

Another stra nge story which happened to me the other week, I was in Triple Kirks (gads I know) - went for a sh*te, once I'd finished, looked to the left (within eye level that's where you expect the toilet roll to be.....more on this soon) - NO toilet roll, and no box thing for the toilet roll, nothing - looked down, where the toilet roll is sometimes stored....nothing. Oh f**k, what on earth do I do here, my arse will be clarted. Well I thought fast, and decided - right, socks it is, removed both my socks and had to use those to wipe.

 

I then stood up (I'm almost 6 foot) - flushed the toilet and on the left hand side within my now eye level, the f**king box thing that holds the sandpaper toilet roll, I was now really pissed off.....

 

Tried to flush the toilet, wouldn't flush - socks had blocked the pan, serves them right for having the toilet roll holder in the most ridiculous place.

 

Quickly washed the hands, ran out and told my mate who was drinking with me. He was near on the floor with laughter. We soon got out of there, I fully expected someone to come looking for the gadgie with no socks on who's now flooded the toilet, I wasn't prepared to take the blame, because the sh*te was stinking.

Funny thing about that post is you trying to claim your nearly 6ft .e

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Slightly off-topic here,

But is it just me or is it a common thing, that when you might have got a wee trace of sh*te on your finger while wiping your arse you dont actually go and wash your hands instantly.

Ohhh no.

Youve got to have a wee fly sniff of the finger first to satisfy your curiosity, and then another wee sniff just to make sure.

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Funny thing about that post is you trying to claim your nearly 6ft .e

 

Closer to 6 foot than 5 foot.....so near 6 foot.

Edited by Roberto

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Closer to 6 foot than 5 foot.....so near 6 foot.

 

 

Ah so it's "Wee man syndrome" that causes all your anger.

 

Never knew you were a short ass as well Roberto. :bounce:

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Ah so it's "Wee man syndrome" that causes all your anger.

 

Never knew you were a short ass as well Roberto. :bounce:

 

I have a huge cock though. It makes up for me being 5 foot 10 or whatever.

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I have a huge cock though. It makes up for me being 5 foot 10 or whatever.

 

Of course you have. :itch-chin:

 

 

You're on idiot block for a week because of that. :liar:

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I have a huge cock though. It makes up for me being 5 foot 10 or whatever.

If you stuck it on top of your head you would just about make 6 foot!!

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Closer to 6 foot than 5 foot.....so near 6 foot.

5'4 or 5'5 on last viewing.

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Of course you have. :itch-chin:

 

 

You're on idiot block for a week because of that. :liar:

 

I don't do lies. And I don't believe you do either, I still believe Riordan is coming to the Dons.

 

If you stuck it on top of your head you would just about make 6 foot!!

 

I'd be about 11 foot if I did that min.

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I don't do lies. And I don't believe you do either, I still believe Riordan is coming to the Dons.

 

 

 

I'd be about 11 foot if I did that min.

 

 

What did you say? ;)

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At TitP a few years ago one of my pals pished on our other mate while he was asleep in the same tent. Boy didna know he'd done it. Still denies it to this day.

 

My other pal walked about the rest of the weekend wearing the same clothes. :laughing:

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Some folk finding pissing on another, kinky.

 

It's nae my cup of tea like.

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Never pissed myself, but have a dodgy stomach just now and just had some sh*t try to escape before I managed to get to the toilet.

Clean pair of boxers on and I'm ready to go again.

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Yip Pash, thats what non-members say before they end up joining.

 

I've got a Silver Reward Card, two more indiscretions and i'm a gold member.

 

Must admit though i've curbed my ways and have danger of slipping back to bronze if i dinna get a nip on.

 

What reward card would I be on? I have to my name a pished myself in bed by myself x 2, a pished myself in bed with my ex and a pished in my ex's bag of clothes when I was sleep pishing. Must be at least a silver surely? Do I get a free box of nappies or something as a silver member?

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What reward card would I be on? I have to my name a pished myself in bed by myself x 2, a pished myself in bed with my ex and a pished in my ex's bag of clothes when I was sleep pishing. Must be at least a silver surely? Do I get a free box of nappies or something as a silver member?

 

 

1 away from Silver and a bonus rubber bedsheet.

 

Good Luck, keep the head up!

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1 away from Silver and a bonus rubber bedsheet.

 

Good Luck, keep the head up!

 

Ok I'm quite happy with bronze just now, I am still young so plenty time.

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I was just discussing this thread with my mate.

And he just told me a f**kin topper!

 

One night him and I tanned a couple of bottles of vodka. I vaguely remember leaving his hoose and staggering home. But he just informed me that later on that night on his own he decided to try on his wifes clothes while she was sound asleep.

 

He woke up in the morning, lying in his kitchen in his wifes wedding dress which was covered in sh*te! He had had major arse collapse in his sleep and had been rolling around on the floor before he woke up.

 

I wondered why things were a bit frosty with his missus when I turned up the next day.

 

Only now 11 years later he spilt the beans.

Magic!

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Only time I think i've pished myself was after a LOT of alcohol, seems to be a recurring theme in this thread, and went to bed. I woke up and the sheets were damp. With a quick sniff....it was confirmed! Thankfully the beds were two singles joint together so the ex didn't know about it, and I never admitted it!

 

I have woken up in the middle of the night somewhere ive never been before, not been able to find the toilet and ended up pishing on someones flat door. To this day people still think I "sleep walked" as they asked me what I was doing and just replied with a "no idea". I just couldn't find the f**king toilet!!

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Never had the midnight skitters, and I haven't wet myself since I was a kid although I came very close to it on a bus heading back to Frankfurt Hahn airport from Mainz. My mate and I polished off a bottle of brandy (WTF - don't even like the stuff) and almost immediately we'd finished it I realised that I should have gone to the toilet even before we'd started drinking the damn thing. I then had an excruciating hour-long bus journey (nae toilet on the bus) to get through, during which there were at least half a dozen occasions when I was convinced I was about to lose it, and when we finally arrived at the airport I sprinted off the bus behind some sheds and let the epic relief flow.

 

The worst I have ever done was after a night on the lash in Lyon, got back to the hotel room utterly cunted, fell asleep/passed out and woke up about an hour later vomiting out the side of the bed. In some ways this is worse than the skittery-jitters, 'cos the room stank to high heaven for the remainder of the break and the guy I was sharing with was, understandably, less than impressed. This wasn't even the old tactical chunder either, it was full-on Linda-Blair-Exorcist-style projectile rancidness. The only possible defence I have is that I wasn't even awake when I started being sick.

 

Absolutely awful behaviour, I was f**king appalled at myself. :nono:

Edited by The Oxford Don

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