Coronavirus

[Fridge]

She fucked us as she wanted to make a point that she cares more about Scottish people than Boris and picked us because she couldn’t really lose any votes.
 

She could at the very least be consistent.

[Guest the shepherd]

With further needless restrictions in place from today for, at least, the next 3 weeks, I just wish to clarify something regarding the wearing-of-face-mask rule in pubs. 

We now have to wear a mask when we enter and leave a pub, and if we are to go to the bog during a session in a pub, as well as remaining 1 metre apart from fellow patrons. 

Will I be breaking the law if I decide to remove my mask when depositing human waste, bearing in mind, if I keep it on microscopic traces of my pish will disperse into the air and settle and congregate on my face mask, completely defeating the purpose of wearing one as it is now contaminated?

[StandFree1982]

7 minutes ago, the shepherd said:

With further needless restrictions in place from today for, at least, the next 3 weeks, I just wish to clarify something regarding the wearing-of-face-mask rule in pubs. 

We now have to wear a mask when we enter and leave a pub, and if we are to go to the bog during a session in a pub, as well as remaining 1 metre apart from fellow patrons. 

Will I be breaking the law if I decide to remove my mask when depositing human waste, bearing in mind, if I keep it on microscopic traces of my pish will disperse into the air and settle and congregate on my face mask, completely defeating the purpose of wearing one as it is now contaminated?

I guess a lot of these "rules" are just to get people to use their common sense. Not sure how it works in a pub, but for restaurants etc, they might ask you to wear a mask until you're sat down at your table. I can't imagine having to stick one on everytime I need a piss on a night out as i'd never have the thing off after a few pints. 

[Fridge]

Most pubs have been doing the mask thing for a pish for a while.

You genuinly forget sometimes, another belter for your solicitor, yep I forgot to wear a mask going for a slash and have told them to get to fuck with their fine. Please ask them to take me to court.

[Guest the shepherd]

24 minutes ago, StandFree1982 said:

I guess a lot of these "rules" are just to get people to use their common sense. Not sure how it works in a pub, but for restaurants etc, they might ask you to wear a mask until you're sat down at your table. I can't imagine having to stick one on everytime I need a piss on a night out as i'd never have the thing off after a few pints. 

That's very true min, though some folks hygiene levels leave a lot to be desired. However, my local has been implementing a strict one-way system in place since the 15th of July, as well as customers having to sit in the same seat for the duration of your stay, maintaining at least a 1 metre distance from other customers.

You are not to leave your seat at all unless you follow the one-way system to leave the building by a side door or to go for a piss.

Barmaids are providing table service every so often to negate you from ordering at the bar, depending on staff availability and how busy the entire pub is (there are three separate enclosed bars in the pub). 

I have already been picked up on on three separate occasions for inadvertently not following the strict rules, the latest being yesterday. 

[Guest the shepherd]

2 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

It would be weird if you were squeezing out a Bismarck, mask on, scants at ankles and you suddenly saw your own reflection.

 

haha lol what a sight 

Seeing my reflection is bad enough without checking it after an inhalation of my pish particles. 

[BrianFaePerth]

best not

 

[Don Fonte]

11 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

best not

 

Bottled it.

[Simply Red]

2 hours ago, NEM said:

I'd disagree there - she was still doing them when there hadn't been a Covid death for about a month.

Ok so you reckon she just loves being on tv every day giving lockdown/covid related updates, but she shouldnt be if theres been no deaths. 

I think she feels a duty to be on there everyday whilst this is going on regardless if anyones died. 

 

[NEM]

39 minutes ago, Simply Red said:

Ok so you reckon she just loves being on tv every day giving lockdown/covid related updates, but she shouldnt be if theres been no deaths. 

I think she feels a duty to be on there everyday whilst this is going on regardless if anyones died. 

 

No I think it's ridiculous she's on TV repeating the same shite every day when there's hardly any deaths.  Monumental waste of time and tax payers money

[NEM]

7 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

The same folk would be accusing Nicola of hiding if she wasn’t on TV regularly. 

Nope - the less I see of her coupon and the less I hear her nails being dragged down a blackboard, grating, weegie cunt of a voice the better ?

[manboobs109]

It's just the same chat everyday really. "This virus is still out there" "lets not waste all that hard work" "we must guard against complacency" She could get a fucking parrot to do it now.

[Fridge]

FACTS

It is beyond a joke now. Naebody is giving a fuck if somebody has been admitted to hospital from Stranraer.

Just update us if we actually need to be told something otherwise let me watch shite antiques programmes.

[manboobs109]

7 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Oh the irony .?

Fuck me, for you to slag anyone for repetitiveness after 2 years of "love bananarama" or "great in the archers" solid is beyond irony Hanzo

[Poodler]

Shetland are getting shagged like.

no cases since April and still being restricted.

I was at a great gathering at the weekend. It will be so disappointing if curtain twitchers starting phoning the dibble every time some folk get together.

[minijc]

Just now, Poodler said:

Shetland are getting shagged like.

no cases since April and still being restricted.

I was at a great gathering at the weekend. It will be so disappointing if curtain twitchers starting phoning the dibble every time some folk get together.

Let me know of the next one please, I'll come along.

[Poodler]

100% 

I assume the Covid Marshall's are just parking wardens? 

That the establishment got these restrictions through without even debating them is showing an increasing disregard for your freedom. 

They are becoming increasingly totalitarian.

 

A good old fashioned riot is needed 

(Socially distanced obvs)

[Don Fonte]

8 minutes ago, Poodler said:

Shetland are getting shagged like.

no cases since April and still being restricted.

I was at a great gathering at the weekend. It will be so disappointing if curtain twitchers starting phoning the dibble every time some folk get together.

I'm attending a wonderful looking gathering tomorrow.

Will just say we all stay together if some virgin calls the cops on us.

[aberdeen1970]

We'll have a better idea of the hospital situation pretty soon as the government site has been updated to say that we'll get more up to date numbers of current covid cases in hospitals from tomorrow. Which is normally at 2pm

[Studebaker-90]

I saw a job advert on twitter for one of these Covid Marshall’s. Mentioned an SIA licence so they are likely to be trained security guards. Imagine degrading yourself to that magnitude in becoming one. 

[Studebaker-90]

She did a good rendition in Eminem’s Stan, though. 

[maryhilldon]

2 minutes ago, rocket_scientist said:

Maybe Dildo is still getting fucked in the basement by some cunt?

Euphemism? 

[Fridge]

Some great tunes Hanzoid, but you  must admit Bono is on Millertime level for being a complete cock?

[maryhilldon]

Bono is a tedious blawhard,  but they recorded some fantastic tunes back in the day. 

[manboobs109]

43 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Rattled . 

Hanzo, I do the rattling son, you know that.

[Studebaker-90]

Some of the tracks on JT are class 

[NEM]

1 hour ago, Poodler said:

Shetland are getting shagged like.

no cases since April and still being restricted.

I was at a great gathering at the weekend. It will be so disappointing if curtain twitchers starting phoning the dibble every time some folk get together.

The policing minister is in the news today encouraging folk to do exactly that.  Ridiculous Stasi type tactics for a glorified cold ?

[dazzy_deff]

Hosted a fantastic gathering at my house on Saturday - hopefully neighbours seen and were disgusted. Same again in the weeks ahead. 

[Simply Red]

2 hours ago, NEM said:

No I think it's ridiculous she's on TV repeating the same shite every day when there's hardly any deaths.  Monumental waste of time and tax payers money

I dont watch it. Suggest you do the same. Aye it is a waste of taxpayers money. Add it to the list.

[Sheepo]

11 minutes ago, Simply Red said:

I dont watch it. Suggest you do the same. Aye it is a waste of taxpayers money. Add it to the list.

Aye that's why the BBC are pulling it as nobody is watching it