Coronavirus

[frankie_mac's_4]

4 minutes ago, cheesepipes said:

He married a Nigerian prostitute and impregnated her at the ripe age of 56.

 

Doesnae go by the nickname Tubby does he?

[frankie_mac's_4]

Nah, wrang spy. On 2nd thoughts I couldnae see tubby speaking aboot that journey pish anyway. Or parting with money.

[frankie_mac's_4]

5 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

I ventured into the Brewdog on Union St couple of years back . I felt so out of place . Beer was alright, nothing great. It just feels a bit ‘artificial’ to me . 

Used to be The Athenaeum back in the day. A great pub back then - a before and after fitba institution.

[NEM]

24 minutes ago, frankie_mac's_4 said:

Doesnae go by the nickname Tubby does he?

Wireliner?

[Simply Red]

6 minutes ago, frankie_mac's_4 said:

Used to be The Athenaeum back in the day. A great pub back then - a before and after fitba institution.

Great boozer. My sister worked in it=free pints for me

[frankie_mac's_4]

2 minutes ago, NEM said:

Wireliner?

The very man. Fine boy.

[Parklife]

Their marketing is quite annoying but it's worked brilliantly for them, so can see why they stick with it. 

They make some brilliant beers though. Not many mass-produced, low priced beers that are as good as some of their stuff. 

[NEM]

Just now, frankie_mac's_4 said:

The very man. Fine boy.

Aye worked with him on the Beryls about 18 years ago.  Sound as a pound

[NEM]

Let us know if her hair falls out or her skin turns green

[Arabian Knight]

if ye cut thru aw the marketin pysh n stick a flat cap oan this cunt yev goat the tru face o brewdug

[Joe pike]

10 minutes ago, rocket_scientist said:

I am now married to a vaccinated person. Haven't seen her since she got it done this morning, don't know if I'll recognise her and not sure I'll want to fuck her any more, the danger of catching something being present and real. Sickeningly, her daughters were giving it well done and good for you and shit like that on the family chat. My son and I have failed to comment. I'm so appalled at this development, forced upon our family by the government that I'm sharing my concerns with you, random strangers on the internet rather than just going straight for divorce. Don't even want to batter her in case I break her skin and the vaccine touches mine. Will be sleeping in the spare bed tonight and keeping a large social distance from her at all times. 

You ever thought of writing a book.

You have a way with words.

[Joe pike]

4 minutes ago, rocket_scientist said:

I wrote one. It was shit. The publishers told me it was shit but I took it personally, argued with them, swung and missed (unusually) at one of them in their boardroom and held another by the throat so they agreed to publish if I paid for it. I was skint at the time so we agreed a print run of 150. There's still 148 for sale somewhere. It was a fictional piece, a novel I guess you call it about a cat who turned into a superbeing, fucked Joanna Lumley, got drunk and then developed testicular cancer. In hindsight it was quite shit and it demotivated me from having another go. 

They have screwed you over.

This came out as a 5 part thriller on Netflix last year.

[Matt Armstrong's Dog]

10 minutes ago, rocket_scientist said:

I wrote one. It was shit. The publishers told me it was shit but I took it personally, argued with them, swung and missed (unusually) at one of them in their boardroom and held another by the throat so they agreed to publish if I paid for it. I was skint at the time so we agreed a print run of 150. There's still 148 for sale somewhere. It was a fictional piece, a novel I guess you call it about a cat who turned into a superbeing, fucked Joanna Lumley, got drunk and then developed testicular cancer. In hindsight it was quite shit and it demotivated me from having another go. 

Sounds like a script from the TV show Woof! except it's about a cat evolving into a human nstead of a human turning into a dog. 

[frankie_mac's_4]

Every cunt is when you hit 50s - badge of honour after a lifetime of abusive lifestyle.

[Fridge]

Rocket get the link to this book up so we can buy it / rip to shreds. 

[manboobs109]

My brother wrote a book I reckon could've got published if he'd tried. It was about a serial killer that killed celebrities and it ended up that cunts wanted killed by him to get famous so acted like total cunts in public to get his attention. Ended up spawning loads of copycats and loads of celebrities ended up getting murdered gruesomely. 

He didn't like celebs much. 

[Fridge]

Are you sure this wasn’t an autobiography? Was Jill Dando in it? 

[DD1903]

16 hours ago, Fridge said:

I put mince and not steak in steak pie. Because I am cool as fuck.

Ooh mince 

[manboobs109]

32 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Is your brother Charlie Brooker ? 

Very Brookeresque but his was written about 2000 Hanzo. 

He used to read his screen burn column though so poss ripped it off from that. 

[Howard Marks]

2 hours ago, rocket_scientist said:

I wrote one. It was shit. The publishers told me it was shit but I took it personally, argued with them, swung and missed (unusually) at one of them in their boardroom and held another by the throat so they agreed to publish if I paid for it. I was skint at the time so we agreed a print run of 150. There's still 148 for sale somewhere. It was a fictional piece, a novel I guess you call it about a cat who turned into a superbeing, fucked Joanna Lumley, got drunk and then developed testicular cancer. In hindsight it was quite shit and it demotivated me from having another go. 

Genuinely laughed at this.

[Howard Marks]

Steak and sausage pie purchased. Thank you @Parklife, you've had me craving this all day.

[Parklife]

37 minutes ago, DD1903 said:

Ooh mince 

Hi Camp David. 

[manboobs109]

14 minutes ago, Howard Marks said:

Steak and sausage pie purchased. Thank you @Parklife, you've had me craving this all day.

Not the first time Parkys had a man craving sausage

Sorry Parky just saving Brizo a bit trouble. 

[tightbreeks]

One good thing about this is the two sorts on the young Turks on you tube. Yasmin, ana and I think the other is called frances. That cenk that seems to run it is a bit of a tit. Yasmin more than makes up for it.

[minijc]

https://twitter.com/foundmyfitness/status/1344728528286191616?s=20

[King Street Loon]

6 hours ago, frankie_mac's_4 said:

Used to be The Athenaeum back in the day. A great pub back then - a before and after fitba institution.

Athenaeum was a fine bar.

[ebbe]

Coronavirus doesn’t exist, except in your minds. 564 pages of gullibility.

[maryhilldon]

2 minutes ago, ebbe said:

Coronavirus doesn’t exist, except in your minds. 564 pages of gullibility.

?

[ebbe]

Just now, rocket_scientist said:

Oh it does. The proof is rushing in.

On another matter, a weegie good mate of mine just sent me this;

GLASGOW STYLE! EXACTLY HOW I REMEMBER!❤️ OF A SCOTTISH NEW YEAR! ...... ??

Steak pie getting cooked, taxi's been booked, Mum getting praise for how good she looked.

House had a scrub, there's hunners of grub, your Da getting grief for going to the pub.

Mushy peas, pieces on tongue and on gammon, Tuc biscuits with cheese and John West salmon, a "Schemie feast" instead of a famine.

Buns of cherry, currants, and Madeira , we couldn't afford anything dearer, excitement is building the bells getting nearer.

Their’s Smirnoff, Babysham, Whyte and McKay, Bacardi, Gin, and Canada Dry, with mixers supplied by the Alpine Guy.

You're allowed a wee Advocatt, or a cheeky wee Shandy, a sly can of beer from Uncle Andy, kissed bang on the lips from all of your hairy lipped Aunties.

Stereogramme ready with musical gems, Abba, The Drifters, and Boney M, all getting blasted 33 RPM.

Now they're all minging, someone starts singing, hoose full of smoke, your eyes are all stinging, they all sing songs that make them greet, Nobody's Child a particular treat, an orphanage song makes all party's upbeat, Wild Side Of Life, Booby McGee, Little Old Wine Drinker Me, Tie A Yellow Ribbon To An Old Oak Tree.

Only 1 more New Year nights to go, to every Aunty and Uncle you know, brilliant to see all your cousins though, and although at times I make it seem tragic, what I would give for one night of magic, to see all our loved ones would make me ecstatic.?

Rap up you trumpet.

[ebbe]

 

8 minutes ago, rocket_scientist said:

I'll fucking wrap you up ye cornet

Fa you phoning?