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Your favourite hotel stories


Poodler

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Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

 

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Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

HAHAHAHA

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Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

Tell the one about sucking the paki's cock

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Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry.

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Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

Legendary status achieved if you’d stopped there and not added the kebab bit.

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Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

 

Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration.

 

True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.

 

Did anything happen when you holidayed in Cuba?

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  • 4 months later...

Naked sleepwalking in Olomouc wishing a couple a good morning in the lift at 6am standing bollock naked demanding a towel and my room number.

 

Allegedly shitting under a pool table, passing out with my suit trousers round my ankles, puking up in a bucket at the main door in front of one of the Saturdays then waking up next morning in bed in my pals room with a bird Id never met.

 

Getting woken up by Reekie and another pal in a hotel in Inverness, finding out i’d Grand Slammed (pissed myself, shat on the floor and spewed my ringer). Then found the missing gram of cocaine I thought my pal had stolen in my spare shoes. A happy ending.

 

Reekies stagger last October too ridiculous a story to tell. @@ebbe

Never mention it eh?

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Hooker back to room in Vegas my four mates all went through her I went last as I was to interested in the high quality cocaine I had acquired from nice athletic gentleman. Couple failed attempts at thumbing in a semi just ended up spooning her and telling how her coco skin was so soft.

 

Pissed myself in Galway on night of my engagement wife not to happy about it understandably. Dons to blame skelping Dundee that night which I also made her watch in the bar the whole bar was cheering by end oh game apparently I don’t mine much.

 

Shat myself in a bnb in Cherbourg after drinking bottle oh whiskey in some dodgy French nightclub. Did a runner back to the ferry port without squaring up the bill. French Cunts

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