A work colleague was leaving who loved sucking the boss’s cock...about a week before I got an email from said boss...I forwarded it to him after editing the original to include...”massively pleased that complete tool xxxx has taken the hint and is fucking off...couldn’t stand the creepy cunt”...great days.
Trespass laws in Scotland are a fucking joke, I recently discovered.
Called the cops on a case of trespass and vandalism, they turn up and explain all the reasons they can't do a fucking thing.
I offered to sort out any cunt wandering onto my property myself since clearly the cops were basically worthless fuckers in fancy dress, to which the coppers detailed all the reasons I wasn't allowed to do anything either or I'd 'get myself in trouble'.
They then went on to blame the SNP.
From what I can gather the most you're legally allowed to do in Scotland is politely ask them to leave your property.
After they've raped, robbed, and murdered you it's okay to call the police on the intruder, at which point the cops will rush around to your house by the end of the next business week and have you fill out some forms. You'll then have to sign a statement swearing that you didn't harm the young scallywag, otherwise you'll get in bother from the law.
After speaking to the cops in Aberdeen I'm like 99% sure that even posting a picture of a golf club under your bed can be interpreted as intent to assault a burglar, which, as I'm sure you're now aware, could land you in bother.
I bet you were glad to get back to the States again buddy.,,,