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Holidays 2019


RAZOR

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Can you share an example of a holiday you’ve had on this basis?

 

Livi in a limo apart that is.

Met cliff Richard in Croatia after getting the next plane out of Edinburgh to escape a chlamydia scandal at work. Just booked a single flight. Great holiday.

 

Worry about accommodation and flights home later on

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We went to Butlins Ayr one time back when I was a wee loon. 

 

Even as a small child, I remember thinking it was fucking horrendous. A sea of absolute minkery of the kind I had never experienced before. It was a shock to the system for all of us, I think. I recall the adverts were of jolly comedians and audiences of 'campers' in stitches at the cheeky racist jokes, of happy children cannonballing into the pool, and helpful Redcoats pointing vaguely in the direction of the 'fun'. 

 

In reality it was like a concentration camp run by alcoholics, sex offenders, drug-fiends, and ex-convicts...  A lot of people probably got raped there over the years... it seemed like that kind of place.

 

So they rebranded it, did they? 

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I've got a hatred of public pools as it is.

 

The well documented mongol with the massive nudger stripping me of manhood.

 

Watched another disabled boy spend half an hour picking scabs off his arms and dropping them into the water.

 

So there's absolutely no chance I'm dipping into a weegie Butlins pool. It's probably most of the mutants yearly bathtime, disgusting and unhygienic to levels you've not yet encountered.

 

I get the same ill ease at Time Capsule and Olympia.

 

Kids, missus all striding with excitement and I start getting stressed as soon as I get the first whiff of chlorine about 500m from the final destination.

 

Stress levels ramp up in the changing room, discarded plasters, bellybutton fluff and dirty slimy water on the floor...... I'm looking at the family like "can you fuckers not see this"

 

Then into the pool, that constant white noise of echoed Screams and splashing and a collection of disgusting misfits all churning up a foamy soup of shit particles, snotters and dead skin.

 

I despise it with a serious passion.

Public pools LOL

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I've got a hatred of public pools as it is.

 

The well documented mongol with the massive nudger stripping me of manhood.

 

Watched another disabled boy spend half an hour picking scabs off his arms and dropping them into the water.

 

So there's absolutely no chance I'm dipping into a weegie Butlins pool. It's probably most of the mutants yearly bathtime, disgusting and unhygienic to levels you've not yet encountered.

 

I get the same ill ease at Time Capsule and Olympia.

 

Kids, missus all striding with excitement and I start getting stressed as soon as I get the first whiff of chlorine about 500m from the final destination.

 

Stress levels ramp up in the changing room, discarded plasters, bellybutton fluff and dirty slimy water on the floor...... I'm looking at the family like "can you fuckers not see this"

 

Then into the pool, that constant white noise of echoed Screams and splashing and a collection of disgusting misfits all churning up a foamy soup of shit particles, snotters and dead skin.

 

I despise it with a serious passion.

 

Gads

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Been to butlins in wales with the boys club fitba team about 13yo for a uk fitba comp and got our medals at the end of it fae Emlyn Hughes. Which was nice.

That was a good week. Playing fitba, fichting english lads, arcades and tabs and chatting up exotics fae Hull like Sooper says.

Also went to the shiine on music festival at Bristol butlins a few year back. That was fucking tip top. Middle of November so whole place was just gig punters. Great weekend. No fucking about with tents required.

Carpets/mondays/northside/stereo mcs/the farm/the orb/peter hook/bentley rhythm ace/etc

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I've got a hatred of public pools as it is.

 

The well documented mongol with the massive nudger stripping me of manhood.

 

Watched another disabled boy spend half an hour picking scabs off his arms and dropping them into the water.

 

So there's absolutely no chance I'm dipping into a weegie Butlins pool. It's probably most of the mutants yearly bathtime, disgusting and unhygienic to levels you've not yet encountered.

 

I get the same ill ease at Time Capsule and Olympia.

 

Kids, missus all striding with excitement and I start getting stressed as soon as I get the first whiff of chlorine about 500m from the final destination.

 

Stress levels ramp up in the changing room, discarded plasters, bellybutton fluff and dirty slimy water on the floor...... I'm looking at the family like "can you fuckers not see this"

 

Then into the pool, that constant white noise of echoed Screams and splashing and a collection of disgusting misfits all churning up a foamy soup of shit particles, snotters and dead skin.

 

I despise it with a serious passion.

 

 

Primary school and it was time to complete my 100m swim so I could get a certificate proving I was a competent swimmer.

 

I was nervous as not confident in the water. While waiting for my turn at side of pool I picked up what I thought was a small piece of plastic and started nibbling nervously on it.

 

Took around a minute to realise it was a discarded toe nail. 

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