Pet Hates

[Donnet]

Have always thought the UK terminology of the inside/outside lane is backwards.

[Betty Swallicks]

David Beckham has several top end motors and also a few chopshop bobbers.

 

He struck a lovely football.

 

Multi millionaire owns cars. Well I'll be...

[manboobs109]

Get the Audi cunt telt Dad

[Betty Swallicks]

 

 

I like this game.

 

What does the winner get?

 

 

A years subscription to Steering Wheel Weekly or Hub Cap Monthly or whatever those magazines for mongs are called.

[mcdougall(4)]

My mates' wife making it known to anyone that'll listen in person or online that their new Merc is just the 'wee' car.

 

Not driving but being driven is where it's at

[mcdougall(4)]

 

Probably traumatised because they were last pick in the playground.

 

Obviously you lads have never seen a football team car park

[scoot]

Anyone who uses the car make or model rather than just saying "the car" is a cunt.

 

 

Same with mobile phones.... "iphone"

[mcdougall(4)]

That's a bus

[Arabian Knight]

pipe doon mt ffs, cunts gittin carried away agen, pit thon phone doon, awa tae yir scratcher

[Redforever86]

That's a bus

 

Cleary says it's a coach. Fud.

[Betty Swallicks]

Haha yea @@Poodler

 

Turning, looking back and just doing that "guy nod" thing, with a slight smirk

 

I bet you've done some "guy nodding" in yer time eh mt.

[dave_min]

Whatever happened to falling in love with a nigger with a buspass???????

Top posting, can't believe nobody picked up on this gem.

 

Y'all should be ashamed.

[shut up meg]

I've always said it MT.

I dig the Black Capri.

Although a British "classic" it could be done serious justice with a cowboy hat and some python cowboy boots.

Cant see the picture however I do like the capri.

Maybe to add a bit of class, you can change the horn so when you press it, it plays la cucaracha instead.

[Betty Swallicks]

Cant see the picture however I do like the capri.

Maybe to add a bit of class, you can change the horn so when you press it, it plays la cucaracha instead.

 

Or the Dukes Of Hazzard (General Lee?) one.

 

YeeeeeHaaaaar!

[dazzy_deff]

Bank machines when you select the option cash no receipt, and they then proceed to ask later on, would you like a receipt for this transaction - pisses me off every time.

 

If I wanted a fuckin receipt Id have selected cash with receipt.

[alscotoz]

Always ask for a receipt when dealing with banks. Thieving cunts.

[Dal Riata Don]

Tragic. Absolutely tragic

 

There's a boy that works with my pal who we all noise up for his poor selection of wife. This is her third marriage and she's kept the last name of her last husband so she's double barrelled now. She's decimated his finances. Every post on fb she makes goes into our group chat. 750k hooses, plots of land, cheap hooses as restoration projects etc.

 

He had to leave his job for a bigger basic (with no bonus) to keep up with her demands and he hates the new place.

 

Fuck that. And fuck women.

See in that situation I make the bloke wrong.

 

The woman here is just behaving as she naturally is - she's not hiding anything.

 

Perhaps she's a cunt but she's an upfront cunt and that, at least, is honest.

 

What is the bloke getting out of having a bird like that? There must be something.

[Arabian Knight]

somethimes eh hink men r punch drunk wi the wimmin the git wi. Jamie vardy fir wan, gormless lookin cunt richt enuff but enuff cash tae git an upgrade fae thon chunk eh meat ez ridin n aw the baggage thit comes wi it. everycunt mist ken a cunt like poodler wis oan aboot there, ye wonder wit thi see in the cunt. ehd hae meh pocket pussy ower half the cunts meh neeburs r shacked up wi. thi must hae a special connection or somehin. eh hid that wi wan dame a few year ago, nice as pie, gade laff, whipped the scants aff it n wan pishflap wis hangin doon lower thin the ither. hid eh few mare dates but eh cidna get past thon imperfection eatin awa. ended oan a sour note tae. n mibbe that's doon tae meh expectation. infact it wis. it shows meh how shallow eh wis n lookin fir ither reasons tae justify meh cruelty n it wis meh burden eh shame eh still hink aboot

[Chewie37]

These

These are my pet hate, if not more

Someone trying way, way too hard

Positively bacterial

Correct, it's way past boring

[mcdougall(4)]

Correct, it's way past boring

I put it on block ages ago

Makes things easy

Never see the strange shite

[Arabian Knight]

Yup

 

"Pishflaps"

 

HAJAHAHA

 

no

ye goat pit thru the mincer last week, ye wir brutalized, idiotic cunt. far too early fir u tae be bouncing back aw confident like that, the hells nae ower. n dinna bother cheerleading thon shyte above n below ye ya wee rat lookin cunt, thir verified 100 percent dugshyte, widna even pysh oan thim

[Chewie37]

Wow @@Millertime ruined by gibberish, bet that’s ruined his weekend....... not

[shut up meg]

Wow @@Millertime ruined by gibberish, bet that’s ruined his weekend....... not

 

Maybe gibberish, he's got a point though.

[Ke1t]

People who put you in a position where you're left with no option but to sound like a cunt.

 

Went to the deli to buy some meat for the smoker. Wanted it in 1/2" thick slices... so I go up to the bird behind the counter.

 

"Can you give me that meat in 1/2" thick slices?" I ask

 

"What do you mean?" she says

 

"Can you slice that meat into 1/2 thick slices?" I ask again

 

"What do you mean by half an inch?" she says.

 

Genuinely had no fucking idea how else to explain what I meant, so I started looking for different ways of saying exactly the same thing...

 

"Sliced pieces... can you do that and make them half as thick as a piece that would be, say, an inch thick?" I said

 

Blank expression

 

"Slices about this thick." I explain again, holding up thumb and forefinger about a half inch apart. "Can you do that?"

 

"Slices?" She enquired, as she stood about 3 feet from the slicing machine.

 

After a couple of minutes of trying to explain, as though to a fucking simpleton, using multiple variations of exactly the same words, I gave up my place and came back when one of the other assistants was free. I was getting bad looks from her, though, as she'd likely heard my conversation of a few minutes earlier and figured I was just being a cunt to her co-worker. I wasn't trying to be a cunt, I was just trying to convey the apparently hugely complicated concept of slicing beef into slices about a half inch thick.

 

"Did I sound like an arsehole?" I asked the wife, looking for confirmation that I hadn't sounded like an arsehole.

 

"Yup" said the fucking wife.

[maryhilldon]

People who put you in a position where you're left with no option but to sound like a cunt.

 

Went to the deli to buy some meat for the smoker. Wanted it in 1/2" thick slices... so I go up to the bird behind the counter.

 

"Can you give me that meat in 1/2" thick slices?" I ask

 

"What do you mean?" she says

 

"Can you slice that meat into 1/2 thick slices?" I ask again

 

"What do you mean by half an inch?" she says.

 

Genuinely had no fucking idea how else to explain what I meant, so I started looking for different ways of saying exactly the same thing...

 

"Sliced pieces... can you do that and make them half as thick as a piece that would be, say, an inch thick?" I said

 

Blank expression

 

"Slices about this thick." I explain again, holding up thumb and forefinger about a half inch apart. "Can you do that?"

 

"Slices?" She enquired, as she stood about 3 feet from the slicing machine.

 

After a couple of minutes of trying to explain, as though to a fucking simpleton, using multiple variations of exactly the same words, I gave up my place and came back when one of the other assistants was free. I was getting bad looks from her, though, as she'd likely heard my conversation of a few minutes earlier and figured I was just being a cunt to her co-worker. I wasn't trying to be a cunt, I was just trying to convey the apparently hugely complicated concept of slicing beef into slices about a half inch thick.

 

"Did I sound like an arsehole?" I asked the wife, looking for confirmation that I hadn't sounded like an arsehole.

 

"Yup" said the fucking wife.

 

Should've whipped your pecker out and said 'that thick'.

[Ke1t]

Should've whipped your pecker out and said 'that thick'.

 

You think I had a stiffy?

 

 

Yanks deal in metric

 

Should have asked for the slices to be 1.28 centimetres

 

Yanks deal in Imperial... they fear change.

[Bluto10]

Yanks deal in metric

Should have asked for the slices to be 1.28 centimetres

Check you out; you big brainbox.

You should've been on the fuckin krypton factor min

[Chewie37]

Maybe gibberish, he's got a point though.

No, no point to his shite

[Betty Swallicks]

Modern football "ultras".

 

Like that Crystal Palace lot.

 

Ultras?!?! Look like scarfers with dance routines to me.

[alscotoz]

People who put you in a position where you're left with no option but to sound like a cunt.

 

Went to the deli to buy some meat for the smoker. Wanted it in 1/2" thick slices... so I go up to the bird behind the counter.

 

"Can you give me that meat in 1/2" thick slices?" I ask

 

"What do you mean?" she says

 

"Can you slice that meat into 1/2 thick slices?" I ask again

 

"What do you mean by half an inch?" she says.

 

Genuinely had no fucking idea how else to explain what I meant, so I started looking for different ways of saying exactly the same thing...

 

"Sliced pieces... can you do that and make them half as thick as a piece that would be, say, an inch thick?" I said

 

Blank expression

 

"Slices about this thick." I explain again, holding up thumb and forefinger about a half inch apart. "Can you do that?"

 

"Slices?" She enquired, as she stood about 3 feet from the slicing machine.

 

After a couple of minutes of trying to explain, as though to a fucking simpleton, using multiple variations of exactly the same words, I gave up my place and came back when one of the other assistants was free. I was getting bad looks from her, though, as she'd likely heard my conversation of a few minutes earlier and figured I was just being a cunt to her co-worker. I wasn't trying to be a cunt, I was just trying to convey the apparently hugely complicated concept of slicing beef into slices about a half inch thick.

 

"Did I sound like an arsehole?" I asked the wife, looking for confirmation that I hadn't sounded like an arsehole.

 

"Yup" said the fucking wife.

 

Don't know how you put up with the cunts...Yanks