Latest Purchase Thread

[maryhilldon]

Does your talking car take it up the arsehole , Boof ?

Right up the exhaust pipe.

[Ke1t]

Art.

 

We bought... 'art'.

 

[BrianFaePerth]

You’re getting awfy domesticated kelt. No amount of hog roasting or gun shooting can cancel that purchase out.

[Ke1t]

You’re getting awfy domesticated kelt. No amount of hog roasting or gun shooting can cancel that purchase out.

 

Secret to any good relationship is a bit of give and take... she indulges my stupid shit like butchering a pig on the deck, and sometimes I'll walk round an art gallery to keep her happy. 

 

I don't much like art, though. But everybody loves hacking the spine out of a pig. 

 

I did come to the conclusion that anyone can be an artist... fire up the welder and stick some copper piping together in a haphazard fashion... boom... art. 

 

The secret to 'art' is your angle. This artist bird, absolute fucking lesbian, was telling the wife how this thing was made with pieces from a 1967 Mustang and the springs out of a Swiss Cuckoo clock or some bollocks.  The wife's lapping it up and writing a check before Butch McLesbo had even finished her speil. We got one of these fucking monstrosities home in the car, it's now up on the wall... but she also got some giant 'Face on a Stick' thing that's made out of malleable iron and embedded in concrete supposedly turning up before christmas. Have to persuade her to cancel that. 

 

Almost verbatum conversation on Sunday. 

 

"Oh MY GOD! I LOVE THAT FACE ON A STICK!"

 

"You're not getting that."

 

"WHERE'S THE ARTIST?"

 

"You're a fucking idiot. You're not getting that."

 

"DID YOU MAKE THIS FACE ON A STICK THING?"

 

"Ya... it's made with copper salvaged from an Alabama Insane Asylum. The nose is an exact replica of Haile Selassi's, and the eye (singular) is colored blue like the malevolent gaze of Richard Ramirez. All proceeds go to Lesbians For The Extinction of Men."

 

So that's ours now. 

 

You like this? This fucking thing's up on my wall now.  The half ton of iron and concrete is getting delivered in a truck, and fuck knows where she thinks that's going. 

 

[The Boofon]

Jacob Rees Moog IMO.

[BrianFaePerth]

Fuckin hell kelt you’ve got Harry Hill on your wall

[manboobs109]

I've said before that art is all about confidence. If I made that I'd be thinking 'that looks stupid as fuck, everyone will laugh at me' but these cunts can just blag it and sell them.

[manboobs109]

Look at the old shit Jackson Pollock got away with for years, scamming cunt.

[Dom Sullivan]

Secret to any good relationship is a bit of give and take... she indulges my stupid shit like butchering a pig on the deck, and sometimes I'll walk round an art gallery to keep her happy. 

 

I don't much like art, though. But everybody loves hacking the spine out of a pig. 

 

I did come to the conclusion that anyone can be an artist... fire up the welder and stick some copper piping together in a haphazard fashion... boom... art. 

 

The secret to 'art' is your angle. This artist bird, absolute fucking lesbian, was telling the wife how this thing was made with pieces from a 1967 Mustang and the springs out of a Swiss Cuckoo clock or some bollocks.  The wife's lapping it up and writing a check before Butch McLesbo had even finished her speil. We got one of these fucking monstrosities home in the car, it's now up on the wall... but she also got some giant 'Face on a Stick' thing that's made out of malleable iron and embedded in concrete supposedly turning up before christmas. Have to persuade her to cancel that. 

 

Almost verbatum conversation on Sunday. 

 

"Oh MY GOD! I LOVE THAT FACE ON A STICK!"

 

"You're not getting that."

 

"WHERE'S THE ARTIST?"

 

"You're a fucking idiot. You're not getting that."

 

"DID YOU MAKE THIS FACE ON A STICK THING?"

 

"Ya... it's made with copper salvaged from an Alabama Insane Asylum. The nose is an exact replica of Haile Selassi's, and the eye (singular) is colored blue like the malevolent gaze of Richard Ramirez. All proceeds go to Lesbians For The Extinction of Men."

 

So that's ours now. 

 

You like this? This fucking thing's up on my wall now.  The half ton of iron and concrete is getting delivered in a truck, and fuck knows where she thinks that's going. 

 

  

Looks like the special brother of the 7-up guy.

Holy fuck.

 

Fido Fucking Dido, right enough

[Poodler]

I've said before that art is all about confidence. If I made that I'd be thinking 'that looks stupid as fuck, everyone will laugh at me' but these cunts can just blag it and sell them.

 

 

See the recent banana stunt

[Redforever86]

I've said before that art is all about confidence. If I made that I'd be thinking 'that looks stupid as fuck, everyone will laugh at me' but these cunts can just blag it and sell them.

Fair play to the cunts though, it’s dumb cunts wi too much cash buying it.

[manboobs109]

Agreed. I've no issues with daft rich cunts getting scammed

[YorkDon]

I've said before that art is all about confidence. If I made that I'd be thinking 'that looks stupid as fuck, everyone will laugh at me' but these cunts can just blag it and sell them.

You convince enough of the right daft cunts it’s brilliant,and it’s a masterpiece.

[Ke1t]

Van Gogh was the master at convincing folk his shite wasn't shite. 

 

This would have got any one of us a D in art, but because it was Richard that pinted it it's up on the wall of the National Gallery. 

 

Bollocks. 

 

[Don Fonte]

A new kindle.

[The Buzzard]

Looks like the special brother of the 7-up guy.

That's the fucker! I knew it reminded me of someone. Was his name Fido Dido or something?

[manboobs109]

A new kindle.

I read a kindle a week

[Simply Red]

Good for starting fires

Probably Billy Joels finest moment

[Simply Red]

Nah

 

That was Eyes Without a Face

Rocky Dennis

[minijc]

Fuckin hell kelt you’ve got Harry Hill on your wall

Huge part of Goodfellas, shame he was a snitch IRL.

[Ke1t]

If you turn it upside down.

 

It's still shit.

 

 

 

It's not like you can even fuck it.

 

Try and fuck it, anyway. I dare you, Sir.

 

 

How very dare you, sir!

 

It's made with pieces of a 1960 something Mustang and bits of a fucking Cuckoo clock. 

 

This is what art is all about. 

 

I plan to make 'art' at some point in the summer when I can get to my workshop.  

 

I even have a piece planned.... 

 

It's called Le Tacle d'Horreur

 

If anyone wants to buy it, it's going to be made with bits of reclaimed patella and aluminium bolts. 

[Ke1t]

Pigs head on a stick, man.

 

Lord Of The Flies is Peppa Pig.

 

You could fuck that, likes.

 

I'm not fucking a pig's head. 

 

You have me confused with David Cameron. 

[BrianFaePerth]

A new kindle.

Reading LOL

[Betty Swallicks]

How very dare you, sir!

 

It's made with pieces of a 1960 something Mustang and bits of a fucking Cuckoo clock. 

 

This is what art is all about. 

 

I plan to make 'art' at some point in the summer when I can get to my workshop.  

 

I even have a piece planned.... 

 

It's called Le Tacle d'Horreur

 

If anyone wants to buy it, it's going to be made with bits of reclaimed patella and aluminium bolts. 

 

Want to buy some beans?

[Poodler]

Want to buy some beans?

Moobs is in the market for beans

[maryhilldon]

 

 

Looks like Mick Mccarthy.

[strachanmcgheegoal]

Turn it around, wee bit of rearranging, a spottie solder here and there and voila, a massive cock.

[Arabian Knight]

jist goat a new pair eh levi 511 n goat spunk oan thim n hid tae wash thim strait awa.. pain in the erse cos levi sez yer nivir ment tae wash denim

[BrianFaePerth]

jist goat a new pair eh levi 511 n goat spunk oan thim n hid tae wash thim strait awa.. pain in the erse cos levi sez yer nivir ment tae wash denim

Davie naeneck visiting you AK?

[Redforever86]

jist goat a new pair eh levi 511 n goat spunk oan thim n hid tae wash thim strait awa.. pain in the erse cos levi sez yer nivir ment tae wash denim

 

Just use detergent designed for use with denim and hand wash them. Or program your washing machine to nae spin that fast and on a low temp.