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Cutlery


JumboJET

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41 minutes ago, JumboJET said:

Right hand - fork.

Left hand - knife. 

If I am eating a dish that requires a spoon, for example soup, the spoon goes in my right hand.

What about you?

There's none of this fancy 'cutlery' shit when you're deep in the woods with nothing but nature's bounty to sustain you... a few berries, maybe some acorns, mushies, and all the tree rats you can hit with a rock... not to mention bears can hear the clink of cutlery from 15 miles if the wind is blowing in the right direction.

You ever see a man torn to pieces by an enraged Kodiak, attracted by the sound of a fruit fork clinking delicately against the finest Deshouliers or Hutschenreuther?  

Might be okay in your fancy houses, but you try that shit in the wilderness and you're going to end up shat out by every bear in a 700 mile area, thank you. 

 

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This causes my Mrs to be a bit irked with me. Whatever the 'normally accepted way' is for knife/fork left hand /right hand ( I cant even remember) I do it the opposite way, simply because it feels more comfortable that way for me. (I'm not left handed btw)  Im not going to change because some Victorian cunt came up with a stupid convention. 

Interesting fact re cutlery . in the USA far more forks are sold than knives.

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20 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

There's none of this fancy 'cutlery' shit when you're deep in the woods with nothing but nature's bounty to sustain you... a few berries, maybe some acorns, mushies, and all the tree rats you can hit with a rock... not to mention bears can hear the clink of cutlery from 15 miles if the wind is blowing in the right direction.

You ever see a man torn to pieces by an enraged Kodiak, attracted by the sound of a fruit fork clinking delicately against the finest Deshouliers or Hutschenreuther?  

Might be okay in your fancy houses, but you try that shit in the wilderness and you're going to end up shat out by every bear in a 700 mile area, thank you. 

 

You never heard of plastic or wooden cutlery pal?

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23 minutes ago, Reed or deed said:

You never heard of plastic or wooden cutlery pal?

Plastic's fine if you're eating escargot or canapes on a sailboat with a bunch of chinless Nigels and Emmas, but you try stabbing a burnt steak with a plastic fork and that utensil's shattering like a Hun's knee after a perfectly fair tackle. 

And wood?

Wood's fine if you're a hippy who doesn't mind bacteria sticking in the porous material, regardless of how well you scrub it. 

You ever came down with a massive bacterial infection while 50 miles from the nearest dirt track? Sure, you can walk that shit off if you're rugged and butch, but the animals are guaranteed to sense your weakened condition... and before you know it you've a pack of wolves circling you, and all you have to fend them off with is a ropey wooden spoon. 

Good luck with THAT wilderness situation, my friend.

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8 hours ago, Ke1t said:

I'm no expert on veganism, but I'm like 99% sure you're allowed steak. 

Thank fuck you went 99%
no animal produce can be consumed or worn being a vegan, be it milk,cheese,steak,wear fur coats or leather etc.

you can get vegan steaks but they are plant based shite

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9 hours ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Aye, that's what I do as well. I'm right handed so cut with the knife in my right hand. 

Here’s the difference, am right handed but start off using the knife on my right also but, I interchange while eating regularly!, also use a teaspoon to savour my pudding(unless a sundae!, then a longer teaspoon is needed) instead of using a big bastard serving spoon and 2 bites and gone.

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