If You Died Tomorrow...

[Guest milne_afc]

...or in the near future, how many people do you expect would turn up at your funeral?

 

I'd be happy with three figures(any 3).

[Fridge]

Do you not get a minutes applause at a game? #faux sympathy

[dave_min]

24

[Dynamo]

24

 

*25.

 

I'd go just to make sure.

[Poodler]

If I got to make the playlist for it and it was published in advance then it'd be a sellout

[manboobs109]

Just my mum as I have no mates . @@Millertime

Same here Hanzoid. I only come on here to make mates @Captain Mongochops

[mcdougall(4)]

I'd hope for very few, no one needs to put people through funerals, self indulgent nonsense.

[ebbe]

If I got to make the playlist for it and it was published in advance then it'd be a sellout

Peace Frog better be on it or there could be further trouble,

[Fridge]

I'd hope for very few, no one needs to put people through funerals, self indulgent nonsense.

Fucks your problem with free sausage rolls and an afternoon off work?

[manboobs109]

^ How can it be 'self indulgent' ya fucking tit? The cunts dead, they don't put anyone through anything

[manboobs109]

I've said it before but my Dad's funeral was one of the greatest piss ups I've had

[Fridge]

I’m actually normally not too bad at funerals and not emotional but I had to go to one when it was a 4 year old drowned.

 

Shaking hands at the end is the worst bit, managed to hold it together for the Dad, got into my car and totally broke down. Can only imagine how he felt

[The Boofon]

^ How can it be 'self indulgent' ya fucking tit? The cunts dead, they don't put anyone through anything

Hahaha.

[The Boofon]

I’m actually normally not too bad at funerals and not emotional but I had to go to one when it was a 4 year old drowned.

 

Shaking hands at the end is the worst bit, managed to hold it together for the Dad, got into my car and totally broke down. Can only imagine how he felt

Fuck that’s bad luck at a funeral. A flooded engine would be pretty ironic.

[Fridge]

Had to phone AA. They asked if my name was Bluto.

[Ke1t]

No intention of having a funeral. 

 

In the event that I die from something I wasn't able to walk off (unlikely) then a quick cremation and use my ashes to grit the drive in winter. 

 

But seriously... walk that shit off. 

 

[The Boofon]

No intention of having a funeral.

 

In the event that I die from something I wasn't able to walk off (unlikely) then a quick cremation and use my ashes to grit the drive in winter.

 

But seriously... walk that shit off.

 

How many went to your funeral when you died last time Kelt?

[Poodler]

Fuck that’s bad luck at a funeral. A flooded engine would be pretty ironic.

 

 

Hehehe

 

 

@@ebbe yer Nae wrang!

[Ke1t]

How many went to your funeral when you died last time Kelt?

 

That's right... that wee puddin' fae Wick claimed I was deid while I was taking a year's board Hiatus... forgot about that. 

 

Surely no-one was taken in, though. 

 

"Kelt?" They'd have said... "Surely he'd have walked it off, whatever it was."

 

And they'd have been right. 

[The Boofon]

I emailed you for confirmation and got no reply so feared the worst.

[Red Ram]

No idea and not bothered now and certainly no shit given once inside a pine box but keeping fingers crossed I survive until after 2nd December so I get use of ticket just purchased

[The Boofon]

When I die I want my remains scattered over Kingsford.

 

I don’t want to be cremated either.

[Poodler]

That's right... that wee puddin' fae Wick claimed I was deid while I was taking a year's board Hiatus... forgot about that.

 

Surely no-one was taken in, though.

 

"Kelt?" They'd have said... "Surely he'd have walked it off, whatever it was."

 

And they'd have been right.

 

What's it like having a year away from here?

 

And how do you feel about relapsing?

[Ke1t]

I emailed you for confirmation and got no reply so feared the worst.

 

Don't recall seeing any eMails, but then I rarely check my personal eMail, since 99% of it is shite about penis enhancement, 100% of which are forwarded to me by the wife. 

 

Periodically I go in and delete thousands of eMail without reading them... so it's possible/probable yours was deleted. 

 

I'm fine though, thanks for asking. 

[Fridge]

 

That's right... that wee puddin' fae Wick claimed I was deid while I was taking a year's board Hiatus... forgot about that.

 

So just to confirm you don’t want a justgiving

Page, minutes applause at 69 minutes and we love Kelt banner from some some faux sympathy birds.

[dave_min]

*25.

 

I'd go just to make sure.

You nae able to bring a date like?

 

Loser.

[Ke1t]

 

That's right... that wee puddin' fae Wick claimed I was deid while I was taking a year's board Hiatus... forgot about that.

 

So just to confirm you don’t want a justgiving

Page, minutes applause at 69 minutes and we love Kelt banner from some some faux sympathy birds.

 

A minute's applause wouldn't be over the top, I don't think. I mean, if that's what you lads want to do... it would be rude to tell ye's no. 

 

A wee banner, maybe running the full length of the Souther, that would be appropriate I think.  

 

And a lad wi a jetpack... like the start of the 1984 Olympics... blasting in aff the Broad hill and landing on the centre circle, maybe decked oot in the full sparkly Uncle Sam outfit, just to annoy a' cunt one last time. 

 

[The Boofon]

Should have had the eagle on the jet pack IMO.

[Ke1t]

Should have had the eagle on the jet pack IMO.

 

Easy, easy, easy, Sam... Easy... easy... easy...

 

What the fuck did the lad in the blue blazer think?  That Sam was a real eagle, and that upon seeing another male fly into his territory... albeit with a jetpack... Sam would fly up into the air and engage jetpack guy in aerial combat?

 

Easy, Sam... easy... 

[Reed or deed]

If I died tomorrow I'd be secretly pleased. Been invited for drinks on Friday night at a neighbours and the boy is a complete bellend.