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Telly Programmes That Haven't Been Made Yet


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#61 OFFLINE   tup

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 02:50 PM

Fawlty Showers.

A comedy about a farcical hotel owner, his hapless waiter and his racist wife.

Based in Germany.
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#62 OFFLINE   tightbreeks

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 02:56 PM

One man and his Dogging

presented by:- Steve McFadden with Rovering reporter Stan Collymore.

Location:- remote car parks around the UK.
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#63 OFFLINE   Slimfella

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 02:59 PM

Whose quine is it anyway?

It's 3am and 2 drunks have at it over some old bird they have never met or talked to, or even laid eyes on ,before now, in the Metro (subtitles)
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#64 OFFLINE   The Boofon

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 03:01 PM

Richard and Goody

RIchard Madeley gets visitations from the ghost of Jade and is urged to go out and steal sausages and a bottle of wine all captured on CCTV and shown to the general public.

He gets off with it though as the Goody visitations means his memory plays tricks on him and he forgot they were there.
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#65 OFFLINE   The Boofon

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 03:02 PM

Gooks.

MI6 shenanigans in Vietnam instead of London.
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#66 OFFLINE   tup

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 03:02 PM

Spitting Image.

A holograph of El-Hadji Diouf is projected onto Trafalgar Square, where it proceeds to spit at non-plussed passers by.
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#67 OFFLINE   The Boofon

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 03:08 PM

Chiel or no chiel?

Folk from the boil on the rear end of humanity (Keith) and other normal humans come onto telly and stry and hide their ridiculous teuchter accents.

You have to decide whether it's a chiel or no chiel.
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#68 OFFLINE   tup

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 03:11 PM

Strike it Buckie

Michael Barrymore follows a gang of tooled up neds from Easterhouse as they tan bottle after bottle of their favourite fortified tipple, before rattling the empty bottle across some innocent bystander's 'napper'.
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#69 OFFLINE   Slimfella

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 03:18 PM

Bitchtits

Doublebill. Ep 4. Det Insp Bitchtits must save his trusty sidekick/assistant Sgt MacO'McFlaniganiherty-Brown within 1 hour as she swings over a bottomless pit somewhere in the city. Armed with a box set of MacGyver and a bottle of Whisky. Ep 5, Bitchtits must save his new assistant from getting a small electric shock from a lift button.
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#70 OFFLINE   The Boofon

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 03:19 PM

Me, myself and polystyrene.

bigredbill (and alter ego) in a documentary about how great disposable cups are at muffling terrible music coming from band practice.
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#71 OFFLINE   Slimfella

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 03:26 PM

Celebrity Ass race

It's the final. Tim Healy, Vanessa Feltz, Bob Carolgees, Rik Waller, Michelle McManus and Russell Grant frantically drag and claw their @rses to the final finish line in one last battle to the death.
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#72 OFFLINE   TheG_L_A

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 03:43 PM

Chiel or no chiel?

Folk from the boil on the rear end of humanity (Keith) and other normal humans come onto telly and stry and hide their ridiculous teuchter accents.

You have to decide whether it's a chiel or no chiel.


Fiel or no Fiel?

Documentary about "special" schools in the North east.
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Who's this audacious young savage?

#73 OFFLINE   tup

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 03:45 PM

Fiel or no Fiel?

Documentary about "special" schools in the North east.


Creel or no creel?

A follow up to Trawlermen, featuring cash hungry crab fishermen going out in force nine conditions, looking for ither people's creels.
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#74 OFFLINE   rocket_scientist

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 03:50 PM

Spitting Image.

A holograph of El-Hadji Diouf is projected onto Trafalgar Square, where it proceeds to spit at non-plussed passers by.

That is good. Quite brilliant in fact and suggestive of a highly functioning imagination.

When Uma Mia said to Vincent "that sounds like you got something to say", the heavy implication was that most don't.

Dat was worth reading. Most posts aren't.
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#75 OFFLINE   tommo1903

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 04:05 PM

Celebrity Juice.

Holly Willoughby, Rufus Hound & Fearne Cotton sit around drinking different beverages.

Hosted by Keith Lemonade.
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#76 OFFLINE   tup

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 04:12 PM

Mock the Weak.

A testosterone fuelled frenzy, where Jeremy Clarkson roars around in a fast, expensive car taking idle potshots at various minority groups, with a sprinkling of casual racism to boot.

He also gives us a heap of flannel about the car, as if 98% of the f**king country could actually afford one.
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#77 OFFLINE   tightbreeks

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 04:33 PM

Peeping Tom

"Old faced youngster" diver, Tom Daley, runs about the girls changing room at the public pool trying to catch a glimpse of girls in the rick.
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#78 OFFLINE   spamspamspam

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 04:49 PM

countdownsyndrome

As countdown but with 4 letter word maximums, 2 numbers and Susan Boyle doing Carol Vordermanís bit
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Tiger style

#79 OFFLINE   The Boofon

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 04:53 PM

countdownsyndrome

As countdown but with 4 letter word maximums, 2 numbers and Susan Boyle doing Carol Vordermanís bit


Belter. :hysterical:

I know I shouldn't laugh but it's a cracker.
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#80 OFFLINE   rocket_scientist

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 05:03 PM

Belter. :hysterical:

I know I shouldn't laugh but it's a cracker.

It was quite genius, my first out loud laff of the day.
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#81 OFFLINE   tommo1903

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 05:17 PM

Belter. :hysterical:

I know I shouldn't laugh but it's a cracker.


f**k the PC brigade, thats an absolute pearler.

Pat yersel on the back Spam spam spam, genius min.
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#82 OFFLINE   amancalledbuck

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 05:20 PM

I'll have to agree with abdy else, even the Rocketeer.

That's brilliant.
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I hope this one doesn't get deleted.

#83 OFFLINE   tup

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 06:24 PM

Strike it Buckie, late night special.

Michael Barrymore presents highlights of the weekend's Highland League fixtures.
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#84 OFFLINE   Slimfella

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 06:39 PM

Uncle f**k

6 part documentary about Tourette's sufferer Chas Crumble as he looks after his brother's 3 young children after their parents are called away out of town on a family emergency.
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#85 OFFLINE   tup

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 07:09 PM

McKnight Rider.

Former Celtic reserve goalie Allen McKnight cuts about his hometown of Antrim in a souped up Capri with tinted windows, a Capri with a voice and mind of it's own.
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#86 OFFLINE   amancalledbuck

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 07:25 PM

Diff'rent Stokes

A bizarre, some would say nonsensical, romp through life in modern Britain. Glasgow Celtic frontman, and amateur piano player, Antony Stokes pitches up in a different town each week and composes little ditties about the things he sees. Week 1, Stokes visits Stoke.
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I hope this one doesn't get deleted.

#87 OFFLINE   rocket_scientist

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 07:31 PM

Diff'rent Stokes

A bizarre, some would say nonsensical, romp through life in modern Britain. Glasgow Celtic frontman, and amateur piano player, Antony Stokes pitches up in a different town each week and composes little ditties about the things he sees. Week 1, Stokes visits Stoke.



That is good. Quite brilliant in fact and suggestive of a highly functioning imagination.

When Uma Mia said to Vincent "that sounds like you got something to say", the heavy implication was that most don't.

Dat was worth reading. Most posts aren't.


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Ancient Sound, Modern Noise

#88 OFFLINE   The Boofon

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 08:25 PM

Question Tim.

The bead rattling theme continues on BBC1 with the panel assembled to pose their questions to Scott Brown and Charlie Mulgrew.
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#89 OFFLINE   The Boofon

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 08:30 PM

Scott's Port.

Episode 1: Dougray visits some vineyards and samples some of the finest booze available.
Episode 2: The attention turns to some of the busiest shipping and handling bays in South East Asia.
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#90 OFFLINE   The Boofon

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Posted 17 February 2011 - 08:34 PM

Sport seen?

f**k all says Stevie wonder as the worst TV interview on record is broadcast when Parkinson asks this ridiculous question.
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