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How many people will attend your funeral?


Guest milne_afc

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I’m fully expecting a Princess Diana style procession down Union Street with the pavements packed singing who’s that lying at Pittodrie.

 

Probably about 1.

 

In all serious though I can’t handle them, I go to pretty much every one as I feel obliged, can’t handle the walk past when you see everyone in tears. Find it worse seeing someone else’s grief from the family than what I feel remembering somebody.

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Guest milne_afc

Jack Daniels if you please by David Allen Coe during the sandwiches.

 

A round of Jack's will be presented.

 

Whisky for Freebird

 

Jagerbomb on arrival for H2H

 

And a glass of moonshine during Dead or alive.

Christ, I'm almost looking forward to the fateful day.

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Was @@YorkDon doing the Heffner.

 

Only 1 at my funeral.

 

Torry Tossers Mrs.

 

Saw a German movie once, called Schram or something... starts off with this bird at her boyfriend's funeral. Seemingly she gets lonely, so she digs him up, gets him back to her flat, and then fucks him. Rigor mortis supposedly keeping his cock all hard I imagine. 

 

His cock presumably starts to decompose, so she's getting a bit sexually frustrated, so she hits upon a pretty fucking clever idea to be fair to her. 

 

She cuts off her lad's heid in the bath and sticks his heid in the fridge. She then goes to a nightclub and picks up some guy, takes him back to the apartment, starts fucking him, then half way through the project she murders him. She then cuts off the unlucky punter's heid, runs to the fridge, swaps the heids oot, and continues to fuck what is to all intents and purposes her ex lad, albeit in a horribly decomposing condition. 

 

I forget how it ends, but I think it might involve a rabbit... or that might be some other mad German film... I don't remember.

 

...anyway, is that the kind of situation you were envisioning?

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Pounding and Scatman on loop, trays of jaegerbombs forcibly thrown in the direction of everyone there including the humanist and undertakers at the expense of a decent coffin. 2 tails of me supergluing a poof to a toilet seat in cheers and me winning numerous folk handsome amounts due to a colossal performance in Elgin. Haven’t decided on narrator yet. Wake held in g casino. All donations to be put on 24. I would expect a gathering of 86ish.

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Saw a German movie once, called Schram or something... starts off with this bird at her boyfriend's funeral. Seemingly she gets lonely, so she digs him up, gets him back to her flat, and then fucks him. Rigor mortis supposedly keeping his cock all hard I imagine. 

 

His cock presumably starts to decompose, so she's getting a bit sexually frustrated, so she hits upon a pretty fucking clever idea to be fair to her. 

 

She cuts off her lad's heid in the bath and sticks his heid in the fridge. She then goes to a nightclub and picks up some guy, takes him back to the apartment, starts fucking him, then half way through the project she murders him. She then cuts off the unlucky punter's heid, runs to the fridge, swaps the heids oot, and continues to fuck what is to all intents and purposes her ex lad, albeit in a horribly decomposing condition. 

 

I forget how it ends, but I think it might involve a rabbit... or that might be some other mad German film... I don't remember.

 

...anyway, is that the kind of situation you were envisioning?

 

Kinky bitch.

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