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Member Since 05 Aug 2011
OFFLINE Last Active Yesterday, 11:09 PM

#1706141 Strange Places You've Slept/ Woken Up

Posted by alscotoz on 15 December 2018 - 01:49 AM

Northfield church doorway (on Xmas morning) and two seperate lofts.


Were you half cut?

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#1705228 Afc Chat Awards 2018

Posted by alscotoz on 13 December 2018 - 06:14 AM

Sorry Chewie but the shit you come out with is genuinely turgid


  1. 1.
    swollen and distended or congested.
    "a turgid and fast-moving river"
    synonyms: swollencongestedMore
  2. 2.
    (of language or style) tediously pompous or bombastic.
    "some turgid verses on the death of Prince Albert"





    1 or 2? Wouldn't have thought either fitted Chewie. Cunt maybe...but a decent cunt.

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#1702985 What You Drinking Today

Posted by alscotoz on 09 December 2018 - 08:18 AM

"What's that dear? Somebody is blaring Ra-Ra-Rasputin? Oh yeah that will be my mates off the Internet in their limo they're taking to the football to watch Aberdeen play. They've invited me along"

"Aye, eh thought limos were just for pikies and teenage girls who didn't know any better too, apparently it's for men who should know better and are desperate to hang in to their youth, obviously they need me to give them some credibility as eh am the top boy on their site"

"That one there, that's Poodler, aye not sure why he's sucking off the driver either. Maybe it's his way of giving him a tip. He's supposed to be coming down our part of the world next month but can't find any woman who could stand his company that long"

"You want to go home right now? Me too"


Pretty good, Bri.



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#1701232 Mcinnes

Posted by alscotoz on 06 December 2018 - 12:00 PM

DM is under no pressure at all. His 4 2nd places on the trot have ensured the board will allow him one dodgy season where even finishing 8th would have him safely ensconced in the manager's office next season...and I doubt we will finish any worse that 6th, more likely somewhere between 5th and 3rd.


He will come under pressure next season once he has his hands on the training ground if he starts the season as underwhelmingly as we did this one, but even then I don't think Wiggy would bullet him just no offer of a new contract.

 You could have just said 4th?

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#1699816 In The News

Posted by alscotoz on 04 December 2018 - 09:11 AM

I once told a woman she was the most incredibly beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on and her personality was shining through everything she did. Said she had wonderful fashion sense and a magnificent bunch of friends.


When I happened to mention I was a stamp collector she told me to fuck off.


Just goes to prove that Philatery will get you nowhere.



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#1696615 The Boney M Appreciation Thread

Posted by alscotoz on 28 November 2018 - 09:28 AM

I wanna be a member of the society, Poodler. I'm exceited. Just about time to be cracking out one of the festive season's best tunes ever. The costumes are beyond description. Have to say the bloke always looked uncomfortable.


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#1694955 Eu Referendum

Posted by alscotoz on 25 November 2018 - 01:45 AM

Go fuck yourself you sack of shit.


Sage advice. Given for free too. What a selfless gentleman you are, Mr Boof.

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#1693545 What's The Longest Shite You've Ever Done?

Posted by alscotoz on 22 November 2018 - 01:51 PM

In length. Not time.


Should be as interesting a thread as 'What's the fastest you have gone in a car...'

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#1693364 League Reconstruction... Again

Posted by alscotoz on 22 November 2018 - 08:21 AM

Don't know why Scotland needs more than 2 pro leagues. Division One, say 14 teams and division 2, say 16-18 teams. Chance to be promoted into div 2 if you can be bothered making the effort, and div 1 from div 2. What Scotland needs is QUALITY product.












Good luck with that.

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#1693359 Scotland V Albania And Israel

Posted by alscotoz on 22 November 2018 - 08:10 AM

McLeish is (quite rightly) an Aberdeen legend. Can't be taken away. Non-negotiable.

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#1691575 League Cup 18/19

Posted by alscotoz on 18 November 2018 - 08:26 AM

Think it's the 19th


You sure?

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#1689291 Scotland V Albania And Israel

Posted by alscotoz on 12 November 2018 - 08:20 AM

Where's Gordon Greer when you need him?


Boring people with her feminist manifesto...

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#1686981 Let's All Laugh At Celtic.

Posted by alscotoz on 07 November 2018 - 06:46 AM

There's a lawsuit from the victims v Celtic, who claim there is no corporate relationship between the boys club and the club...


They're suing themselves?

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#1685575 Kilmarnock 1 - 2 Aberdeen

Posted by alscotoz on 04 November 2018 - 02:04 PM




The SPFL truly is shite.

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#1680913 Oil Price Victims.

Posted by alscotoz on 25 October 2018 - 09:28 AM


Why I do not reside in NE Scotland anymore.

Distressing, but necessary.
Fucking sick of it, and even more sick of the ill-informed, gullible fuckwit "Scots" who normalise this and keep us under the UK heel guzzling the propaganda of the BBC and UK government owned press as a matter of course.
Haemorrhaging our finances and natural resources to keep little britain afloat, and in return to be treated like shit.

Fucking soul destroying.



Fucking hell min.
Sounds like hell on earth.



and on top of all that having to hear that fucking horrible accent every day. Almost as bad as cockney. Almost.

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