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Member Since 05 Aug 2011
OFFLINE Last Active Today, 09:46 AM

#1727224 What You Drinking Today

Posted by alscotoz on Yesterday, 10:26 AM

Brewdog - Elvis Juice.


Maui - Big Swell IPA


Brewdog - Hazy Jane


Funky Buddha - Hop Gun


Who cares

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#1726643 Eu Referendum

Posted by alscotoz on 21 January 2019 - 01:07 AM

Brexit's been decided, it's happening, all the whiney babies need to accept it.


Have to be pretty brave/stupid to ignore the result? Regardless of your views.

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#1721979 What You Doing Today?

Posted by alscotoz on 13 January 2019 - 08:15 AM

So not a similar dynamic to you and your wife then?


Can't see Bri being either big and butch, or smoking hot tbf.

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#1721920 If You Had To Disappear, How Would You Do It?

Posted by alscotoz on 12 January 2019 - 11:58 PM

get rid of a corpse feed to pigs.
just ask Nat Fraser.
i know hundreds of acres of woodland in cushnie and strathdon where a body will never be found.


That, I can believe.

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#1715039 Second Half Of Season 2018/2019

Posted by alscotoz on 31 December 2018 - 10:43 AM

Can only see tims spend the cash in January and win the league. Sevco will try to keep up appearances, but their cash won't be enough (and hopefully push them further into the shit). Think with a couple of solid signings we can finish second.


Scottish Cup draws being kind, think we will win it. 


Predict tims will not win treble treble.

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#1713682 In The News

Posted by alscotoz on 29 December 2018 - 06:28 AM

Manboobs got interviewed on TV?


Was AK the interpreter? 

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#1712750 Sevco Thread

Posted by alscotoz on 27 December 2018 - 08:46 AM

How old are you though? I think guys in their 60’s and older?


Not that old. I'd ask my old man who is still on the go, but pretty sure he would not give one fuck.

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#1709190 Aberdeen 2 - 0 Hearts

Posted by alscotoz on 20 December 2018 - 11:03 AM

Some. Every club has its delusional fringe. Something is rotten in Hearts just now, can feel it. Injuries is a smoke screen. Although pretty bad. Just dinnae see the effort, few coasting. Either big time charlies think they've arrived or something stinks in the dressing room. Think our Director of Football should start giving the manager a bit of a hard time.


Our first XI still gives me a bit hope and think with right tactics (sigh) would give most teams a hard time, but still work to do:


Bobby (starting to play like a keeper that's been a no.2 his whole career, oh...)


Souttar (the boy is becoming a man under Berra and Levein, getting nasty, like McKenna, good)

Berra (solid, wins more headers / tackles than rest of league's CHs)

Dunne (gets us, great lad, great effort and positioning, can tell he's EPL)


Haring (accidental best signing, CH becomes great MF ball winner and goal threat)

Lee (wow, just fell away, player in there but needs a rollicking, you ain't at Luton now, typically we sign and immediately change his position from last team)

Djoum (world class in his own head, punt end of season)


Smith (his best games starting to be sweeper or RCH, good lad and capable)

Mitchell (shadow of the player last season, our LB curse just goes on and on)


Naisy (10/10 - captain on the park and nailing THEM every opportunity endears)

Uche (headless but an absolute tank, unplayable on his game, but that's 1 in 4)


Think under Budge (punt) we've signed c. 100 players now, and still don't have an XI. She goes on about our youth conveyor belt. When everybody is fit there wouldn't even be a youth product on our bench never mind the first team. Cochrane, McDonald, Morrison doing their bits. But reality is in my lifetime our conveyor belts last decent forward was John Robertson. Since then it's been Glen, Carrick, Currie, Weir, Roy, Elliiot and a host of others who were being groomed for Alloa and Raith's first teams.


Anyway, you don't care, nobody cares. Just me. Happy Christmas to Scotland's 4th or 5th biggest.


I'm sticking with 0-0.



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#1706141 Strange Places You've Slept/ Woken Up

Posted by alscotoz on 15 December 2018 - 01:49 AM

Northfield church doorway (on Xmas morning) and two seperate lofts.


Were you half cut?

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#1705228 Afc Chat Awards 2018

Posted by alscotoz on 13 December 2018 - 06:14 AM

Sorry Chewie but the shit you come out with is genuinely turgid


  1. 1.
    swollen and distended or congested.
    "a turgid and fast-moving river"
    synonyms: swollencongestedMore
  2. 2.
    (of language or style) tediously pompous or bombastic.
    "some turgid verses on the death of Prince Albert"





    1 or 2? Wouldn't have thought either fitted Chewie. Cunt maybe...but a decent cunt.

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#1702985 What You Drinking Today

Posted by alscotoz on 09 December 2018 - 08:18 AM

"What's that dear? Somebody is blaring Ra-Ra-Rasputin? Oh yeah that will be my mates off the Internet in their limo they're taking to the football to watch Aberdeen play. They've invited me along"

"Aye, eh thought limos were just for pikies and teenage girls who didn't know any better too, apparently it's for men who should know better and are desperate to hang in to their youth, obviously they need me to give them some credibility as eh am the top boy on their site"

"That one there, that's Poodler, aye not sure why he's sucking off the driver either. Maybe it's his way of giving him a tip. He's supposed to be coming down our part of the world next month but can't find any woman who could stand his company that long"

"You want to go home right now? Me too"


Pretty good, Bri.



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#1701232 Mcinnes

Posted by alscotoz on 06 December 2018 - 12:00 PM

DM is under no pressure at all. His 4 2nd places on the trot have ensured the board will allow him one dodgy season where even finishing 8th would have him safely ensconced in the manager's office next season...and I doubt we will finish any worse that 6th, more likely somewhere between 5th and 3rd.


He will come under pressure next season once he has his hands on the training ground if he starts the season as underwhelmingly as we did this one, but even then I don't think Wiggy would bullet him just no offer of a new contract.

 You could have just said 4th?

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#1699816 In The News

Posted by alscotoz on 04 December 2018 - 09:11 AM

I once told a woman she was the most incredibly beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on and her personality was shining through everything she did. Said she had wonderful fashion sense and a magnificent bunch of friends.


When I happened to mention I was a stamp collector she told me to fuck off.


Just goes to prove that Philatery will get you nowhere.



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#1696615 The Boney M Appreciation Thread

Posted by alscotoz on 28 November 2018 - 09:28 AM

I wanna be a member of the society, Poodler. I'm exceited. Just about time to be cracking out one of the festive season's best tunes ever. The costumes are beyond description. Have to say the bloke always looked uncomfortable.


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#1694955 Eu Referendum

Posted by alscotoz on 25 November 2018 - 01:45 AM

Go fuck yourself you sack of shit.


Sage advice. Given for free too. What a selfless gentleman you are, Mr Boof.

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