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Hewitt a the pies

Member Since 08 May 2014
OFFLINE Last Active Today, 07:52 AM
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#1759060 Telly Programmes That Haven't Been Made Yet

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 04 April 2019 - 09:38 AM

Exocet Shephard

 

Contestants have to give 10 correct answers in 3 seconds to 10 questions on subjects they have absolutely no knowledge on to save faggot presenter Ben Shephard from being launched out of a torpedo tube into a heavily populated area.

If in the highly un-lightly event that a contestant miraculously gets them all right in the 3 seconds then we move into the first round proper where cackpipe cosmonaut Shephard has to disarm a 15 megaton nuclear device situated adjacent to one of Londons largest Gay bars with his hands tied behind his back.


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#1756595 Favourite Funcy Piece

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 28 March 2019 - 09:20 AM

Tuckshop? Public school boy? In the 70s?

 

School dinners. State school. Bloody decent too. Or maybe I'm looking through rose coloured spectacles? Na. They were bloody decent.

Northfield Academy public school?  :violent:  Chocolate doughrings and mince braddies. Top nosh.


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#1754111 How Petty Are You?

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 21 March 2019 - 07:27 AM

On the basketball court maybe.

You'll be getting bounced up and down like a basketball in a minute you wee prick.

Yet another double entendre Dad!! Good work keeping the act going! 


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#1753797 How Petty Are You?

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 20 March 2019 - 08:49 AM

The arsehole I have to sit next to at work has OCD and spends most of his day straightening and re-arranging everything he sees.

I'm first in the office every day and I make it my first task is to go round everything he's straightened and knock it all squint again including his keyboard, screen and his butter tub in the fridge.

I win.


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#1753545 Over Rated Artists/bands

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 19 March 2019 - 02:39 PM

George Fuckin Ezra!


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#1753538 Where Would You Live And Why?

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 19 March 2019 - 02:05 PM

I was a teenage armchair Honved fan.

Loved Wheatus.


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#1753491 Connor Mclennan

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 19 March 2019 - 12:14 PM

You must know what I mean

Either runs the ball out for a throw or runs right into a cul se sac very very often

I know exactly what you mean and If he's not doing that he's bursting into space to receive a well weighted pass before coolly passing the ball passed a barely human goalkeeper into the net in front of 40,000 weegie mutants to close out what was our best win of the season. Yeah I see what you mean! Gimp!


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#1753482 Where Would You Live And Why?

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 19 March 2019 - 12:04 PM

Westhill. Easy walk to Kingsford.


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#1750878 Hun Cunts 0 - 2 Aberdeen (Replay)

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 13 March 2019 - 07:58 AM

Cringe

After a great result like that this is all you can contribute? Dear oh dear!


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#1746973 Mcinnes

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 04 March 2019 - 08:23 AM

McInnes got it spot on today. Set up perfect.

Why would anyone -1 this? 

It's fair enough to criticise him when things aren't going so well but equally you have to give him credit when he gets it right. Yesterday he was spot on.


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#1744566 Let's All Laugh At Celtic.

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 27 February 2019 - 06:22 PM

Missed this earlier, sorry: it is another superhero/Marvel CGI crapfest, but with a lot of very self-referential jokes packed in and silly moments. Worth it for the laughs alone.

I give it 9/11. That's my own scoring system based on 1990s pop bands, Porches, the 9th of November and no other cultural references that I can think of.


911 pages now on Sevco thread!
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#1744155 Tv Series

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 26 February 2019 - 02:54 PM

Started watching the latest series of Baptiste and was thinking the lead female Talisa Garcia would be worth a rattle till it turned out her character was transgender! If that wasn't bad enough  Mrs Hewitt a the pies told me she's transgender in real life too.(Talisa nae Mrs H) Cowk!


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#1743984 Aberdeen 0 - 2 Hamilton

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 26 February 2019 - 08:26 AM

Prefer C3PO

I'd heard it was DVDA!  ;)


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#1743755 Aberdeen 0 - 2 Hamilton

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 25 February 2019 - 12:56 PM

Aye?

What was the score last time we played them, Albert?

1-0 to us. You can google it like!


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#1739758 Latest Purchase Thread

Posted by Hewitt a the pies on 15 February 2019 - 12:14 PM

Anyone know if Dead Dad had any slippers? Mine are a bit tattie these days.


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