Jump to content

What Are You Having For Your Lunch?


tup

Recommended Posts


Tomato soup, ten tins of. Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold. Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of. Magnesia, milk of, one bottle. Paracetamol, mouthwash, vitamins. Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography. One mattress. One bucket for urine, one for feces and one for vomitus.

Link to comment

I just had a bowl of Minestrone that the wife just made. I had an obligation to inform because you have an overwhelming need to know this.

 

I accompanied it with a a glass of cold tap water, a glass that would have contained nearer a pint than a half pint, and probably in between.

 

After a cup of tea and a Regal king size, I will decide whether to have a sandwich (with fresh bread and pork or ham) or a torte frutti.

 

The tart is from Asda, the remaining one needs to be eaten by today and contains blueberry, kiwi, mandarin, pineapple and strawberry.

 

As a lunch thread may appear to be innocuous, factual, vacuous and boring, allow me to inject a point of discussion.

 

Not exactly discussion, as these are incontestable points of fact rather than anything that can possibly be debated but here goes: -

 

People who eat crisps and people who drink those pre-made milk-based shite drinks are stupid or are faggots, possibly both.

 

As you were. Bon Appetit.

 

I hope you are not throwing me in that bracket because of my Starburst milkshake good sir...

Link to comment

There is one rule for which there are no exceptions however: -

 

Persons buying diet coke or similar aspartame-ridden products are, in fact, hugely stupid. They generally deny being addicted to this poison.

 

Yes. Now you're speaking my language.

 

Anyone drinking diet anything (usually fat heifers it has to be said) needs to question their motivation.

 

Same with margarine, or 'alien spread' as I've trained my kids to call it. Lab made shite.

 

Canna possibly be good for you, yet is sold as such. The mother of all swindles.

 

Taking advantage of the fat and criminally stupid element of the population, which appears to be sizeable.

 

However you canna beat a well chilled tin of normal Coke, lethal is not the word.

Link to comment

My full fat Fanta has aspartame in it, I suspect coke will too.

 

In saying that I'm happy to be hugely stupid! :laughing:

 

Na, it disna, rest assured. Nor does Irn-Bru.

 

Fanta is for homos to be frank.

 

You may be delighted to be thick, but aspartame disna increase your stupidity. It poisons you.

 

So you might end up stupid and poisoned. Not a good combination.

Link to comment

I have no idea what a starburst milkshake is, what it contains, what its packaged in etc., nor do I have any knowledge of your intelligence levels nor sexual orientation but rest assured that there are exceptions to every rule.

 

Sounds pretty stupid to me to pay (probably exorbitant) money for shite when water is free though.

 

There is one rule for which there are no exceptions however: -

 

Persons buying diet coke or similar aspartame-ridden products are, in fact, hugely stupid. They generally deny being addicted to this poison.

 

This product certainly would not fall in the diet category, 23% of my daily sugar allowance in my 200ml serving but only 144kcal.

As for the cost i couldn't say, probably a quid. Took it for a change to the free coffee at work, didnt work though still had 4 cups so far today.

Link to comment

The ultimate gay fizzy drink is Dr Pepper.

 

I canna believe shops in the UK can even sell one tin of that vile pish.

 

Obviously there's a market for it.

 

Maybe a fizzy drink made from extract of purrs and sticky willies would sell like hotcakes, especially if dogs have pished on them first to give them added flavour.

Link to comment

Coffee is another addiction but if you need to be addicted to something, at least get the real stuff. Instant and canteen coffee is evil, not even pleasant for the imbiber but feeds the habit and hits the scab that requires to be itched.

 

 

Our coffee machine claims to be an all sing and dancing ground coffee maker. I must admit that it is very good, considering its free.

Especially with my freshly rolled Amber Leaf roll up on my break. Blue Rizzla's i may add, why i dont know...

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...