Working Part Time

[The Boofon]

Or folk who make enough money with their own business that they dont have to work full time?

They should be working harder to avoid part time work IMO.

[dave_min]

Look at us in general.

 

Working full time all yer days. Most likely on an inflated oil related wage.

 

I've next to fuck all to show for it and my most prized possession is a plectrum thrown by Pantera's Dimebag in 1992 which I leapt like a salmon and caught.

 

Are we happy?

 

We're all just sucked into the grind.

Aye, but at least it's Friday.

[Poodler]

At this point in time I'm probably working a solid 5 hours in a week if things get hectic. I'm not even sure as to the quality of those 5 hours either.

 

Fuck all this 'extra jobs' malarky.

 

Do you tithe, CS? You seem mental enough to be doing that... and I'd strongly recommend not doing that. Tell your church to go fuck itself, it has way enough cash without leeching 10% of your income. Actually, telling your church to go fuck itself in all aspects, not just the stealing your money portion, would be a brilliant idea for you.

 

Have you considered starting your own religion as a means to generate extra income?

 

All you'd need is ten bampots on a similar wage to yourself to tithe you 10% of their income and, Squibblydibblydee... or whatever your religion's magic word is... you're suddenly generating your previous average income but... get this... you're not paying a penny in taxes. Fuckin' JACKPOT! Am I right?

 

AND, CS, AND... you could have a rule in your religion where you get to shag all the women who follow your religion, like thon David Koresh did. He was a character.

 

I'm having lots of ideas here, CS... Let me come up with a plan for you.

 

This might only apply if you're okay with moving to England or wales, btw... but links WILL be supplied to make this easier for you... buckle the fuck up!

 

Go online and get yourself registered as a priest or shaman or witch doctor... Do that here. People will know you're a real druid because the website has a dove on the banner. That's quite religious, a dove.

 

Next, make a vocal and public denouncement of the Universal Life Church... accuse them of being pedos or something (chances are they are anyway)... and announce your intent to start your own splinter sect of the ULC, you can have a lot of fun figuring out a name for your breakaway sect.

 

Now, just steaming in and applying to the charities commission to be recognised as a religion will lkely see you get told to fuck off, just like you told the Vatican to fuck off earlier in this plan... what you need to do is get a foot in the door, so to speak. But there has to be a way to do that, right? I mean, there are 47,000 registered religious groups in the UK, a number which is wholly subjective and, indeed, doubly so when you considered I made that number up, but I'll bet I'm not far off.

 

To get your foot in the religious door I'd suggest being a bit sly, apply to the Charities Commission for a recognised place of worship where you can perform shamanic ritual like weddings and... depending on the way you want your new superstition to go... maybe human sacrifice. You'll need to fill out form 78 for that. You can get it here. I'd advise a fella like yourself to just completely avoid form 78A... you'll just upset yourself.

 

Print form 78 off, fill it out, get it sent.

 

Foot firmly in the door.

 

After that you'll need to get some acolytes, disciples, or 'believers' if you will. I'd reckon the best place to fill the ranks of your new religion would be to target the emotionally and mentally vulnerable... so maybe get some flyers sent to women's shelters, mental institutions, and prisons. Think carefully about the prisons, though... you'll likely get some bad 'uns joining, more concerned with robbing you, bumming you, then fucking off with the collection plate and your best sister-wife...

 

Don't be scared to use shameless mental abuse to terrorise the vulnerable into signing up for your cult... let's be honest, no established religion ever shirked from doing that, so why should you?

 

As your following grows don't be shy about having them sign over ever more of their income and possessions to you. And, when you feel the time is right, apply once again to the Charities Commission, but this time as full on, bona fide religious corporation.

 

Now they don't make this shit easy or obvious, because they don't want any old cunt coming along and starting up a religion... no... you need to be serious about these religious shenanigans, like the Jedis were when they tried to become a recognised religion. But even they were unsuccessful.

 

You, however, are already registered as having a place of worship, marriage, and human sacrifice from earlier in the plan, so don't worry. Your foot's in the door.

 

You'll need to register as a charity, weirdly, satisfying the provisions Section 2(2)© of the Charities Act 2006 (2011), where you'll have to meet certain religious requirements.

 

• Belief in a god or gods, goddess or goddesses, supreme being or divine or transcendental being or entity or spiritual principle which is the object or focus of the religion
• A relationship between the believer nd supreme being or entity by showing worship of reverence or veneration of the supreme being or entity
• a degree of cogency cohesion seriousness and importance
• An identifiable positive beneficial moral or ethical framework

Just lie if you have to, no cunt is ever going to check... and how do they prove your god doesn't exist anyway? Just keep a straight face, pay the postage, and Tarafaloo! (I'm trying to think up a sweet religious word for your new cult here... kinda like Amen, but better)... and Tarafaloo! you're a fucking religion!

 

Next, you're going to need a compound where you can keep all your heid-the-ba religious converts... somewhere with a high perimeter wall so they can't wander off, and with big rooms where you can stick in bunk beds, a communal kitchen, and a sex dungeon where you can keep all the mental case women full of your holy jizzums.

 

You'll need a builder for that. Probably Balfour Beatty, Britain's premier building company.

 

Or, if things like aesthetics are not your thing... here.

 

Soon you'll be rolling in the moneys, so you'll need one of these... here

 

And, when it comes time to skip the country you'll want to tie up all the loose ends at your compound/centre of spiritual awakening/sex dungeon before you uber it to the airport... couple or three ideas for you here, here, and here.

 

Is it a perfect plan?

 

No.

 

And I think that's what I like about it.

Cracking post. You've worked 6 hours this week.

 

Time for a vacation

[Bobby Connor]

All I can say is thank fuck its Friday and I can get a lay in tomorrow.

 

If you are part time between the ages of 21 and 60 youve either made your millions or are lazy as fuck.

 

Kelt, you are a lazy cunt mate.

 

Ive been working 12 hours a day for the best part of a month. Web designer by day and painter and decorator by night ( we got a new office and it had wood chip wallpaper). Its called a work ethic. You dont live in fucking Spain!

[manboobs109]

^ na fuck that work ethic shit man. Total mugs game. Wanking away your life earning dough for somecunt else, fuck that

[Bobby Connor]

Ach aye - but it's nice to work yourself harder than a poor wee donkey in Ethiopia or wherever, and then be told you're terrific by your customers and colleagues imo.

 

I enjoy being on the edge of stress pretty much all the time - makes me feel validated.

 

Then in my own free time - I spend most of it trying to relieve the knot of stress, deep rooted at the base of my neck. Blacked out for a bit last night stretching I was so tightly wound. Like being on drugs, without the illegality and expense.

 

Terrific.

Basically this.

 

Im in a business partnership and folk think it must be great having no boss but all of our clients are basically our bosses.

 

It can be stressful as fuck when you are approaching the end of the month and cunts havent paid you.

 

Wouldnt have it any other way though.

[Bobby Connor]

Im fucking working the now so Monday will be less stressful!

 

Gonna try and be strict with myself and stay away from the office tomorrow.

 

Its either this or mow the lawn and the lawn can wait.

[Bobby Connor]

I leave the smiling and being professional part to my business partner. People seem to like him. If I could just do my job without having to have clients I would be delighted but they are a necessary evil.

 

He seems to like them but hes off next week so Ill be in full charm offensive mode.

[Dom Sullivan]

I leave the smiling and being professional part to my business partner. People seem to like him. If I could just do my job without having to have clients I would be delighted but they are a necessary evil.

He seems to like them but hes off next week so Ill be in full charm offensive mode.

Haha, see our clients have nae choice as at FMA there's nae a nice half - we're baith a pair of grumpy cunts.

[Bobby Connor]

Hehe! Yeah you are a pair of grumpy cunts. I am a grumpy cunt but thank fuck I work with a cunt who is not a grumpy cunt.

 

The amount of effort he goes to to keep our clients happy boggles my mind but that’s why the cunt got the gig in the first place:

 

Long winded emails with platitudes.... Mine are just like “Job Done, Invoice will be over shortly”.

[Chewie37]

I probably only work 100 hours a year

On AFC Chat the rest?

 

Edit; with yer knob oot?

[mcdougall(4)]

prince worked part time in a 5 and dime

 

he did okay

 

especially with a lady in a hat

[mcdougall(4)]

Cunts not paying is a cunt, and you still have to go in and work with them and smile and be professional, when inside, you're like 'Nigga you owe me candy, get to the bank mufucka'.

 

Wouldn't have it any other way though.

 

I used to work for myself - the not getting paid on time, chasing invoices, feeling disrespected, not doing the actual work you want to do - which is why you go it alone in the first place just made me go fuck it

 

Back in the corporate game now - not as much fun but least its solid

[Bobby Connor]

On AFC Chat the rest?

Edit; with yer knob oot?

I did get a bit of work done today but to be honest I spent half of my time on here posting shite and checking out the hot tourists through the window.

 

Knob was in my jeans throughout.

[Chewie37]

I did get a bit of work done today but to be honest I spent half of my time on here posting shite and checking out the hot tourists through the window.

Knob was in my jeans throughout.

I will believe you......many female tourists may not

[Bobby Connor]

I used to work for myself - the not getting paid on time, chasing invoices, feeling disrespected, not doing the actual work you want to do - which is why you go it alone in the first place just made me go fuck it

 

Back in the corporate game now - not as much fun but least its solid

 

I got back onto a salary for a few years just because it seemed like a much easier option.

 

Tax all taken care of. Guaranteed income. Forget about work when you get home...

 

I couldn’t stand having any cunt telling me what to do though so for all that I will never have a boss again.

[mcdougall(4)]

I got back onto a salary for a few years just because it seemed like a much easier option.

 

Tax all taken care of. Guaranteed income. Forget about work when you get home...

 

I couldn’t stand having any cunt telling me what to do though so for all that I will never have a boss again.

 

I'm not an anti boss guy, had some good ones and some not so good.

For me it comes doing to doing the work you want to do, as opposed to dong shite work that someone else has dictated you do, when employed.

When self employed you can pick and choose your work better but you then end up doing things you don't want to - admin, credit control, accounts etc.

 

I'd also say that when employed, the hooter goes (as it were) and you go home, when working for yourself you do more hours, cos you are invested...

[Bobby Connor]

No bus

No boss

No rain

No train

Be good to yourself.

Moz kens.

https://youtu.be/1rmAi9XmlIo

That’s fantastic. First time I’ve seen it.

[HairyPie]

prince worked part time in a 5 and dime

 

he did okay

 

especially with a lady in a hat

 

His boss's name was Mr. McVeigh

[BrianFaePerth]

 

His boss's name was Mr. McVeigh

Who then went postal in Oklahoma. Understandable really.

[Arabian Knight]

Back in the corporate game now - not as much fun but least its solid

Aye yer a big player in the admin gemme, ye goat wan eh they microsaft office certificates oan yer wa

[The Boofon]

Aye yer a big player in the admin gemme, ye goat wan eh they microsaft office certificates oan yer wa

Word up. ?

[Bobby Connor]

Word up. ?

Its the tall word. No matter where you say it you know that youll be heard.

 

Wouldnt mind seeing Arabian Knight translate that into Dundonian.

[mcdougall(4)]

 

His boss's name was Mr. McVeigh

 

No, but I can appreciate no one here wanting to say the name...

[Chewie37]

Its the tall word. No matter where you say it you know that youll be heard.

Wouldnt mind seeing Arabian Knight translate that into Dundonian.

You’ll be waiting a while, tough enough for him thinking how to post like that in the first place

[Chewie37]

I was reading an interview there with Joey Barton from a few years back and he's a huge Smiths fan. He got invited to meet Moz backstage and they still send each other the occasional email.

A match made in heaven

[Ke1t]

I've never liked the idea of working for some cunt and earning them a shit ton of money for my effort while I get a pittance. Did it when I worked in Scotland and it was shite. Company I worked for was all about the "We've done AMAZINGLY well this fiscal year, and here's how many millions we've made thanks to YOU! Also, raises this year will be below current inflation... because fuck you."

 

Periodically a director would swan about the office in his expensive suit and Italian shoes, just to show face, then it would be into his top of the line Beamer to go play golf on MY fucking effort. Meanwhile I'm working 60 hours a fucking week because the cunts operate on a principle of underpaying and understaffing.

 

"Things are tight."

 

Only fucking thing that's fucking tight is your fucking belt you fucking fucking cunt.

 

Fuck all that.

 

I applaud, but can't understand, anyone who has the patience/fortitude to go work 9 to 5 for some prick who does nothing but look down on you and pay you as little as he/she possibly can.

 

I'm enraged just fucking thinking about it.

[Bobby Connor]

Not much more satisfying than having a cunt of a boss and then going it alone.

 

I sometimes wonder if Im doing this for my own benefit or to fuck him over and leave him in poverty, floating in a life raft on the North Sea. Fuckin prick.

[Ke1t]

Not much more satisfying than having a cunt of a boss and then going it alone.

 

I sometimes wonder if Im doing this for my own benefit or to fuck him over and leave him in poverty, floating in a life raft on the North Sea. Fuckin prick.

It's probably both. I never did anything with the intention of fucking anyone over, it's always been because I have a pathological hatred of authority and those who think they're in a position of authority.

 

If anything those who actually believe themselves to be in a position of minor authority grip my tits worse than those who are in positions of authority. The cunt who's in charge of the stationary cupboard... "Well, whit dae ye need a notepad fur?" Just fucking hand me a fucking notepad you insipid, feckless, hopeless fucking retard. Just because you've the key to the stationary cupboard doesn't mean you need to know my business. CUNT!

 

The kinds of cunts who, if they were handed a uniform, would immediately ascend to a position of almost godlike authority over all those other fuckers who aren't wearing a uniform. Even getting handed a fucking Hi-Vis bib transforms some people into King Fuck of Shit Mountain (in their own minds). Waiters are a great example of cunts who think a penguin-jacket and bow tie makes them Lord Lucan. Just get me my fucking chips and stop sneering like you dinna eat fucking Hot Pockets.

 

So... anyway... I think there's a certain mindset that, even subconsciously, rails against slaving like a darkie for the benefit of others while you get a percentage of the value of your own labour and are meant to be grateful to the cunt profiting off you for letting you share in the profit YOU generated.

[Chewie37]

^used to bug me in my place that cunts would come in and treat the waiting staff like shit and moan about everything to them and then when they leave and speak to the owner....”oh everything was great, you’ve done a great job” just fuck off with your superiority complex. I did enjoy taking their money though