The Seagull Appreciation Society

[Bobby Connor]

I ken that most people think of them as flying rats.

 

I could not disagree more.

 

Seagulls are fucking amazing.

 

Your seagull can survive in pretty much any environment based purely on its intelligence, adaptability and sheer fucking audacity.

 

Out at sea or scrounging or stealing food. Nae bother to a seagull. Working class heroes.

 

Your swan on the other hand is a pompous looking cunt.

[Zeus]

They are arseholes.

 

Especially just now.

[manboobs109]

I fucking hate swans. The cunts killed all the goslings in the pond down my way. Shite all over the place as well, the Queen should get fined.

[Poodler]

I don't mind seagulls. Just trying to make their way in this life. Doing whatever they want. PG's of the bird world, really.

[reekie_dock]

My old springer spaniel killed one in Lossie school park years ago.

 

Swans are gay

[RAZOR]

My old springer spaniel killed one in Lossie school park years ago.

 

Swans are gay

@Queen

[Bobby Connor]

I bought a Bratwurst from the hut beside Marks & Spencers... 2 mins after buying a fucking sky rat jumped on my shoulder and swooped it out my hand.

 

Little cunt burnt it's throat. I laughed and got another (free) bratwurst from the wifey who witnessed it.

Thats where we differ. I went for a couple of cheeseburgers down Ness High St McDonalds and this seagull stalked me down to right outside of M&S (true) and took one straight from my hand. I wasnt pissed off, I was actually pretty impressed with his acrobatics and grateful that he saved me from myself.

[BillyStarkDivinHeeder]

Magnificent creatures. Section Y regulars.

[Reed or deed]

Shitehawks, parasites of this world, living off of other people.

Bit like bankers and estate agents.

 

Cuntoids.

[King Street Loon]

I threw chips onto the road outside the old Chalmers the Bakers on Dod Street.

A seagull swooped down to eat the chips and a number 17 ran over it and caved it's head in as the seagull was enjoying the feast.

Oh how we laughed.

 

Wasn't unlike this.

[Arabian Knight]

Yer shown yersel in a bad light toasting animal cruelty, pare show fae ye there

[Reed or deed]

I threw chips onto the road outside the old Chalmers the Bakers on Dod Street.

A seagull swooped down to eat the chips and a number 17 ran over it and caved it's head in as the seagull was enjoying the feast.

Oh how we laughed.

 

Wasn't unlike this.

It was unlike that, cos that ones got a caved in left shoulder. Nae it's heed.

[tightbreeks]

A wifey on lower granton road (embra) feeds them.

 

Ok, so the road runs along the sea front, but don't encourage them inland.

 

Maybe seagulls a mile inland should be fair game, they can be as noisy as in the morning as far up as the top of Easter road. Less food for them to scavenge will obviously be the answer. I don't blame them, who could resist a dropped donner.

[tightbreeks]

I also find it quietly amusing that cantona's press conference when he returned after his jet li impression, still baffles the English pundits.

 

It's quite obvious what he is saying.

[Ke1t]

Used to have seagulls ripping the shit out of the rubbish bags outside my flat. You'd come home to the pavement and road strewn with all manner of stinking shit that you then had to clean up after the fucking things.

 

One day I get home early, and the scaffies haven't been yet. There's about a dozen seagulls having a bit of a dinner party in the remains of what looked to five or six black bags.

 

I accelerated the motor right into the fuckers... it was glorious.

 

A couple had to be put out of their misery, which I was delighted to do for them... because I'm a kind-hearted soul who hates to see animals suffer.

 

The lassie who was watching all this from the other side of the street didn't seem to appreciate my humanitarian gesture, though.

[Bobby Connor]

Used to have seagulls ripping the shit out of the rubbish bags outside my flat. You'd come home to the pavement and road strewn with all manner of stinking shit that you then had to clean up after the fucking things.

 

One day I get home early, and the scaffies haven't been yet. There's about a dozen seagulls having a bit of a dinner party in the remains of what looked to five or six black bags.

 

I accelerated the motor right into the fuckers... it was glorious.

 

A couple had to be put out of their misery, which I was delighted to do for them... because I'm a kind-hearted soul who hates to see animals suffer.

 

The lassie who was watching all this from the other side of the street didn't seem to appreciate my humanitarian gesture, though.

Hope you arent a Buddhist because youll be coming back as a cunt once again if thats yer crack.

[Ke1t]

Hope you arent a Buddhist because youll be coming back as a cunt once again if thats yer crack.

 

Not religious, but I'd cheerfully smash my motor into any denomination I found throwing the contents of my garbage bags around the streets every collection day for two years.

 

Including Buddhists.

 

Maybe even especially Buddhists.

[Bobby Connor]

I also find it quietly amusing that cantona's press conference when he returned after his jet li impression, still baffles the English pundits.

 

It's quite obvious what he is saying.

Yeah, I remember wondering what all the confusion was about.

[Bobby Connor]

 

Not religious, but I'd cheerfully smash my motor into any denomination I found throwing the contents of my garbage bags around the streets every collection day for two years.

 

Including Buddhists.

 

Maybe even especially Buddhists.

Dont over-fill your bin or leave the lid up. Its nae difficult to keep a seagull from getting into your bins, unless you leave it overflowing with all manner of takeaways.

 

I mean, the main clue is the lid on the top that encloses the waste into a Seagull proof container.

 

You fucked up and then you took revenge but it was really all your own fault and you should hang your head in shame min.

[Bebo]

Nah. He was one of the worst posters ever to grace The Hat.

[dazzy_deff]

Nah. He was one of the worst posters ever to grace The Hat.

You were his pal.

[Ke1t]

Dont over-fill your bin or leave the lid up. Its nae difficult to keep a seagull from getting into your bins, unless you leave it overflowing with all manner of takeaways.

 

I mean, the main clue is the lid on the top that encloses the waste into a Seagull proof container.

 

You fucked up and then you took revenge but it was really all your own fault and you should hang your head in shame min.

 

I was in flats at the time, and shortly after moving in had purchased a Wheelie Bin of sorts... the kind with the fixed flip-lid that can't be appropriated by drunken cunts as a shield or frisbee. Big enough for a black bag or two.

 

Unfortunately not all the neighbours thought it was a good idea, and seemed quite taken by the notion that they were feeding the seagulls, and presumably didn't mind having the contents of their garbage bags strewn over a hundred yard radius.

 

In my defence, murder is never my first option... but it's always an option.

[Bebo]

You were his pal.

 

Knew him once upon a time but never enough to call a pal.

[Poodler]

Bebo min I thought you were older than you seem to be, judging from the above exchange

 

 

Policing this place is a big responsibility for someone so young

[Bobby Connor]

 

I was in flats at the time, and shortly after moving in had purchased a Wheelie Bin of sorts... the kind with the fixed flip-lid that can't be appropriated by drunken cunts as a shield or frisbee. Big enough for a black bag or two.

 

Unfortunately not all the neighbours thought it was a good idea, and seemed quite taken by the notion that they were feeding the seagulls, and presumably didn't mind having the contents of their garbage bags strewn over a hundred yard radius.

 

In my defence, murder is never my first option... but it's always an option.

Its never an option for a Buddhist but seeing as you arent one. Fair enough.

[Bebo]

Bebo min I thought you were older than you seem to be, judging from the above exchange

 

 

Policing this place is a big responsibility for someone so young

 

 

Wasn't my fault NN and Bobby fucked off and left me to look after the asylum!

[dave_min]

Did anybody ever manage to blow one up with bread and baking soda? Tried unsuccessfully many times in my youth.

[Redforever86]

Wee cunts. Got a half an ice cream off me doon the beach once. Used the classic one cunt fae the front who I tried to boot. Then another swooped in fae behind.

 

Had two chicks nesting on my parents roof. Noisy little cunts. Fell aff and got mauled by a cat after it plucked up the courage after a few days. I wasnt sad to see them succumb to the next rung of the food chain.

[dave_min]

Wasn't my fault NN and Bobby fucked off and left me to look after the asylum!

Or was it? I notice that now you're in control they're unable to come on here to defend themselves.

[Bebo]

Or was it? I notice that now you're in control they're unable to come on here to defend themselves.

 

 

Bobby literally started this thread today. Conspiracy doesn't match up?