Redforever86 Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 Not that fuckin skint then. We're you a trustafarian?Fit? Worked two part time jobs while at uni. Link to comment
Torry Tosser Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 I once woke up in a hotel in Berlin with a right hard on,it wouldna go away,so I had to miss going doon for breakfast...Must have been something they wash the sheets in over there. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 Why does wank not start with a v there Hans? Link to comment
ddia Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. 1 Link to comment
Poodler Posted August 21, 2019 Author Share Posted August 21, 2019 Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. HAHAHAHA Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.Tell the one about sucking the paki's cock Link to comment
alscotoz Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying.Legendary status achieved if you’d stopped there and not added the kebab bit. Link to comment
Durrant Dived Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Tell the one about sucking the paki's cockhahaha gads Link to comment
shut up meg Posted August 25, 2019 Share Posted August 25, 2019 Throw a girl out of my bedroom when she was naked. Found her trying to steal money from my wallet while I was in bathroom shaving an eyebrow off. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Went to Dublin for a long weekend stag-do. Did not leave my room all the time I was there apart from going for a kebab. Heebie Jeebies. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Came back to hotel after a day's work. Cleaner was in room doing her duties. She helped undress me, ran a bath and washed me. No sexual intercourse took place, no money changed hands and she did not make me ejaculate despite me being fully erect for duration. True story, I've nothing to gain by lying. Did anything happen when you holidayed in Cuba? Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Naked sleepwalking in Olomouc wishing a couple a good morning in the lift at 6am standing bollock naked demanding a towel and my room number. Allegedly shitting under a pool table, passing out with my suit trousers round my ankles, puking up in a bucket at the main door in front of one of the Saturdays then waking up next morning in bed in my pals room with a bird Id never met. Getting woken up by Reekie and another pal in a hotel in Inverness, finding out i’d Grand Slammed (pissed myself, shat on the floor and spewed my ringer). Then found the missing gram of cocaine I thought my pal had stolen in my spare shoes. A happy ending. Reekies stagger last October too ridiculous a story to tell. @@ebbeNever mention it eh? Link to comment
The Boofon Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Never mention it eh?Allegedly as I said previously. Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Still mentioned it though, which you 'never' do Link to comment
The Boofon Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Still mentioned it though, which you 'never' doOk. Mentioned it once. Link to comment
Studebaker-90 Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Ok. Mentioned it once. But I think I got away with it and I don’t agree with that in the work place Link to comment
The Boofon Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 But I think I got away with it and I don’t agree with that in the work placeHaha. Link to comment
tightbreeks Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Our hotel in nyc during hurricane sandy was the only one with the lights on, coz it had its on generator. I let this girl stay the night, out of a desperate situation, a surprising bonus appears. It was like a refugee camp, but 1st world style, telly, coffee, water. Link to comment
reekie_dock Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Hooker back to room in Vegas my four mates all went through her I went last as I was to interested in the high quality cocaine I had acquired from nice athletic gentleman. Couple failed attempts at thumbing in a semi just ended up spooning her and telling how her coco skin was so soft. Pissed myself in Galway on night of my engagement wife not to happy about it understandably. Dons to blame skelping Dundee that night which I also made her watch in the bar the whole bar was cheering by end oh game apparently I don’t mine much. Shat myself in a bnb in Cherbourg after drinking bottle oh whiskey in some dodgy French nightclub. Did a runner back to the ferry port without squaring up the bill. French Cunts 2 Link to comment
tightbreeks Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Spooning is the best, coz your lying down and its doggy, so your lid hits the spot inside her, plus you can smack her ass, poke her bum or smack her tits. Link to comment
tightbreeks Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 You can feel your cock when your fingers up the bum. Girls like that, they are liars if they say they aren't. Link to comment
Poodler Posted January 7, 2020 Author Share Posted January 7, 2020 You can feel your cock when your fingers up the bum. Girls like that, they are liars if they say they aren't. Preach it! Link to comment
tightbreeks Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 I always wash my cock once she's come after anal. If you have an en-suite, it does make life easier. Link to comment
maryhilldon Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Down for work in Eastbourne. Opened the room door on arrival and was greeted with a really strong smell of pish. Went down to reception to complain and was given another room for the same price. This new room was about 2m square bigger as well. Win win. Go me. And only had a faint whiff of pishJust walk into your room, pish in the corner, complain and get an upgrade. Easy. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Down for work in Eastbourne. Opened the room door on arrival and was greeted with a really strong smell of pish. Went down to reception to complain and was given another room for the same price. This new room was about 2m square bigger as well. Win win. Go me. And only had a faint whiff of pishPretty disappointing favourite hotel story you have there. Link to comment
tightbreeks Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 My brother played rugby, so jobi's were a definite favourite of his. Link to comment
tightbreeks Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 Reynhard sinaga, the prolific male rapist. His first name was the nazi in the tom cruise vehicle, valkyrie. Evil name. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 yeah a sly fox like name. Link to comment
Fridge Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 Great as an Amy Winehouse song Link to comment
tightbreeks Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 Amy's sideburns, that's what gave her the complex that drove her to self destruction. Link to comment
Redforever86 Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 Amy's sideburns, that's what gave her the complex that drove her to self destruction.Or the fact she could hook goldfish at the fair wi her hose Link to comment
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