Pet Hates

[Simply Red]

24 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Looking back i had a pal that worked at baggage control at GLA and he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box ( and that's being kind). He ended up being a supervisor .

^smeato?

 

Only ever lost bags after internal uk flights. They must put the new starts and mongos on the internal flight baggage bit cos its probably easier in theory. 

[Parklife]

One of our bags (all my stuff) got lost on the way to NYC a few years back. Stuck in Heathrow and never got it until 2 days later. 

Had to go and buy loads of new clothes (which BA refunded me for). 

Worked out alright. 

[manboobs109]

Top tip, if going away with the missus don't put all your gear in one bag and hers in another. Split your clothes between bags. TUI lost my bag one year it was a pain in the cunt.

[Dom Sullivan]

5 minutes ago, manboobs109 said:

Top tip, if going away with the missus don't put all your gear in one bag and hers in another. Split your clothes between bags. TUI lost my bag one year it was a pain in the cunt.

Did her thongs chafe a bit?

[manboobs109]

Just now, Dom Sullivan said:

Did her thongs chafe a bit?

It wasn't easy for me to buy boxers in Spain.

[BrianFaePerth]

1 hour ago, Simply Red said:

Flew abz to mcr for one of the Heaton Park Roses gigs, just down for one night. Had a small backpack with a spare pair of shoes, bottle of brandy for the room (bubble wrapped etc), and my house/car keys. Wouldnt let me take it on as hand luggage cos of the liquids so it went in the hold. Got it back 6days later. Locked out my flat. Couldnt go to work. Had to get a locksmith to get me in after a few nights on my pals couch. Was told in mcr when i arrived that my bag would be in abz airport by the time i got home the next day, it wasnt, cops escorted me out the airport. Shambles

Stone Roses ffs

[Betty Swallicks]

2 hours ago, Simply Red said:

Flew abz to mcr for one of the Heaton Park Roses gigs, just down for one night. Had a small backpack with a spare pair of shoes, bottle of brandy for the room (bubble wrapped etc), and my house/car keys. Wouldnt let me take it on as hand luggage cos of the liquids so it went in the hold. Got it back 6days later. Locked out my flat. Couldnt go to work. Had to get a locksmith to get me in after a few nights on my pals couch. Was told in mcr when i arrived that my bag would be in abz airport by the time i got home the next day, it wasnt, cops escorted me out the airport. Shambles

Pet Hate: Mongs at security at airports.

FFS the rules have been in place for 20 years now, how the fuck can you not know/get it wrong?!?!

Get oot the way you fucking glecks!

[Betty Swallicks]

3 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Buy the brandy at duty free, surely?

Exactly. Its hardly difficult. Gleckit cunts.

[Simply Red]

Anyone ever smuggle anything thru an airport/border?
 

As a loon i was gona take a few ectos over to Dublin via ggw for Hogmanay. Bottled it when i got to security and thru to the bog to take a half and bin the rest. 
That Heaton Park gig, my mate had a big bit of weed left and instead of trying to smoke the lot before our flight (sat in a mcr boozer) i persuaded him to stick it in the lid of his toothpaste which he did. Nae problemos. 

Ken a boy (junkie) who used to do a bit of class A body packing, Kingston Town - Heathrow. Didn't turn out well for him. 

[The Boofon]

5 minutes ago, Simply Red said:

Anyone ever smuggle anything thru an airport/border?
 

As a loon i was gona take a few ectos over to Dublin via ggw for Hogmanay. Bottled it when i got to security and thru to the bog to take a half and bin the rest. 
That Heaton Park gig, my mate had a big bit of weed left and instead of trying to smoke the lot before our flight (sat in a mcr boozer) i persuaded him to stick it in the lid of his toothpaste which he did. Nae problemos. 

Ken a boy (junkie) who used to do a bit of class A body packing, Kingston Town - Heathrow. Didn't turn out well for him. 

Done it a few times. Mostly accidental.

 

Found a bag of pinger in my wallet in Oman a few years ago. Left over from a wedding. Had travelled through Heathrow and Dubai with it. 

Blasted the lot that night in my portacabin. Wasn't taking the chance of coming home with it. Was a tough shift the following day.

[Simply Red]

21 minutes ago, Betty Swallicks said:

Pet Hate: Mongs at security at airports.

FFS the rules have been in place for 20 years now, how the fuck can you not know/get it wrong?!?!

Get oot the way you fucking glecks!

Thinking back i knew it would get checked in. Totally pointless bag aswell but it was included in the ticket so i thought id utilise it and stick some booze in it. The mistake i made was putting my house keys in it. Silly me thinking my bag would go on the same plane as me.

[Simply Red]

Just now, Grays Babylon 1875 said:

Fuck me, it's Howard Marks.

Id just finished that book as a loon in the 90s and persuaded my pals who were heading to Amsterdam to post back some good shit using the margarine coated tinfoil trick Marks used. Worked a treat. Our pal had just moved into a flat so they sent it to him which he didnt know about and obviously went mental about (lol) but chilled out a bit when he emptied the contents of the tin. 

[Betty Swallicks]

Mate used to take back grass from Dam each time inside a tin o Lynx. Ha!

Teen some ching through a couple of times on weekend aways. 

[elephantstone78]

1 hour ago, Grays Babylon 1875 said:

Good book likes.

Met the cunt at Bestival on Isle Of Wight.  He was doing some spoken word thing.

Dude was baked and looked a bit like my mates Ma.  

Mr nice was one of those must read books when I was a teenager. Along with trainspotting and post office. 
 

and Harry Potter. 

[Betty Swallicks]

1 hour ago, The Boofon said:

Done it a few times. Mostly accidental.

 

Found a bag of pinger in my wallet in Oman a few years ago. Left over from a wedding. Had travelled through Heathrow and Dubai with it. 

Blasted the lot that night in my portacabin. Wasn't taking the chance of coming home with it. Was a tough shift the following day.

FFS! I used to wash out the wallet before each trip. Been stopped to swab a few times. Got a positive once but bloke was cool and said it could of came from a note and I tutted, agreed and hurried through.

[Bluto10]

1 hour ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Took a knuckle duster back from Prague once 

Always smuggle vino on to the plane to keep me topped up (got into some trouble with the law in Saudi with that) 

one of the krew got introduced to a new girlf in the pub once. but refused to pull his hand out and shake her hand when prompted. cause he had a k-d on ?

 

good tip that.  Normally always get away with walking up back and ordering two at a time tho

[Poodler]

4 hours ago, Simply Red said:

Anyone ever smuggle anything thru an airport/border?
 

As a loon i was gona take a few ectos over to Dublin via ggw for Hogmanay. Bottled it when i got to security and thru to the bog to take a half and bin the rest. 
That Heaton Park gig, my mate had a big bit of weed left and instead of trying to smoke the lot before our flight (sat in a mcr boozer) i persuaded him to stick it in the lid of his toothpaste which he did. Nae problemos. 

Ken a boy (junkie) who used to do a bit of class A body packing, Kingston Town - Heathrow. Didn't turn out well for him. 

Accidentally had ten tabs of acid in tinfoil in my bag going to Berlin, only realised once there. My bag was searched aswell and my leatherman got binned (also didn’t know it was there). The security folk must claim that sort of thing 

? 

[Dad]

Tennis elbow

[Parklife]

Smokers who stink of cigarettes. 

Bogging. 

[CCB III]

11 minutes ago, Parklife said:

Smokers who stink of cigarettes. 

Bogging. 

Was gonna post earlier about smells. 
 

I can deal with cigs if the person is well perfumed. What I can't deal with is shitty, coffee breath. Guy I work with every morning his breath is humming of shitty coffee, takes up the whole work area. 
 

Same for stinking folk in general. How are their mates not telling them they stink, they've got shit mates.

[Dad]

@BrianFaePerth

[Parklife]

3 minutes ago, CCB III said:

Was gonna post earlier about smells. 
 

I can deal with cigs if the person is well perfumed. What I can't deal with is shitty, coffee breath. Guy I work with every morning his breath is humming of shitty coffee, takes up the whole work area. 
 

Same for stinking folk in general. How are their mates not telling them they stink, they've got shit mates.

Aye. Smokers don't have to stink of smoke. Wash your hands and spray some body spray on your clothes after a cigarette ffs. 

Agree on the folk with BO. How are their mates or wife not telling them that they're stinking? 

[The Boofon]

12 minutes ago, Parklife said:

Aye. Smokers don't have to stink of smoke. Wash your hands and spray some body spray on your clothes after a cigarette ffs. 

Agree on the folk with BO. How are their mates or wife not telling them that they're stinking? 

They still reek of it even after doing that.

[Beachend Bootboy]

4 hours ago, CCB III said:

Guy I work with every morning his breath is humming of shitty coffee, takes up the whole work area. 

 

You should let him clean his teeth with yer dick.  He'd then smell o' fish, cheese and other men's shite 

[1903Fitba]

People who use a forum to discuss their colleagues/friends bad hygiene issues rather than telling the person. 
 

Bent shots. Just tell them they stink. 

[Redforever86]

33 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

It's a tricky one with work colleagues. Years ago my Mrs had a colleague that stank fucking awful. All the other girls in the office bought her some soap, deodorant and left it on her desk for her to return to after lunch. Cue utter sobbing from the stinking monstlositee, who went off sick with stress and never returned. 

Happy ending to the story. Went on to open a takeaway in the Broch. 

[1903Fitba]

42 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

It's a tricky one with work colleagues. Years ago my Mrs had a colleague that stank fucking awful. All the other girls in the office bought her some soap, deodorant and left it on her desk for her to return to after lunch. Cue utter sobbing from the stinking monstlositee, who went off sick with stress and never returned. 

Aye so she didn’t do what I said? Just speak to folk instead of being a cunt. 
 

Bri would have been deported by now if it wasn’t for the hat letting him know he stinks etc. 

[Beachend Bootboy]

1 minute ago, CCB III said:

 
 

Having some suspicions regarding yourself. 

Nah, nae my thing min to be honest.  That said, I've never tried it.

[CCB III]

4 hours ago, Beachend Bootboy said:

You should let him clean his teeth with yer dick.  He'd then smell o' fish, cheese and other men's shite 

That's some descriptive homo erotic prose my man. 
 

Having some suspicions regarding yourself. 

[CCB III]

2 hours ago, 1903Fitba said:

People who use a forum to discuss their colleagues/friends bad hygiene issues rather than telling the person. 
 

Bent shots. Just tell them they stink. 

Oh aye, that'll be right. 
 

Then you've got to work with them for weeks/months after. Probs deal with HR. 
 

Should be a superior telling them, not a colleague on the same level.