dervish Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Simple question who's head would you like to take a shit on? What would the characteristics of the dump be? 1 Link to comment
The Oxford Don Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 My own. Just so I could say that I'd done it. Link to comment
caledonia Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 All the cunts that voted no in the referendum to show what a shite choice they madewet and sticky 1 Link to comment
Chewie37 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Donald Findlay, with a plate of shite like a custard pie, right I the puss Link to comment
ebbe Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 1. Climbing Frame Face2. James Calderwood 3. Gordon Brown4. Keith Lemon5. Darren Mackie Characteristics? Heavy poop water brought on by food poisoning. I'd take comfort in knowing that 5 poltis arseholes might get dysentery off the back of 1 of my rogan josh endused poops. Link to comment
spamspamspam Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Really depends. Can I have the wings of a sparrow?Add the arse of a buffalo?If I can I'd fly over ibrox tomorrow, we'll Saturday and shite on the bastards below, below. Link to comment
RAZOR Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Mark HatelyJackie McNamaraand anyone who makes stovies. I fucking hate stovies. Link to comment
Henry Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 and anyone who makes stovies. I fucking hate stovies. Millertime is safe enough then. 2 Link to comment
RAZOR Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Millertime is safe enough then. True dat. Link to comment
fine-n-dandy Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Michelle mcmammoth & preferably after a week long bender. Link to comment
reekie_dock Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Mongo and his mate we the glasses Link to comment
alscotoz Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Could you hate someone that much that you'd want to shit on their head? If it got to that point I'd just shoot them. Link to comment
Chewie37 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Could you hate someone that much that you'd want to shit on their head? If it got to that point I'd just shoot them.We don't live in America Link to comment
dervish Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 I'd like to shit on the head of folk who shoot other folk. You can deal with it in so many more constructive ways, like an adult. Shite on their head, car or even for the timid wee smear of shite on your hand rub it round their cup as you hand it to them with a smile. Even a shitey handshake. No need to kill someone that's just weird. Link to comment
tup Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Mark HatelyHarcus quotes your post and misses this Incredible. Get a grip Harcus. Link to comment
RAZOR Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Harcus quotes your post and misses this Incredible. Get a grip Harcus.Ahh yes. Harcus has evolved. He has bigger fish to fry than silly typos. Link to comment
tup Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 He's maybe just getting old and becoming less of a cunt as a consequence. Link to comment
ChutneyLove Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Looking forward to meeting Harcus on Saturday, I'm going to mind my Ps and Qs though. Link to comment
ChutneyLove Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Anyone who does a double post. Right solid sideways concrete shite from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Rita Ora. Sexual purposes. She's had that done before by the look of her. Link to comment
strachanmcgheegoal Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 The cunts at the bank that somehow decided that having given you a mobile phone app to tell you your balance, then wait for a transaction that takes the account over its fucking limit and immediately apply an auto return feature so the offending transaction happens and instantaneously doesn't happen, such that the fucking mobile app balance never moves, so you are blissfully unaware that said returned transaction is about to unload an entirely unnecessary shitstorm of grief upon your good self. A thousand curry squirters on their wanky crooked nogs! Rant over Link to comment
looksgoodinred Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Looking forward to meeting Harcus on Saturday, I'm going to mind my Ps and Qs though. don't forget to cross your Ts and dot your Is too! Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 The cunts at the bank that somehow decided that having given you a mobile phone app to tell you your balance, then wait for a transaction that takes the account over its fucking limit and immediately apply an auto return feature so the offending transaction happens and instantaneously doesn't happen, such that the fucking mobile app balance never moves, so you are blissfully unaware that said returned transaction is about to unload an entirely unnecessary shitstorm of grief upon your good self. A thousand curry squirters on their wanky crooked nogs! Rant over Sounds very familiar. Norwegian banks are very good at giving you second by second overview of your transactions. As soon as you have the receipt in your mitt, you can see the transaction on your phone, even overseas. Problem is, the overseas transactions are just debits with no real details. 3/4 days later they get converted to proper transactions. How do they do this? They put the money back in your account while the transaction processes. So, look at your app at an in opportune time and suddenly you think you're minted. So you go have it large round Norway, maybe splashing out extravagantly on a pint, and then while you are paying for it find out the original transaction has processed and you are now barassic again, with not enough money for said beer. Link to comment
strachanmcgheegoal Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Update. Dear Bank, As you are aware I use your mobile app to check my balance. My Balance hasn't moved because of, and yet in spite of, you bouncing a payment. Seems odd. Yours etc Dear SMG Not to us. Please fuck off. Yours etc Dear Bank, It puzzles me however, that I also have a low balance alert such that when my balance drops below a certain level, it notifies me. It didn't. Yours etc Dear SMG Doesn't matter. You didn't have enough money in that account. Really just fuck off as you're spoiling our friday sales meeting. Dear Bank, I think it does matter since your computer operated payment recall function needs to be triggered by the proposed balance falling below it, and it can't do that without falling below my balance alert figure first. I am not stupid. Yours etc. Dear SMG, No, really fuck off, all you have said doesn't matter cos we just can't be arsed looking into it. And we apologise that we all have "nasal weegie accents" but I don't think that is really the point in hand. Yours defo not sincerely Dear Bank, re the point in hand, I'm still waiting..... Dear SMG Turns out you were right! Dear Bank, Pardon? Dear SMG You...were....right (incidentally they did assure me this was a one off, so I don't suggest any of you retire on the plan!). Still cunts though and deserving of a curly to the napper none the less. As you were. Link to comment
strachanmcgheegoal Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Cunting Bastards Link to comment
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