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Life's Curiosities


Foster14

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A thread for musings from the inane to the inner depths of psychological wonderings.

 

Why is it, when you are walking along and you see someone walking a bit unusually, it fucks you up? I can be walking down a street, perfectly reasonable stride (bit gimpy instep with the right foot but nothing major) but then you see someone with a strange gait or a emphatic arm swing and your own conscious goes in to overdrive.

 

I mean the novel walk, not the physically impared walk, but you see it and you think it looks a bit unusual, or a bit unorthodox and you start thinking about your own walk? That moment of clarity on someone else's walk leads to self doubt and major internal questioning about your own walk.

 

Then you just can't walk properly, it goes to pot. No matter how confident your stride was before it's gone. Arms pinned to the side because that last person had a jolly swing. Short steps because that person had a lunging gait. Then surely someone sees you and thinks, what the fuck, that person walks weird.

 

Leads to one perpetual chain of self-doubting fucked up striding weirdos.

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A thread for musings from the inane to the inner depths of psychological wonderings.

 

Why is it, when you are walking along and you see someone walking a bit unusually, it fucks you up? I can be walking down a street, perfectly reasonable stride (bit gimpy instep with the right foot but nothing major) but then you see someone with a strange gait or a emphatic arm swing and your own conscious goes in to overdrive.

 

I mean the novel walk, not the physically impared walk, but you see it and you think it looks a bit unusual, or a bit unorthodox and you start thinking about your own walk? That moment of clarity on someone else's walk leads to self doubt and major internal questioning about your own walk.

 

Then you just can't walk properly, it goes to pot. No matter how confident your stride was before it's gone. Arms pinned to the side because that last person had a jolly swing. Short steps because that person had a lunging gait. Then surely someone sees you and thinks, what the fuck, that person walks weird.

 

Leads to one perpetual chain of self-doubting fucked up striding weirdos.

I am a fucking nightmare with folk with physical disabilities. I genuinely feel sorry for them but can’t deal with it. Obviously try and not draw attention by staring at the massive cyst growing out of their face but I think that’s sometimes worse as it is almost more blatant when you are avoiding looking at it.

 

I am also prone to develop a nervous fit of the giggles in any inappropriate situation. Been many a meeting when I’ve had to almost pull a hernia and not make eye contact as someone comes in with no arms or produces that one of their relatives died at the weekend. A speech impediment during a presentation has been known to faking a phonecall and having to bail out.

 

It is clearly in no way fucking funny must be my brain going into panic mode and defaulting to

some sort of tourette’s. Either that or I am just sick as fuck.

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Starving Africans or slavering wheelchair users on the telly when I'm trying to eat repulse me. Should be a warning before they cut to those scenes.

 

Aye get them to fuck, trying to guilt trip into folk setting up direct debits so some oxbridge bint can earn a decent salary. The best way to support africans is just send direct cash and/or contribute to the local economy by shagging whores. 

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@@Ke1t

 

This is your moment my dear friend.

 

Tbh I'm not at all sure what this thread is supposed to be about, but I can offer some sound advice. 

 

Always walk like you've business to attend to. Always make it appear that you're meant to be where you are, even if you're caught in a Jewelers shop at 3am with pockets full of diamond necklaces, while you're wearing a black and white stripey jumper and a bag bearing the legend 'SWAG'. You walk up to that copper in a confident manner, tell him you have everything under control, and send him on his way to deal with the kind of people who need his help. 

 

A good, strong walk, followed by a steely demeanour or a firm handshake will tell any stranger that here's a fella who doesn't need any fucking interference from the likes of them. 

 

"Off You Fuck" should be the message your walk sends, not just to random cunts but to any physical or mental ailment that manifests itself. 

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Tbh I'm not at all sure what this thread is supposed to be about, but I can offer some sound advice.

 

Always walk like you've business to attend to. Always make it appear that you're meant to be where you are, even if you're caught in a Jewelers shop at 3am with pockets full of diamond necklaces, while you're wearing a black and white stripey jumper and a bag bearing the legend 'SWAG'. You walk up to that copper in a confident manner, tell him you have everything under control, and send him on his way to deal with the kind of people who need his help.

 

A good, strong walk, followed by a steely demeanour or a firm handshake will tell any stranger that here's a fella who doesn't need any fucking interference from the likes of them.

 

"Off You Fuck" should be the message your walk sends, not just to random cunts but to any physical or mental ailment that manifests itself.

Yep, that's how I deal with chuggers as well.

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The point of the thread is to discuss Mike's curiosities and peculiarities. When I walk alone and see other people with an unusual walk I question my own walk and that questioning gives me the walking yips. I think that is what a gowfer calls it.

 

Another peculiarity. The local hospital has not had a brain surgeon before. One arrives and convinces the local hospital that they are qualified to do brain surgery. They get the role and as there are no others the trust believe they do as good as a job as they can.

 

The brain surgeon tells them that they will do it till they die or are another time of their choosing. The next brain surgeon must be their first child. The hospital trust has to accept that and deal with it. No ability to question the process or to challenge the new incumbent's ability when they take up the role.

 

That would be ridiculous! Yet, a significant percentage of the population believe that this is a reasonable way to deal with the head of state. Peculiar!

 

The state as a whole has an anthem that asks some fictional being to protect a silver spooned wifey. Mind boggling serfdom.

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A thread for musings from the inane to the inner depths of psychological wonderings.

 

Why is it, when you are walking along and you see someone walking a bit unusually, it fucks you up? I can be walking down a street, perfectly reasonable stride (bit gimpy instep with the right foot but nothing major) but then you see someone with a strange gait or a emphatic arm swing and your own conscious goes in to overdrive.

 

I mean the novel walk, not the physically impared walk, but you see it and you think it looks a bit unusual, or a bit unorthodox and you start thinking about your own walk? That moment of clarity on someone else's walk leads to self doubt and major internal questioning about your own walk.

 

Then you just can't walk properly, it goes to pot. No matter how confident your stride was before it's gone. Arms pinned to the side because that last person had a jolly swing. Short steps because that person had a lunging gait. Then surely someone sees you and thinks, what the fuck, that person walks weird.

 

Leads to one perpetual chain of self-doubting fucked up striding weirdos.

Get that when I'm proper stoned and need to hit the shops.

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