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#9661 OFFLINE   strachanmcgheegoal

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 11:39 AM

Always put her in the shower before me. She still takes an age. Fucking about with fake eyelashes and the like.

Then if you say 'I'll wait down the pub' it's like you've just called her ma a whore. Instantly volatile


I take it you’re employing the time served tactic of telling her it’s drinks at 7 and telling everyone else 7.30. Knocking the bedroom clock forward 15 minutes is a quick win too.
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#9662 OFFLINE   Studebaker-90

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 11:42 AM

Drinks at 6, quiz starts at 7.
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#9663 OFFLINE   Dad

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 11:54 AM

Love Uri Geller

Was mad all that broken watches and clocks stuff.

'ees eet teeking? Eet ees?'

The whole premise was odd. How did he do it though?

Edited by Dad, 13 July 2019 - 11:54 AM.

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Dad ate my gerbil

#9664 OFFLINE   Zeus

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 11:58 AM

Love Uri Geller


Gr8 Pilot
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#9665 OFFLINE   Dad

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 12:00 PM

'my great friend, mahkil jehcksin'

I bet you fucking looper. He's suspect Uri. There is a cunt hiding in plain sight - hoo mama
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Dad ate my gerbil

#9666 OFFLINE   BrianFaePerth

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 12:04 PM

'my great friend, mahkil jehcksin'

I bet you fucking looper. He's suspect Uri. There is a cunt hiding in plain sight - hoo mama


Best believe a man with insight ^^
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Byen e' Bergen, laget e' Brann

#9667 OFFLINE   Dad

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 12:15 PM

The accusations are gathered up and tossed onwards to Uri Geller.

A much more worthy recipient. Probably.
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Dad ate my gerbil

#9668 OFFLINE   milne_afc

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 12:17 PM

The accusations are gathered up and tossed onwards to Uri Geller.

A much more worthy recipient. Probably.


Unable to defend himself, how very noble of you.
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<p>

#9669 OFFLINE   Dad

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 12:36 PM

How - is he dead?
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Dad ate my gerbil

#9670 OFFLINE   The Boofon

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 12:44 PM

Never liked friends

 

 

Bluto's never had any.


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#9671 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 12:59 PM

Was mad all that broken watches and clocks stuff.

'ees eet teeking? Eet ees?'

The whole premise was odd. How did he do it though?


He didn’t
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#9672 OFFLINE   The Boofon

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 01:22 PM

Was mad all that broken watches and clocks stuff.

'ees eet teeking? Eet ees?'

The whole premise was odd. How did he do it though?

 

 

You should know given you're a massive bender.


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#9673 ONLINE   Grays Babylon 1875

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 01:23 PM

It’s actually quite a serious issue in my relationship. She will literally take hours. It just ruins the evening for me having to wait, nothing can be done on time.


Shave her head and burn all but 1 pair of her shoes and 1 dress.
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Better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. 


#9674 OFFLINE   Dad

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 01:31 PM

You should know given you're a massive bender.

 

Come on now - but I dont, do you?


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Dad ate my gerbil

#9675 OFFLINE   Dad

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 01:32 PM

He didn’t

 

Aye well I figured - but what was going on? Snakes and mirrors?


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Dad ate my gerbil

#9676 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 01:44 PM

own props. spoon fatigued to near breaking point. 

 


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#9677 OFFLINE   Chewie37

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 05:13 PM

Haha. His wife’s got a fair set of shells like!

 

Fair enough, fire on....
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#9678 OFFLINE   Chewie37

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 05:14 PM

 

I put on a pair of her fake lashes, before I looked seriously bent.


Amazing what a comma shift can do
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I've moved to California

#9679 OFFLINE   The Buzzard

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 08:04 PM

Always put her in the shower before me. She still takes an age. Fucking about with fake eyelashes and the like.

Then if you say 'I'll wait down the pub' it's like you've just called her ma a whore. Instantly volatile


I feel your pain. It’s like she’s unable to comprehend the idea of walking into a pub alone.
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#9680 ONLINE   Fridge

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 10:20 PM

The thing is I do not give a fuck how long it takes to get ready. It takes me 15 minutes.

If birds need 3 hours fine. The taxi is coming at 7pm, do mathematics and reverse back from when the taxi is due. Do not be fucking about while the boys metre is on.
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#9681 OFFLINE   alscotoz

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 11:42 PM

The thing is I do not give a fuck how long it takes to get ready. It takes me 15 minutes.

If birds need 3 hours fine. The taxi is coming at 7pm, do mathematics and reverse back from when the taxi is due. Do not be fucking about while the boys metre is on.


That's a fair size 😮
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Never argue with an I D I O T . They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.


#9682 OFFLINE   alscotoz

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 11:43 PM

The thing is I do not give a fuck how long it takes to get ready. It takes me 15 minutes.

If birds need 3 hours fine. The taxi is coming at 7pm, do mathematics and reverse back from when the taxi is due. Do not be fucking about while the boys metre is on.


Fucking phone.

Edited by alscotoz, 13 July 2019 - 11:45 PM.

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Never argue with an I D I O T . They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.


#9683 OFFLINE   alscotoz

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 11:43 PM

The thing is I do not give a fuck how long it takes to get ready. It takes me 15 minutes.

If birds need 3 hours fine. The taxi is coming at 7pm, do mathematics and reverse back from when the taxi is due. Do not be fucking about while the boys metre is on.


Fucking phone. Another pet hate

Edited by alscotoz, 13 July 2019 - 11:46 PM.

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Never argue with an I D I O T . They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.


#9684 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 11:56 PM

The thing is I do not give a fuck how long it takes to get ready. It takes me 15 minutes.

If birds need 3 hours fine. The taxi is coming at 7pm, do mathematics and reverse back from when the taxi is due. Do not be fucking about while the boys metre is on.

 

His metre what? Penis?


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#9685 OFFLINE   Chewie37

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Posted 14 July 2019 - 04:41 AM

Having to run like fuck with a double buggy from a massive swarm of bees! Well I think they were bees, they look like big wasps here, fuck that shit either way
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#9686 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 14 July 2019 - 09:29 AM

Should have left the buggy to get away quicker. Survival of the fittest. 


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#9687 OFFLINE   Bluto10

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Posted 14 July 2019 - 09:35 AM

Having to run like fuck with a double buggy from a massive swarm of bees! Well I think they were bees, they look like big wasps here, fuck that shit either way


wimp!
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You don't give a man like Bluto a drink in those piddly little glasses. Give him the bloody bottle.

.


#9688 OFFLINE   DD1903

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Posted 14 July 2019 - 10:11 AM

Should have left the buggy to get away quicker. Survival of the fittest.


I found it strange he ran with the buggy, but left the kids
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Just an average guy with exceptional hair

#9689 OFFLINE   Captain Caveman

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Posted 14 July 2019 - 10:19 AM

The Gaylord forum topics,

Squad numbers for this season currently being debated.

FFS
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Support real fitba not the EPL

#9690 OFFLINE   For Fecks Sake

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Posted 14 July 2019 - 11:09 AM

Fucks sake, bloke about 50 arrived at the hotel with his family a few days ago. Cunt has only worn his Celtic top every day during the day since.

He looks a right smug bastard as well. Need to complain to the hotel about its standards.
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