Pet Hates

[The Boofon]

YES!  This is definitely one for me... really annoying trying to source a pointless card, for various occasions.  My other half is adamant that she wants a card for every birthday, christmas, etc... she actually keeps them all!  I've been saying to her for years that I'm drawing the line at valentines days cards... but I still end up caving in, because I know she'll take the huff.

 

I just get everything on Moonpig right now (I must be one of their best customers)... I pick the first option that comes up, minimal personalisation, click order. Done.

 

 

Get her some facepaint for Christmas.

 

Stand and Deliver.

[The Boofon]

You bastard.      I was all over that. 

 

 

Haha. Nae luck.

[Ke1t]

We design our own cards, or at least the wife tells me to design our cards. 

 

That's usually my November project... designing the Christmas cards and the calendars for distribution to the various family members. 

 

Back in the day they used to just be these gay fucking cards/calendars with family pictures, but in recent years I've been pushing to see just how much I can get away with before someone says something or questions the 'Christmas Message' I'm pushing... to the point that a couple of years back they had quite a fierce anti-semetic tone to them. Thought the Jew element in the family might say something, but nah. 

 

This year I'll be seeing how far I can go with the Right Wing message. Though there's enough MAGA bams in her family that they'll likely still think my cards are Left Wing propaganda. 

[BrianFaePerth]

Get her some facepaint for Christmas.

 

Stand and Deliver.

 

[The Buzzard]

Get her some facepaint for Christmas.

 

Stand and Deliver.

Fucking genius! Burst out laughing in the office there.

[Arabian Knight]

eh hate cliff richards guts, cunts still milkin the simpathy efter gittin raided n the bbc filmd it, oan the radio agen the day sayin ez nae beast n sez ez betrayed by bbc who e thot wis ez friend

[Poodler]

eh hate cliff richards guts, cunts still milkin the simpathy efter gittin raided n the bbc filmd it, oan the radio agen the day sayin ez nae beast n sez ez betrayed by bbc who e thot wis ez friend

Don't be slagging my mate Cliff. I've met Cliff. Henry can bring up the 15 posts I've made on the subject.

 

 

 

Boof, quality posting, further up

[BrianFaePerth]

eh hate cliff richards guts, cunts still milkin the simpathy efter gittin raided n the bbc filmd it, oan the radio agen the day sayin ez nae beast n sez ez betrayed by bbc who e thot wis ez friend

Well said Rumpus

[reekie_dock]

Enough of the work chat.

 

 

Up yer arse

[Chewie37]

Up yer arse

Flirt

[alscotoz]

A new bog roll that is a nightmare to get started. Rip half of it off before it flows freely.

[Poodler]

Use a picture of your wife

[alscotoz]

Use a picture of your wife

 

Hilarious. She died.

[The Boofon]

Hilarious. She died.

 

Fuck sake.

 

 

[HairyPie]

Stupid cunts, never heard of heaven?

[Chewie37]

Hilarious. She died.

From ripping bogroll? What a way to go

[reekie_dock]

Kids and nice mothers they’re utter cunts

[Chewie37]

Kids and nice mothers they’re utter cunts

Only if you wish it......

[reekie_dock]

Hi Mum,

 

Am just joking your amazing

[Parklife]

Folk who say Italian words in an Italian accent .

 

Fucking bugs me and sounds ridiculous.

I always adopt the accent of the language i'm speaking in

 

Apart from English, obviously. The guffies sound ridiculous.

[Parklife]

Folk who say Italian words in an Italian accent .

 

Fucking bugs me and sounds ridiculous.

I always adopt the accent of the language i'm speaking in

 

Apart from English, obviously. The guffies sound ridiculous.

[Hewitt a the pies]

Folk who say Italian words in an Italian accent .

 

Fucking bugs me and sounds ridiculous.

Like Gino Sheffield Decampo.

[Henry]

I always adopt the accent of the language i'm speaking in

 

 

"Oy!" says Parklife, as the waiter tells him the restaurant is out of bagels and baklava. 

[zander]

My favouri

 

 Great at keeping your head warm or for robbing banks.

Love the clash

[Chewie37]

I mean if they are talking English and then throw in an Italian name eg Francesco Totti but say that part in an Italian accent.

It’s ridiculous.

You wouldn’t do that to an African name or say Steve Bull in a West Midlands accent.

Worse when smug servers say the name of an Italian dish back to you when you've blatantly said it wrong....no tip for you cunty

[mcdougall(4)]

Worse when smug servers say the name of an Italian dish back to you when you've blatantly said it wrong....no tip for you cunty

 

Grazie mille 

[Nelly]

I always adopt the accent of the language i'm speaking in

 

Apart from English, obviously. The guffies sound ridiculous.

 

So when going on holiday you'll say Firenze, Roma, 'Paree', Múnchen?

[Fridge]

Grazie mille

Or the cock at a works dinner who snatches the wine menu and suddenly starts producing fluent fiction about £150 bottles of wine and his vast knowledge of them.

 

Everybody knows roughly what you are earning mate, it’s unlikely that you have a wine cellar full of vintage Bordeaux in your 3 bedroom house.

 

Just do what everyone else does skip the house go about halfway up and select the grape you cock.

 

Incidentally I do smell the wine to see if it is corked. Not once have I ever put it back. Swirl the glass, smell and then nod of approval.

[Poodler]

Off wine tastes as bad as tennants. You'd ken

[StandFree1982]

Folk who, when on a night out, will moan when you suggest any pub to go,  and have a pint, but won't give any suggestions themselves.  We're only drinking beer ffs, we're not going on a date, ye cock.