Studebaker-90 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 What would you defend yourself with? I have a large sack of coins on my bedside table that could do considerable damage. What have you got? Link to comment
Studebaker-90 Posted August 12, 2019 Author Share Posted August 12, 2019 Not to mention your armpits 4 1 Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Baseball batJust tell the intruder about your rave days. 1 Link to comment
Zeus Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Hammer. Can't be too careful with regards to home security However if you were to beat the intruder with a hammer I assume youe going to be in a bit of bother with the law yourself Link to comment
dazzy_deff Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Hammer in my bedside drawer. Kept there at all times. Link to comment
Poodler Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I'll help them roll her up in a carpet and take her away if they want. Then back to bed for a decent kip Link to comment
Guest milne_afc Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I'd offer up my anus. Link to comment
alscotoz Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I'd offer up my anus. What if someone was trying to break into your house? 4 Link to comment
Guest milne_afc Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 What if someone was trying to break into your house?I'd let them read your posts. Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I'd offer up my anus.What if it wasn’t poodles? 2 Link to comment
Guest milne_afc Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 What if it wasn’t poodles?I'd be crestfallen and humiliated. Would have to move to Oz. Link to comment
Parklife Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Baseball bat (heavy old wooden style one, not a lightweight aluminium one) is kept next to my bed. Trick is to hit them with a jabbing motion with it, it's much quicker than taking a full swing and will ensure you get the first hit in. Link to comment
BWG Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 I'd hide in the cupboard for a few hours... as is the agreed upon course of action on the hat. Link to comment
Henry Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Check out all these Liam Neesons with machine guns and the like stored under their pillows. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Check out all these Liam Neesons with machine guns and the like stored under their pillows. a hammer in the bedside drawer ?that’s not for security FFS Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Baseball bat (heavy old wooden style one, not a lightweight aluminium one) is kept next to my bed. Trick is to hit them with a jabbing motion with it, it's much quicker than taking a full swing and will ensure you get the first hit in.aye ok Frank Link to comment
dazzy_deff Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 a hammer in the bedside drawer ?that’s not for security FFSIt's more for when I have to hang pictures in the bedroom if I'm honest. Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Don’t get the fascination with baseball bats.A cricket bat would be better . As the intruder approaches you actually take the stance as if about to be bowled at by a spin bowler . Anticipate early , get a decent contact on the cunt and knock it to mid off stump , inside wicket. Whatever that means .what if he throws you a googilllly? Link to comment
Bluto10 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 It's more for when I have to hang pictures in the bedroom if I'm honest. Link to comment
The Boofon Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Baseball bat (heavy old wooden style one, not a lightweight aluminium one) is kept next to my bed. Trick is to hit them with a jabbing motion with it, it's much quicker than taking a full swing and will ensure you get the first hit in.How many times have you had to use it Parko? You sound well experienced. Step up on the security if you’re getting so many intrusions. Link to comment
Red_Rocket_1983 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 My Yorkshire Terrier would have already killed him upon entering the house Link to comment
1903Fitba Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Rounders bat > Baseball bat Baseball bat is too big for confined spaces. Idiots. 1 Link to comment
BWG Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Rounders bat > Baseball bat Baseball bat is too big for confined spaces. Idiots. I feel like you'd want something stabby as opposed to bashy. Link to comment
Clydeside_Sheep Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Rounders bat > Baseball bat Baseball bat is too big for confined spaces. Idiots. Bingo. The kind of folk who would attempt to deploy a baseball bat indoors are the same kind of folk who would take armoured vehicles into dense urban areas. Link to comment
Foster14 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Weapon of choice would be a snooker cue. As long as the intruder was close to a horizontal surface. Link to comment
Cowie Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 In South Africa the acceptable course of action is to shoot them. Multiple times if possible. Link to comment
Simply Red Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 We had some North Face clad ‘gangtarz’ fae Mastrick try all the front doors and motors in our street(kingswells) a few weeks ago. Arrested the next day because they are aids ridden spastic mutants. No qualms with playfully smashing the fuck out of any of those cunts with the hammer i keep for such occasions. Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 My dog would munch the cunts Link to comment
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