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Sooper-hanz

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There's an article on it out there somewhere - it's like a dream where everything is floaty and flying about long flowing white clouds and the like.

 

 

All based on the memories of the experience had by those that nearly drowned...a lot of them reported the aforementioned.

 

Imagine it feeling like your lungs are going to burst . Pretty sure you just black out

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Surely strapped full of explosives, finger on the detonator in the Hun end at ibrox, sing the new Ricksen songs and when the punches start raining in release the Semtex (not fully clued up on the best explosives)

 

Anyway that’s how I envisage going @@Police

 

Sick Dons Fans 

 

@DailyRecord

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I swam out too far and the tide brought me into an area of rocks, smashing me into them . Couldnt get out, or even stand on the rocks (too slippy).

Thought my time was up. The weird thing is I was actually too embarrassed to shout for help  :hysterical:  Managed to get out , fuck knows how.

Yer mum came in and pulled the plug oot

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Yer mum came in and pulled the plug oot

 

 

:hysterical:  Know the weird thing. I swam out again ten minutes later and the exact same thing happened . Just didn't get the power of the tide.  This time when I was in the rocks I was thinking that I was a fucking prick and deserved to die for letting it happen again. Unreal.

 

Any of u pop pickers with NDEs?

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:hysterical:  Know the weird thing. I swam out again ten minutes later and the exact same thing happened . Just didn't get the power of the tide.  This time when I was in the rocks I was thinking that I was a fucking prick and deserved to die for letting it happen again. Unreal.

 

Any of u pop pickers with NDEs?

 

 

I used to cool for strippers back in the day.  Nothing serious, but I'd drive them to their gigs, and if any of the three eyed locals took the girls stripping as an invitation to shove a digit up their arsehole it was my job to break his finger off and shove it up his own arsehole by way of consolation. 

 

Most of the time there was never any problems, but this particular night I had to burst a laddie's nose a wee bit because he took a dislike to me as I was "Fae fuckin' Aiyburdeen".  I thought his bumpkin, knuckle-dragging chums we're going to batter the fuck out of me... but that wasn't the NDE. They were actually cool about it and apologised to me for his arsehole shenanigans, pulling him away to sort himself out. 

 

It was on the drive back from that gig... I was a bit wired from the fecht and the very real danger of being beaten to death by all his relatives, and wasn't concentrating on the road. Also, there was a half naked stripper in the seat next to me which was something of a distraction. The roads were dark a fuck, there was a million foot drop into the glen , and it was late in the year so the road was a wee bit icy in patches. 

 

I take my eyes off the road for a couple of seconds as I'm checking out her tits a bit, and at that precise moment a fucking corner comes along. There's a wee wire fence at the side of the road, I smash clean through it, and the car sails off into the abyss to a certain death down in the glen, as we mentioned, a million feet below. 

 

I think I screamed like a wee lassie as I Thelma and Loiused to my doom, but at least I'm going to die with a tidy sluttie next to me, so that's alright, I suppose. 

 

Then the car hits the ground on the other side of the fence, a drop of maybe two feet in total. I'd gone off the road at precisely a spot where there was level ground.  I'm now stopped in Farmer Wullie's neep field having a panic attack while the stripper next to me laughs hysterically. Presumably near death experiences are fuck all to a bird who gets naked in front of inbred teuchters on a weekend, because I'm wringing my knickers out and breathing heavier than a catholic in a kindergarten, and she can hardly breath from laughing. 

 

I reverse the car back out of the field, making a mental note to contact the farmer and offer to pay for any damage to his fence. 

 

Later, I'd realise that was just the panic-reflex, and to fuck with that teuchter and his fence. 

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was thinking more the double deuce.

 

:cool:

 

I have no idea what that means, but I'll take it... 

 

Just Googled that.

 

"The Double Deuce is the meanest, loudest and rowdiest bar south of the Mason-Dixon Line, and Dalton (Patrick Swayze) has been hired to clean it up. He might not look like much, but the Ph.D.-educated bouncer proves he's more than capable -- busting the heads of troublemakers and turning the roadhous… MORE"

 

 

:laughing:

 

I've never seen Roadhouse. 

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