Telly Programmes That Haven't Been Made Yet

[Poodler]

Kaffir in the attic

 

Ron Atkinson kidnaps Marcel Desailly for ruining his TV career then hides him up the loft

 

Hahaha

[S2RDS]

The ex-files.

 

A show discovering the paranormal reasons behind why you ever found your ex attractive. 

[Redforever86]

AFCHat Beastiality week special. 

 

Moose Women

LGIR and friends all get sexually assaulted by Canadian wildlife. 

 

The Sty At Night

Henry is live on the croft in Orkney.

 

The Hog Whisperer. 

Bri softly seduces a pig with a heartfelt conversation about humans being revulsed by their smell. Romance ensues. 

 

Keeping Up With The Amphibians

The frogs are shagging like crazy, but can the Poodler match their stamina as he jerks off over a Salamander. 

 

Hardcore Prawn

You don't want to know what's in the cocktails, guest starring Bluto. 

 

Whore in a shed. 

Moobs is off out to the garden, he's got a hardon, but what's the secret animal tonight?

[Fridge]

Hi-be-hi

 

GB in a holiday camp getting fucked out of his face on cheap lager and crack cocaine

 

Ends up nailing Sue Pollard

[The Boofon]

Hi-Be-Die

 

Retrace Bradley Welsh's final footsteps in this crime thriller

 

Starring Bradley Walsh as Bradley Welsh

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

Flog it!

 

Daily coverage of Clydesdale’s daily self-flagellation ritual as he repents the sins of the Catholic Church for all the bumming of sexually mature 11-year olds.

[Mr blackie]

Cock-a-block

Follow the crew on a night out as bluto does his best to thwart some fantush action

Signs into the pub with cockablocker checking in

[Fridge]

[daytripping]

You must have been there Dayt’s? Did you get a kick?

 

On my daughters life I was there, was the day Jay got his face opened, was a bit of a walkover to be honest. Didn't see Raymond going down but the rumours during the game was he was dead, glad he wasn't, unable to walk and being a spastic for a few weeks fair enough. We got right round to the hibs end and this guy "penguin" put his foot through a big plate glass window of a bar, huge mannies steamed out and had it, was the only scary part of the whole thing, we got the better of them but just down to numbers. My brother punched fuck out of a wide guy who fancied himself as a top casual, ripped a gold chain off his neck, got 400 for it, huge amount of money at the time. Good memories.

[daytripping]

You must have been there Dayt’s? Did you get a kick?

 

Was you there Fridge??

[reekie_dock]

Bash in the Attic

 

Children’s Tv program about Peterhead kid who plays hide and seak in his friends house. Finds a great hiding spot up in the attic only to discover a peep hole into his friends mum and dad’s upstairs bedroom.

[maryhilldon]

'Tache In The Attic.

 

Tom Selleck finds respite from randy housewives.

[The Boofon]

Ebbe in the attic.

 

Sitting up there high as a kite burning £20 notes. True life documentary.

[Poodler]

Ebbe in the attic.

 

Sitting up there high as a kite burning £20 notes. True life documentary.

 

Beat me to it

[Chewie37]

Gash in the Attic......Ann Frank hides out from nazis, gets bored, fingers herself

[alscotoz]

Gash in the Attic......Ann Frank hides out from nazis, gets bored, fingers herself

 

All family friendly but you had to lower the tone. 

[daytripping]

Series 1; Boof in the attic...Boof hides in the attic while Jihad warriors storm his house and take over Portsoy. 

 

Series 2; Jihad warriors start getting tired of stories of Jess used to live there, Boof still in the attic.

[Redforever86]

Mash in the attic. 

 

Members of the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital care for the injured during the Korean War in an attic and use humor to escape from the horror and depression of the situation.

[Redforever86]

Stramash over the stash of cash and hash in the Attic

 

Children’s television programme about a Peterhead loon who leaves school, gets a job working in the fish industry and lives in a loft conversion in his mum and dads house.......then loses it all when he discovers the joy of drugs.

 

To fund his habit he begins to deal drugs, until one day his father finds a bundle of cash and weed in the rafters, leading to a violent confrontation. 

[Studebaker-90]

Wash in the attic

 

Members of the hat kidnap Brian fae Perth and give him a good scrub

[Redforever86]

Slash in the Attic. 

 

Children’s television programme about a Peterhead loon who leaves school, gets a job working in the fish industry and lives in a loft conversion in his mum and dads house, he forms a Guns n Roses tribute band and streams live to a world wide audience on YouTube from his bedsit. 

[Redforever86]

Ash in the Attic. 

 

Children’s television programme about a Peterhead loon who leaves school, gets a job working in the fish industry and lives in a loft conversion in his mum and dads house.......then loses it all when he discovers the joy of drugs.

To fund his habit he begins to deal drugs, until one day his father finds a bundle of cash and weed in the rafters, leading to a violent confrontation.

 

In fury the son burns the place down. 

[Redforever86]

Whiplash in the attic. 

 

A don in Oz runs out of space in the basement. 

[The Boofon]

Slash in the Arctic.

 

Guns n Roses pish all over a polar bear.

 

Slash in the Antarctic.

 

Episode 2 with a golden shower received from a penguin.

[The Boofon]

Gnomeland.

 

Terrorist drama featuring Tup as a CIA agent.

[The Boofon]

Dad’s Barmy.

 

Shit betting show with tips from an annoying pish stained old cunt with Alzheimer’s.

[The Boofon]

Immigrants in the arctic.

 

Live from Calais.

[Foster14]

Crash in the Static. 

 

 

Children’s television programme about a Peterhead loon who leaves school, gets a job working in the fish industry and lives in a loft conversion in his mum and dads house.......then loses it all when he discovers the joy of drugs.

To fund his habit he begins to deal drugs, until one day his father finds a bundle of cash and weed in the rafters, leading to a violent confrontation.

 

In fury the son burns the place down.

 

While searching for a place to live more permanently, he stays in his mate's caravan at Mains of Boddam.  

[The Boofon]

A tick in the attic.

 

The boy fae peterheid goes on a walk to find his drug stash and gets a tick on his leg. Once he goes up the attic the tick falls off and takes up residence on the peterheid boy’s pet dog he keeps up there.

[Mr blackie]

Pash in the attic

 

Like slash in the attic but fae Alford