Telly Programmes That Haven't Been Made Yet

[Chewie37]

Wider Man and His Amazing Friends......Bluto and his crew get up to superhero high jinks (in fact they’re just drunk throwing each other’s shoes in the canal) sponsored by Paul Smith Clearance

[Chewie37]

Just Piss League.........as above, but after 7.30pm

[Chewie37]

Britanian and the Musty Hounds.......olfactory fun with some smelly cunts

[Redforever86]

The Sick

 

Maryhill Doll finds ever more elaborate ways to claim benefits and avoid gainful employment.

[Chewie37]

Casual Tee........Dayts does a fashion show with some funcy t-shirts.

 

Also video footage of other teams crews after being smashed by Aberdeen

[maryhilldon]

The Sick

 

Maryhill Doll finds ever more elaborate ways to claim benefits and avoid gainful employment.

It's a fuckin minefield.

[Studebaker-90]

Glove Island

 

Parklife shocks and offends hatters after admitting he wears gloves to administer diesel.

[Studebaker-90]

George Clarke’s amazing faces

 

Channel 4 television host develops a severe psychosis. Watch as he goes around his local neighbourhood with a box cutter slicing off the faces of his victims and putting them on to mannequins he uses for his architectural seminars.

[Chewie37]

Glass the Midwife.......a slightly darker take on the recent barmaid glassing trend

[Reed or deed]

Glove Island

Parklife shocks and offends hatters after admitting he wears gloves to administer diesel.

Ha ha. Wouldn't be much of a shock tbf

[Fridge]

Wacagay

 

Timmy Mallet goes about with an actual mallet battering fuck out of non sock wearing poofs

[Poodler]

[Reed or deed]

Take me out.

 

 

Neil Lennon makes his best efforts at striking up a rapport with the Scottish football public.

[eeps]

Strange Hill

 

Arabian Knight and Bluto move into a big tent on Broadford hill to start a new religion. They try to recruit new adherents at Aberdeen home games based on their philosophy of free homosexual love.

[Reed or deed]

George Clarke’s amazing faces

Channel 4 television host develops a severe psychosis. Watch as he goes around his local neighbourhood with a box cutter slicing off the faces of his victims and putting them on to mannequins he uses for his architectural seminars.

Missed this earlier.

 

Laughing like fuck when reading this.

[Studebaker-90]

Darkpol

 

Follow the relationship of Nicole Brown Simpson and OJ before Ron Goldman spoiled it all.

[Studebaker-90]

Strange Hill

Arabian Knight and Bluto move into a big tent on Broadford hill to start a new religion. They try to recruit new adherents at Aberdeen home games based on their philosophy of free homosexual love.

And the shagging of dogs

[eeps]

And the shagging of dogs

Yes

[Fridge]

Breaking Dad

 

Documentary about Dad getting interrogated about why he is driving about in a van full of homemade class A drugs and parking outside schools.

[Mr blackie]

spoogebob squarepants

 

spoogebob aka (roberto) goes around all the local westhill/kingswells pubs ejaculating all over the toilet flushers

[Poodler]

You doing the soundtrack?

[The Boofon]

Prefer Arbroath

Cullen Skink is a better soup.

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

Good one Judge Jules

[Torry Tosser]

"Celebrity Tin Opening" Brian Blessed,H from Steps,The Krankies and

Anne Widdecombe sit round a kitchen table discussing the latest tin openers on the market.

In the first episode Brian Blessed reminisces over the time he cut the top of of his finger off opening a tin of Kattomeat in his bedsit in Islington when he was a young actor.

[HairyPie]

"Celebrity Tim Opening" Rod Stewart and Dominik Diamond are disembowelled live on telly, with the various internal body parts thrown against white walls for a Jackson Pollock vibe.

[BrianFaePerth]

Utility rim opening

 

mrs Bloots wakes the BMG up and kicks him out to go to work

[Chewie37]

Through The Pee Hole..... City Centre stalks the owners of houses near the Kingsford building site

[Fridge]

This Mourning

 

Philip Schofield and Holly present live coverage of Ricksen’s funeral. Massive screens up at pittodrie and Union Square.

[King Street Loon]

Who do you think you are?

 

The Sultans/PG assess wannabe applicants into the inner sanctum.

[ddia]

Cry Boy Cry: Episode 1

 

 

It was an idyllic upbringing. Yummy Mummy was happy in homemaker role, regular exercise kept the shape perfect, her love tunnel kept immaculately manicured: soft and fragrant.

 

Daddy was a gentle man, a good provider.

 

The young lad had no idea of the catastrophe looming over the horizon. Daddy possessed the Demon within..

 

Then it happened. Daddy's Gone. He could no longer suppress his true feelings and keep up the pretence. He was a Bum Boy plain and simple. Away he skedaddled off to the south of England to escape the claustrophobic shame and embarrassment associated with such activities in parochial Aberdeen suburbia. Brighton to be precise where anal penetration is not only the norm, but also encouraged. 

 

Yummy was distraught, devastated, a broken woman life in tatters. Kids to think of though, life must go on. 

 

Extended family rallied round, willing to help emotionally and with finances.

 

The young lad struggled with the cognitive acceptance of the situation. School became a battleground as he lashed out daily as the endless taunts from his peer group.

 

He wasn't a fighter though and soon realised the best form of defence was to adopt a front: laugh it off despite the inner turmoil. Keep his head down and apply himself to his school work.

 

What he did possess was Yummy's good genes, he was a looker, no mistake. Girls were drawn to him all through his teen years and into his twenties. It didn't feel right though, he found himself masturbating profusely despite no shortage of female attention. 

 

His completed his education and started on a reputable career path. Yummy was so proud, her little Man was an achiever.

 

Working unsociable hours in a stressful position coupled with the confused thoughts, he found solace in alcohol and recreational drugs.

His friends began to drift away to start their own families, career moves elsewhere, etc...natural progression, but he felt increasingly alone. Female friends became fewer as he became chubbier and his growing obsession with anal penetration became quite disturbing to them.

 

He didn't know which way to turn for companionship, so he joined an online football forum....

 

 

 

Episode 2 to follow....