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Pet Hates


StandFree1982

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Old folk 'money-saving' shit gets on my titties. 

 

The mother in law doesn't like to waste stuff, which is fine, but she makes a habit of bringing me expired food and expecting me to use it because it's free.  I'll be having a BBQ or cooking some fucking amazing dish, because that's what I do, and she'll try to find out ahead of time what I'm making. She'll then go and find the main ingredient, but one that expired a minimum of 6 - 12 months previously, and then try to persuade me to use it instead of the fresh ingredients I've bought for the purpose. 

 

 

Case in point... July 4th coming up... I'll be getting my Pig Roast game on, and the wife's old dear will without a shadow of a doubt be trying her fucking damnest to find the corpse of a pig that died a month ago and has been sitting in a pool of stagnant water and chewed on by rats. 

 

"Hey, Kelt... I know you're looking for a pig for the 4th, so I managed to find this bloated, rotting porcine* cadaver in a shallow puddle of brown water near the sewage treatment plant. I had a farmer drag it out behind his tractor, then managed to get some gypsies to shit on it just in case it wasn't already unpleasant enough. Why don't you cancel the pig you ordered from the butcher and cook this decomposing shit-pig instead?"

 

I get that old folk like to save money, but by this point I'm starting to think she just likes fucking with me. 

 

I appreciate you trying to save me cash, but dying from trichinosis is way down on the list of shit I want to try. 

 

 

*Pertaining to pigs

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News was talking about wifies fitba on 3 channels at the same time, lionesses my arse , not to be out done Reporting Scotland done a piece on  the Scottish under 19 women getting ready for the Euros...... Why? Sooner this competition is finished the better , nothing good has come from wifies fitba since the pictures of thoan American goalies well used blurt and tea towel holder.

 

And agread Wimbledon can get to fuck 4 hours on BBC1 and 11 hours straight on BBC2 what a snorefest!

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Old folk 'money-saving' shit gets on my titties.

 

The mother in law doesn't like to waste stuff, which is fine, but she makes a habit of bringing me expired food and expecting me to use it because it's free. I'll be having a BBQ or cooking some fucking amazing dish, because that's what I do, and she'll try to find out ahead of time what I'm making. She'll then go and find the main ingredient, but one that expired a minimum of 6 - 12 months previously, and then try to persuade me to use it instead of the fresh ingredients I've bought for the purpose.

 

 

Case in point... July 4th coming up... I'll be getting my Pig Roast game on, and the wife's old dear will without a shadow of a doubt be trying her fucking damnest to find the corpse of a pig that died a month ago and has been sitting in a pool of stagnant water and chewed on by rats.

 

"Hey, Kelt... I know you're looking for a pig for the 4th, so I managed to find this bloated, rotting porcine* cadaver in a shallow puddle of brown water near the sewage treatment plant. I had a farmer drag it out behind his tractor, then managed to get some gypsies to shit on it just in case it wasn't already unpleasant enough. Why don't you cancel the pig you ordered from the butcher and cook this decomposing shit-pig instead?"

 

I get that old folk like to save money, but by this point I'm starting to think she just likes fucking with me.

 

I appreciate you trying to save me cash, but dying from trichinosis is way down on the list of shit I want to try.

 

 

*Pertaining to pigs

@@Police hate crime. Kelts in-laws are moslemists.

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When people email you just before you leave the office and then ask you first thing in the morning if you got their email.

People who phone you within seconds of sending you an email to ask if you've got their email.

 

They must push the dial button and click send simultaneously.

 

Fuck off

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Taxi drivers.

Must they drive exactly to the speed limit and take every corner like they're driving miss daisy?

Or be grumpy fucks.

 

Or nae have a clue how to get where you want to go and you have to direct them - fucking loads of ethnic taxi drivers who don't have a Scooby about the North East.

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Agreed BMG.

I enjoy doing as little as possible without the fear of someone dying.

Schedule a 'meeting' with a client, fuck off hame. Can't beat it.

scary the chart climbing corp mentality I see at work.

 

think ambition and the lure of more $$$s \ ‘power’ brings out the worst in a certain type of prople

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Agreed BMG.

I enjoy doing as little as possible without the fear of someone dying.

Schedule a 'meeting' with a client, fuck off hame. Can't beat it.

scary the chart climbing corp mentality I see at work.

 

think ambition and the lure of more $$$s \ ‘power’ brings out the worst in a certain type of prople

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