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#1 OFFLINE   tan1998

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 03:27 PM

I am involved in a short survey asking about health and health apps and I hope you can spare a few minutes to contribute towards the research: 
 
 
Thanks in advance. !!! :happy:  :happy:  :happy:  :happy:

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#2 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 03:32 PM

No fuck off.








Joking. Fuck off.
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#3 OFFLINE   Parklife

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 03:33 PM

Your link doesn't work.
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#4 OFFLINE   The Cockney Don

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 03:33 PM

Vincent-Tan.jpg


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.


#5 OFFLINE   dave_min

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 06:32 PM

Teesside University isn't a real University.


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#6 OFFLINE   1903Fitba

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 06:34 PM

Online surveys LOL
Teeside Uni LOL


I can already tell you’ll fail. 2:2 and a fat wife beckons.


LFDO
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#7 OFFLINE   Ke1t

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 08:27 PM

 

I am involved in a short survey asking about health and health apps and I hope you can spare a few minutes to contribute towards the research: 
 
 
Thanks in advance. !!! :happy:  :happy:  :happy:  :happy:

 

 

 

I haven't shit for about three days. 

 

Fucked if I know why that is... I'm keeping hydrated with lager and eating pretty much nothing but chili. 

 

The wife's off to Vegas, you see... so I'm keepin an eye oan ra wean, no?

 

Sorry, I kinda veered into Weegiespeak for no obvious reason there. 

 

Anyway, I'm making him balanced meals with all vegetables and that, but for my own part I slip back into bad eating habits when she's not around. 

 

By Friday I'll be farting like a rancid donkey, the stench alone will be powerful enough to curdle milk in the neighbour's house. I'm not even kidding... after a couple days on a lager and mince diet I'm backed up like the Hoover Dam if the Hoover Dam was holding back a thirty pound shite made of mince and beans. 

 

Anyway, I noticed you said something about health or whatever, and you go to Uni so you're probably fairly clever, and Poodler is making a point of not answering ONE fucking medical question even though he's the board's designated doctor... something to do with not wanting the death of any posters on his hands or somesuch pish, so I figured you'd probably be the one to ask. 

 

What I'm saying is that now YOU'RE the board's designated doctor, so I'm expecting you to answer whatever medical questions I might have, because Poodler's a fucking faggot. 

 

Sorry, Poodler, mate... you brought this on yourself... tan1998 here has volunteered to answer our medical queries. 

 

So I suppose my question is, what's the best thing I can take to make me take a shite... keeping in mind that this isn't going to be any ordinary shite. 


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#8 OFFLINE   Dad

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 08:35 PM

Stupid young cunt haha


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#9 OFFLINE   Roberto

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 08:40 PM

Prunes and curry, not together.

Well probably work better if together but separately.

Happy shitting.
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#10 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 08:47 PM

^^^This. Pint of prune juice down your neck Kelt will solve the problem. 


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#11 OFFLINE   Captain Caveman

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 08:51 PM

Hope you choke on your parmo tan.
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Support real fitba not the EPL

#12 OFFLINE   Chewie37

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 02:00 AM

I’d say Kelt is more likely to be raped by a bear rather than drink prune juice......might loosen him up more I suppose?
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I've moved to California

#13 ONLINE   Poodler

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 05:29 AM

 
 
I haven't shit for about three days. 
 
Fucked if I know why that is... I'm keeping hydrated with lager and eating pretty much nothing but chili. 
 
The wife's off to Vegas, you see... so I'm keepin an eye oan ra wean, no?
 
Sorry, I kinda veered into Weegiespeak for no obvious reason there. 
 
Anyway, I'm making him balanced meals with all vegetables and that, but for my own part I slip back into bad eating habits when she's not around. 
 
By Friday I'll be farting like a rancid donkey, the stench alone will be powerful enough to curdle milk in the neighbour's house. I'm not even kidding... after a couple days on a lager and mince diet I'm backed up like the Hoover Dam if the Hoover Dam was holding back a thirty pound shite made of mince and beans. 
 
Anyway, I noticed you said something about health or whatever, and you go to Uni so you're probably fairly clever, and Poodler is making a point of not answering ONE fucking medical question even though he's the board's designated doctor... something to do with not wanting the death of any posters on his hands or somesuch pish, so I figured you'd probably be the one to ask. 
 
What I'm saying is that now YOU'RE the board's designated doctor, so I'm expecting you to answer whatever medical questions I might have, because Poodler's a fucking faggot. 
 
Sorry, Poodler, mate... you brought this on yourself... tan1998 here has volunteered to answer our medical queries. 
 
So I suppose my question is, what's the best thing I can take to make me take a shite... keeping in mind that this isn't going to be any ordinary shite. 



If you don't shit for long enough, it can come out your mouth
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#14 OFFLINE   reekie_dock

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 05:33 AM

If you don't shit for long enough, it can come out your mouth


Plenty on here who have that problem
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#15 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 06:28 AM

Im as healthy as Ive ever been

Lungs of a 22 year old

Heart of a Lion

@Ke1t - downing a bottle of fish sauce will cure your ailment
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TPFKATGLA 


#16 OFFLINE   Roberto

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 11:29 AM

Im as healthy as Ive ever been

Lungs of a 22 year old

Heart of a Lion

@Ke1t - downing a bottle of fish sauce will cure your ailment

 

Packed in the smokes as well?


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#17 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 01:32 PM

 
Packed in the smokes as well?


Still smoke when oot my nut

The 10k a day makes up for it

I hope the OP puts all this in his essay for his teacher to mark.
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TPFKATGLA 


#18 ONLINE   Bluto10

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 01:50 PM

^^^ aye ok Forrest
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You don't give a man like Bluto a drink in those piddly little glasses. Give him the bloody bottle.

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#19 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 01:52 PM

^^ no worries, Chunk
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TPFKATGLA 


#20 ONLINE   Bluto10

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 01:54 PM

^^^ not fat, chesney
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You don't give a man like Bluto a drink in those piddly little glasses. Give him the bloody bottle.

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#21 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 01:55 PM

^^^ yes you are, Gomer Pyle
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TPFKATGLA 


#22 OFFLINE   BillyStarkDivinHeeder

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 02:43 PM

If you don't shit for long enough, it can come out your mouth


Also works if you shove food up your rectum.
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#23 OFFLINE   Dal Riata Don

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 02:45 PM

Online surveys LOL
Teeside Uni LOL


I can already tell you’ll fail. 2:2 and a fat wife beckons.


LFDO

A 2:2 is not a fail. 

 

[my wife isn't fat either afore ye ask] 


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#24 OFFLINE   Ke1t

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 05:54 PM

Tipped a shitload of Benefiber into my coffee... holy fuck... if you can't shit I'd recommend Benefiber... just not in the kind of measure I used. 

 

And it works fast. 

 

Christ. 


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#25 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 06:08 PM

Maybe use the resultant material to pack any gaps in the wall Kelt ?
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#26 ONLINE   Bluto10

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 06:11 PM

^^^ not fat, chesney

  

^^^ yes you are, Gomer Pyle


Looks like you’ve an admirer mobby min.
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You don't give a man like Bluto a drink in those piddly little glasses. Give him the bloody bottle.

.


#27 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 06:21 PM

^ fit you on about, John Candy?
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TPFKATGLA 


#28 OFFLINE   Dad

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 06:32 PM

What belt size are you Bloots? Equator?


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#29 ONLINE   Bluto10

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 06:45 PM

What belt size are you Bloots? Equator?


:laughing:

That's a good one.
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You don't give a man like Bluto a drink in those piddly little glasses. Give him the bloody bottle.

.


#30 OFFLINE   Millertime

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 08:23 PM

If you don't shit for long enough, it can come out your mouth


Haha cartman was right then..?
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