Jump to content

Thread O Unsolicited Life Advice


Ke1t

Recommended Posts

Slip-ons are entirely acceptable for the purposes of flying.

 

Nothing worse than being asked to take your shoes off at the security screening and having to fanny about with the laces.

 

Rather have to do that than watch the double leg breaker that Boof just sent me, again

Link to comment

Often a result of 'shy cock' relying on cubicles ^

 

But I concur GB son - whilst the dirty urinal users are splashing drips of urine all over themselves, the floor and their lovers hair - old Dad is safely behind door, talcing, combing and aftershaving himself to victory.

 

Terrific

 

Can piss in a urinal without touching anything other than your own clothes and body.

 

Fa kens how much faecal matter there is on the door you've closed before you do all those things to yourself.  

Link to comment

Net et.

 

This motherfucker is wise. All manner of beasts in public lavvies wanting to receive some swollen goods.

 

Cubicle is where it's at. Door locked obviously, in case Seabass is lurking. @@Poodler

Haha love that scene.

 

 

 

Toilet behaviour separates the men from the boys.

 

It takes a real comfortable man to use the middle urinal when the two side ones are taken.

 

I enjoy doing it, instantly makes some people feel awkward

Link to comment

I’ve never understand the thing about not being physically able to pish in front of somebody else. Surely if you need to pish it just happens, it’s nae like you are having to make a speech and might crack under pressure. If you need to pish surely nature just let’s it happen.

Link to comment

I took some Benadryl the other night, thinking I was just going to bed to sleep... because Benadryl knocks me the fuck out in about 30 seconds flat, and I'm retarded for the the next 8 - 10 hours. 

 

Turned out the wife wasn't having that, and basically forced me into performing, even though I could neither achieve nor maintain an erection, keep my eyes open, and I was already drooling into my own pillow when she decided she was getting it. To my credit I managed to complete the task, even though she was ragdolling the fuck out of my largely unresponsive cock. 

 

I haven't felt like that since my dentist (possibly) raped my mouth a few months back. 

Link to comment

Haha.

 

Maybe it was the monkey that started aids.

 

Was she wearing a Hibs top?

 

Pets aren't allowed on the furniture in my hoose. 

 

It was definitely the wife, since I've heard nothing but how disappointing it was since Sunday Morning.

 

A Hibee AIDS monkey would have forgotten about it by now, though... so maybe that'll be a future investment. 

Link to comment

This and girl chat from birds unless there is a remote chance of getting to pump them.

 

I don’t give a fuck that Nathan has scouts tonight and your granny hasn’t got long to go.

 

And guys who to try to chip in during football chat at the office when they clearly have fuck all idea what they are on about.

Link to comment

This and girl chat from birds unless there is a remote chance of getting to pump them.

 

I don’t give a fuck that Nathan has scouts tonight and your granny hasn’t got long to go.

 

And guys who to try to chip in during football chat at the office when they clearly have fuck all idea what they are on about.

 

Change 'the office' to 'the pub' and you've got @@Bluto10

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...