Pet Hates

[For Fecks Sake]

It's the 'look at the sort of nice person I am' posts that are usually along the lines of "I spotted a homeless person without any shoes so decided to buy them a pair etc. etc. etc." bollocks that is making LinkedIn unreadable and the pile o pish it has become.

That and people you have worked with previously, who you know are utter dog shite at their jobs, making out that they are captains of industry!

[Fridge]

1 hour ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Genuine question ,see the cunts that are on these things , Facebook etc do they ever talk face to face about each other’s things they  post on it? 
“ I saw your wee ‘ standing with Paris’ thing or ‘ I liked that photo of a muffin , mmmmm’ ?

Doubtful, although I am guilty of this with messenger at work. Flirt like fuck with birds at work with innuendo’s and winky smiley faces, then  you see them in the coffee area 10 mins later and barely acknowledge each other.

[Quagmire]

41 minutes ago, Fridge said:

Doubtful, although I am guilty of this with messenger at work. Flirt like fuck with birds at work with innuendo’s and winky smiley faces, then  you see them in the coffee area 10 mins later and barely acknowledge each other.

I would take the hint Fridgeo. 

[Fridge]

It is true though, they’ve been telling you they hate their husband / their Mum is dying / kids are a nightmare. Then you see them in person and you are both are you alright? Yeah just grabbing a coffee.
 

Maybe I’m ace on messenger but an ugly bastard 

[Arabian Knight]

tell thim aboot bluto hidin ez bairns..its a gade convo sterter..first hing thi esk is 'y did e dae it?` n then eh siy `e disna like spikken aboot it-e stiys silent` n then thi siy in disgust `thats beasty as fuck..wit a fuckin brute' 

[YorkDon]

Just saw an ad on the telly for the Real Housewives of somewhere or other.

Worse than the scripted nonsense that these shows undoubtedly are, is the fact that enough people must watch them in order for them to be made in the first place.

I’d need a fucking lobotomy to find these over made up, half plastic full of shite bints entertaining.

[Arabian Knight]

aye yer nae wrang..minds meh o this cunt..yeezll mind him..niver aff eh telly..e wis even in loaded magazine n fhm

e wis a celebrated actor oan stage n screen but e wis gittin typecest..n then e sterted daein documentrys n panel shows..spred ezsel tae thin..e wis a token flidomite..but e wis a luddite innaw..cidna move wi eh times..evryhin wis tae dae wi ez wee airms..e wis angry aboot thim..it wis EZSEL thit didna want tae b seen is a person..n whin time moved oan e wis a forgoatten man..a testamint tae eh human condition in a bygone era

[YorkDon]

23 minutes ago, Arabian Knight said:

aye yer nae wrang..minds meh o this cunt..yeezll mind him..niver aff eh telly..e wis even in loaded magazine n fhm

e wis a celebrated actor oan stage n screen but e wis gittin typecest..n then e sterted daein documentrys n panel shows..spred ezsel tae thin..e wis a token flidomite..but e wis a luddite innaw..cidna move wi eh times..evryhin wis tae dae wi ez wee airms..e wis angry aboot thim..it wis EZSEL thit didna want tae b seen is a person..n whin time moved oan e wis a forgoatten man..a testamint tae eh human condition in a bygone era

Fazzat?

[WesthillWanderersFC]

28 minutes ago, YorkDon said:

Fazzat?

An old spazzy version of Martin Kemp 

[Misers Hill]

15 minutes ago, Bad_Mobby said:

E kipt on wirrin bitcut jeans - lik  Bluto

ih tehveh wirk jest dred up

stuck inni pest - cunt cidint teh iz ain lyses innaw, so jest ware slep oans 

(looks like a spuzzy Brad Pitt) 

?

[Simply Red]

1 hour ago, Bad_Mobby said:

E kipt on wirrin bitcut jeans - lik  Bluto

ih tehveh wirk jest dred up

stuck inni pest - cunt cidint teh iz ain lyses innaw, so jest ware slep oans 

(looks like a spuzzy Brad Pitt) 

HIs faithir and his maw wir baith in Timebayndits and that was the pinnackul of gnome filum and tehveh, metaforikly, he was face doon in the canal in Gronigan fae that point oan.

All he cid hope fir wiz getting shot oot a canon from then oan.

[Poodler]

?

[Misers Hill]

1 hour ago, Simply Red said:

HIs faithir and his maw wir baith in Timebayndits and that was the pinnackul of gnome filum and tehveh, metaforikly, he was face doon in the canal in Gronigan fae that point oan.

All he cid hope fir wiz getting shot oot a canon from then oan.

??

Ehs is Blawin AK oot a eh watter ?

[shut up meg]

On 1/5/2021 at 10:53 AM, Quagmire said:

LinkedIn is starting to breed horrible self indulged wankers who can be filed under the same category as IG ‘Influencers’. They sit all day posting motivational and inspirational quotes to get likes and comments from the same dullards who act as though it’s came from Gandhi himself. Each post is usually finished off with a load of spew inducing hashtags #wecangetthruthis #inthis2gether #positivity #hardworkbreedsresults. The ones I’ve worked with in the past were fuckin hopeless as well. Twats. 

Aye, normally HR types who like or comment on "the best asset a company has is it's employees" type of post, normally the week after they have been part of the process of getting rid of dozens of said assets. 

I'm on it mainly to try and get a job but it is full of fucking arseholes spouting shite.

[The Boofon]

10 hours ago, Simply Red said:

HIs faithir and his maw wir baith in Timebayndits and that was the pinnackul of gnome filum and tehveh, metaforikly, he was face doon in the canal in Gronigan fae that point oan.

All he cid hope fir wiz getting shot oot a canon from then oan.

Hahahaha.

 

Magic.

[Fridge]

Folk out jogging on ice. What the the fuck are you doing it’s nae Rocky IV. NHS has enough shit on just now without you slipping and breaking your ankle. Just do sit ups in your house and go for a walk if you want exercise.

[Zeus]

14 minutes ago, Fridge said:

Folk out jogging on ice. What the the fuck are you doing it’s nae Rocky IV. NHS has enough shit on just now without you slipping and breaking your ankle. Just do sit ups in your house and go for a walk if you want exercise.

I was oot the day and have been all week. Terrific IYAM

 

[Studebaker-90]

15 minutes ago, Zeus said:

I was oot the day and have been all week. Terrific IYAM

 

Same. Ran on the road to annoy drivers. 

[Zeus]

Folk calling for the football to be suspended. Bore off 

[The Boofon]

30 minutes ago, Zeus said:

Folk calling for the football to be suspended. Bore off 

Should be void season. Fuck the huns. 

[The Boofon]

4 hours ago, Fridge said:

Folk out jogging on ice. What the the fuck are you doing it’s nae Rocky IV. NHS has enough shit on just now without you slipping and breaking your ankle. Just do sit ups in your house and go for a walk if you want exercise.

Magnificent. 

[Misers Hill]

22 hours ago, Arabian Knight said:

aye yer nae wrang..minds meh o this cunt..yeezll mind him..niver aff eh telly..e wis even in loaded magazine n fhm

e wis a celebrated actor oan stage n screen but e wis gittin typecest..n then e sterted daein documentrys n panel shows..spred ezsel tae thin..e wis a token flidomite..but e wis a luddite innaw..cidna move wi eh times..evryhin wis tae dae wi ez wee airms..e wis angry aboot thim..it wis EZSEL thit didna want tae b seen is a person..n whin time moved oan e wis a forgoatten man..a testamint tae eh human condition in a bygone era

Yiz mine on thon clinical drug trials..

At wit fuckin?shaped, guid few years ago?

At envolded Bloots en e crew...(grippit hoors) beer vouchers

Fan a thier heids wint 4 times eh size. ....

Eh crews heids a expanded ..nae him..

Eh cunts up ere ^^^

a sheel o a man.?

 

[BrianFaePerth]

On 1/8/2021 at 5:17 AM, Arabian Knight said:

aye yer nae wrang..minds meh o this cunt..yeezll mind him..niver aff eh telly..e wis even in loaded magazine n fhm

 

Did he bang black spice?

[alscotoz]

18 hours ago, shut up meg said:

Aye, normally HR types who like or comment on "the best asset a company has is it's employees" type of post, normally the week after they have been part of the process of getting rid of dozens of said assets. 

I'm on it mainly to try and get a job but it is full of fucking arseholes spouting shite.

Who the fuck would want to do that job?

[King Street Loon]

13 hours ago, The Boofon said:

Magnificent. 

?

[shut up meg]

6 hours ago, alscotoz said:

Who the fuck would want to do that job?

In my experience, cunts.

[Poodler]

7 hours ago, alscotoz said:

Who the fuck would want to do that job?

Few HR mannies here isn't there?

[alscotoz]

11 minutes ago, Poodler said:

Few HR mannies here isn't there?

Was thinking similar

[Fridge]

3 hours ago, alscotoz said:

Was thinking similar

HR are all complete fucking idiots although often hot birds.

I get there has to be a system of sorts but binning folk is a joke. The vast majority of men anyway would prefer a two minute chat of look sorry min, we’re struggling, if something else comes up I’ll give you a shout. Instead HR come up with someone ridiculous point system or something when the decision has already been made.

Fuck me your nae going to sue the company and burn all your bridges unless you are a complete tube.

[chief_wiggum]

Folk that leave Christmas decorations up well after time.....I'm looking at you Bebo

 

 On a side note I canna get any Emojis to come up?