Dad

DWT203: May the Force be wi' us 🤺 (May 4th 2024) Testing testing; check one two – DWT is live once again on Reddit! Terrific, terrific stuff Welcome back hombres ✌️. The disappointment o' last week left an impression on Dad... the New Methods proving the antithesis o' what actually happened, giving us here at DWT absolutely zero in fucking return. Hurts especially so when the odds are comparatively pish - so yous can imagine: Dad's Hurtin' 🤕 The perils then o' keeping pish realistic... when it goes wrong, it cuts deep, leaving a wound that'll remind a cunt o' the horrors o' that day for a whiley to come. They say howe'er, that immediate reparations can add a lot to recovery: mood heightened, raw joy-fuelled adrenaline coursing through the body etc - it helps 💁. Jumping straight up 'n' dusting down free o' fuss 'n' wallowing, fair goes a stretch in assisting forgetfulness. Dad's gone some to make sure - heroes en masse gathered the ge'er, to help make the desires a reality 🤞 No much o' the regular pish to go obviously - so keen Dad is to make familiarity count whilst one can. Capital isnae really summat that has e'er got that familiar round these parts... so it's wi' much frustration these irks continue, despite the noticeable improvement in probability. Ach here - it'll stick eventually... the key is stringing pish along - or at the very least, minimising loss. Losing the full purse contents isnae to happen e'er again: that's the vow. No a vow Dad can absolutely guarantee - but for sure: tis v, v much the intent. Today, the intent is prominent to the hilt 👊 Let's see what happens 🤘 DISCLAIMER: Dad is shit at this. As such, do not under any circumstances, take Dad's Advice seriously. By all means - show solidarity with a tiny fragment o' your incomings if you are absolutely comfortable wi' doing so - but please be very aware, that Dad is in no position to provide owt other than polite thanks for the moral support. Other than that, alls there is, is a solid chance o' disappointment. Ok - serious pish out the way - let's delve in to the fucking numbers 🙌 CONFIRMED DWT TOTAL IN APRIL 2024 STANDS AT: -£311.47 CURRENT DWT RUNNING TOTAL IN 2024 STANDS AT: -£476.49 CURRENT DWT RUNNING TOTAL OVERALL STANDS AT: -£1395.67 CURRENT DWT RUNNING TOTAL TOWARDS NEXT DOUBLE-DWT STANDS AT: -£26.47 Horrendous . Rotten veg'll continue to rain down on Dad for the foreseeable alas... going to take a wee whiley afore there's owt etched in Black. Day 1 o' the recovery: Today 👍 So without further ado, please allow Dad to unveil the next offering in this epic journey, searching for the kind o' result we've been piling eggs in the fucking basket for: IT'S DWT203 🙌🙌 DWT REPRESENTATIVE Opponent Kick-Off Time Odds NEWCASTLE UNITED 🟢🔴🟢🟢🟡 burnley 🟡🟢🟡🔴🟡 15:00 GMT 19/20 LEEDS UNITED 🔴🟢🔴🟡🔴 southampton 🔴🔴🔴🟢🟢 12:30 GMT 4/7 LEICESTER CITY 🟢🟢🟢🔴🔴 blackburn rovers 🟡🔴🟢🔴🟡 12:30 GMT 8/13 DWT ODDS: 3.95/1 DWT203 - The Doubles DOUBLE TEAM A TEAM B Odds A NEWCASTLE UNITED LEEDS UNITED 2.06/1 B NEWCASTLE UNITED LEICESTER CITY 2.15/1 C LEEDS UNITED LEICESTER CITY 1.54/1 NEWCASTLE UNITED 3 Wins from their last 4: Newcastle are intent on finishing the season strongly, making sure Europe in on the Agenda yet again Despite ups 'n' dahns results-wise on the road - they've only failed to score once in their last 7 away from home... 'n' we all know burnley are good for conceding a fucking goal or two 2 wins in their last 17 burnley have recorded - those being at home to 10-Man Brentford & away to useless bastards personified Sheffield United... 1 win in 9 at home - hoo mama A damp squib by their own high expectations/standards this season hath been alas... sure a nice memory or two from their Champions League efforts - but essentially, stagnation it hath ultimately been. But for sure - they have a run-in that suits them v nicely indeed... the trip to Old Trafford in particular, a showpiece in terms o' their ambition 🏆. Essentially, win all remaining games - they're back in Europe. On paper - this one's a gimme. An away win o'er Sheff U doth no' a scary Premiership Team Make. Shite are burnley - they'll ship a few in a standard collapsey way. LEEDS UNITED Win at all costs for Leeds - s'all they can do. 10 Wins out o' 12 on their own patch, says there's a solid chance they fucking will Desires'll be high to carry good form into probable Play-Off involvement... 'n' given southamptons situation, good chance that this is a Dress Rehearsal for the Play-Off Final its-fucking-self 4 attempts soton have had winning away - failed e'ery fucking time. Turned to mush they have, the useless fucks A big fuck-off custard pie right to the chops there last time out: ah no. But despite that - they still could finish 2nd 🙌. No to say the chances are high... sure they'll fuck up southampton - but tis likely Ipswich'll have enough to scrape a point against League 1-heading 'uddersfield (probably ✌️). Professionals they is sure - they'll recognise the importance o' a victory at home... at the very least getting the home fans riled up for the Play-Off Onslaught 🤘. 4th they'll be soton - nowt changes that the day. See them rest stars in prep for a showdown wi' Norwich (probably) 😎 LEICESTER CITY The recouperative powers of relaxation - League Title in the bag, Leicester have turned the dial to max: 9 goals 'n' 3 wins from 3 No fucking way Leicester'll be accepting defeat at home on the last day o' the season - determination'll be high Reverse fixture saw a dominant 1-4 cunting for our lot. Todays foes blackburn, are shite. Cunts were calling for Maresca's Head such was the sudden collapse in their form... seemed they could indeed fuck it all up. But then: it was all alright again 🙌 'n' now, s'all but a distant fucking memory: the parties started 'n' the confidence doth flow 😎. Says it all sure ^ - their collective chins are all the way back up; they're a Premiership team playing cunts beneath them. Believe that, they're setting record-breaking points tally pace. Could've been sure... but ach - they're human. A wee purchase or two to get them good 'n' Premiership ready, that weakness'll be knocked out them probably 👍 "Frustration at the amount won, is better than the heartache at the amount lost." Dad - July 4th, 2020.

Too short

Sony Starchicam

Certainly stinking sure

Dave_min Ditches Daviot

The cunt thinks he's visiting a site filled with big black cocks

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-68927816 @Matt Armstrong's Dog here you go son - doesnae matter what bin pish goes in; the cunts'll eat themselves 🙌

That's everyday you short bastard

Shat it haha Pussy

You found the place to have improved less Hans?

The mystery as to why you clash with checkout cunts deepens

Dad feels good about it son 👍 Defences'll be slack sure... Money in the bank 😎

It's early days o' this new mindset; minds racing - excited about all the possibilities... Slackness'll creep in. Plus Reddit doesnae allow edits to posts anymore, so it's all an adjustment. Well race to the next Double-DWT 'n' all this broohaha'll be forgotten about 😎

Was going to say son - aside from the moral/morale travesty, I misspelt 'Norwich', missed the 'x' on, 'Beeswax' , double 's' & one 'p' in 'disappointingly', 'Indestructible' with an 'a'... Too excited 😃 Next week, Dad'll write the grammatical wrongs 👍