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The Insults Thread


granite sheep

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"You drive like a spastic"

 

I deploy that against other drivers at least 10-12 times a day, mon-fri. I spend about 90 mins in the car each day, meaning I mention spastics every 9 mins or so on average,

Was in the store today... A couple of morbidly obese sorts that you only ever see in America had grabbed themselves a pair of mobility scooters.

 

They were trundling with glacial slowness up and down the aisles... Which in itself wouldn't have been so bad, but they chose to do so side by side, so that no-one behind them could pass and no-one coming the other way could do anything but turn around and go back in the direction they had just come.

 

It was 'shopping basket blocking the aisle' taken to a whole other level.

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:tumbleweed:

I would have thought at least some of US might have moved on from last weeks game you shower (or should thon be flock) of sheepshagginmuttonmuffintrawlertossinnothernlightlikkinspunkswollowin cunts.*

 

 

 

 

 

* the above does in noway, in any shape or form whatsoever, reflect the true feelings, beliefs,outlooks and ideals that jigot holds near and dear, nay, if truth were to be told, lives by them.

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"Smell yer Maw" A term of endearment that requires the accompaniment of ones left arm stretched out, hand upside down with only the middle digit fully extended, to be truly appreciated.

At the same time that you are delivering this cheery greeting, it is highly recommended that behind your back, your right hand is grasping a Buckie bottle at the ready, just incase the recipient of your affable salute, for some strange reason, takes it in a way, different entirely, to what it was intended.*

 

 

 

 

 

*jigot would like to point out that he has never used this phrase and certainly never the action of the arm/hand/digit as he feels that it is reminiscent of the abhorred hail of nazi-ism. What would his Granddad think,who caught one in the stomach from a Spandau, back in '40,eh?

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