Pet Hates

[Don Fonte]

Ol Macca where's da burdz with his harem of horny honies with the cheap shots.

 

Shit like that gets you some high strength turbo lax in your tea before your next encounter with the latest broken woman when karma comes around to dance.

 

Poop mouth.

Struggling to understand that Etchy.

 

And I don't drink tea.

[Studebaker-90]

English football.

What is the point in it?

Seriously. Why does it even exist? Just give them cricket bats and send all the slick foreigners home @moobs and be done with this nonsense once and for all.

I had the West Ham Man City game on at lunch time yesterday. Really dreadful atmosphere despite probably 60 thousand fans. It’s just an over hyped tourist league. It ain’t got no soul man, it’s lost touch with the common fella.

[Don Fonte]

Fuck.

 

I shoulda written Moccachato or whatever it's called.

 

Ach well.

 

Be nice jobby breath.

Macchiato buddy, happy to help.

 

Jobby breath, well that's not very nice. Maybe heed your own advice.

[Don Fonte]

Roger that brother.

 

Have a great Sunday.

 

6 points for the reds and greens. Splendid. ☀️✌

I'd take that as a great Sunday!

[Studebaker-90]

The celebrity chase. Never seen anything more fixed in my life. Fucking joke.

[ddia]

Don't you have a remote control?

 

Hardly worth getting steamed up about. Of course it's fixed, it's for charity. 

[Don Fonte]

Aaaaaalrighty then. ✌

Could have been worse I guess...

 

... not sure how.

[Studebaker-90]

Don't you have a remote control?

 

Hardly worth getting steamed up about. Of course it's fixed, it's for charity.

 

That’s what annoys me the most. Cheating honest folk out of money the rest of the time.

[Henry]

The celebrity chase. Never seen anything more fixed in my life. Fucking joke.

Apart from Scottish football presumably.

[Bluto10]

people complaining (about anything)

 

only losers complain

 

get a life

 

[Don Fonte]

people complaining (about anything)

 

only losers complain

 

get a life

 

What if you get a warm beer in a dirty glass?

[Don Fonte]

Down the pint.

Piss in the glass.

Give it to the oaf.

[Studebaker-90]

Shit on the floor of the pub whilst glassing the barmaid and then gobble up the toldie

[Redforever86]

Set fire to the pub, glass the fireman, down the fire engines water tank via the hose, piss it out into the canal that you’ve just drowned Bluto in.

[For Fecks Sake]

Just witnessed a mink family getting out of their car in Stonehaven Square. Mum, dad and 3 'kids'. Reckon the kids were <17 easily.

 

Doors open, said mink family get out and the mum proceeds to hand round a packet of fags to everyone in the family! 5 of them standing there puffing away.

 

Utter chavs.

[Don Fonte]

Just witnessed a mink family getting out of their car in Stonehaven Square. Mum, dad and 3 'kids'. Reckon the kids were <17 easily.

 

Doors open, said mink family get out and the mum proceeds to hand round a packet of fags to everyone in the family! 5 of them standing there puffing away.

 

Utter chavs.

Probably from south of Stonehaven

[For Fecks Sake]

Probably from south of Stonehaven

East end of Stonehaven behaviour for sure.

 

However they were weegies!

[Don Fonte]

East end of Stonehaven behaviour for sure.

 

However they were weegies!

Figures

[Poodler]

We could get a good six months out of this 'glass the barmaid' joke. Noted

[Poodler]

'Which Aberdeen barmaid would you like to see glassed' thread.

 

 

Or into the tv thread. And have Stephen Glass going round knobbing local barmaids

[Redforever86]

What do you call a transgender ex Aberdeen player working in a pub?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Glass the barmaid.

[Chewie37]

I read the other day that Glastonbury fest was aiming for 50/50 gender split for artists next year. Jesus almighty, it turned into a load of old wank a long time ago but that's stratospheric levels of wank.

Unless they're of the calibre of Rock Bitch obvshttps://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://vimeo.com/58792850&ved=2ahUKEwi-6Nebv_jjAhVIfMAKHX21DW84ChCjtAEwAXoECAEQBQ&usg=AOvVaw2bp7sWWCBRflnCMM3h3DsJ

  

 

Ffs, I’m sure they’ll aim for 100% for a few years to balance out the years it was mainly all male, pc cunts

 

The whole thing has gone to fuck. You need a bird, a black guy and a poof on a panel of four now.

If there is a black poof or bird who has great insight fair enough get them on. But forcing reverse discrimination is utter pish.

Not even sure it’s legal imagine you went for a job and they said you don’t meet the right criteria, we’re looking for an African gaylord.

Just reply, it’s alright massa, I have Michael Jackson’s skin condition and you’re pretty.......might work

[Ke1t]

I don't know if this is a pet hate, since I only encountered it once. 

 

People who jizz on the flushing handle of a toilet. 

 

Went to some Middle Eastern restaurant on Friday, at some point during the night I went to take a pish. There's one urinal and one cubical, so since some lad was standing taking a pish at the urinal I took the ladies choice and walked into the cubical. 

 

Having finished my pish I reach over to push the button, only to discover that some fool cunt of a cunt had had a wank in the bogs and jizzed all over the tank and the handle. Now while that in itself was bad enough, there was no fucking way in Hell I was flushing that toilet, so I walked out of the cubical to wash my hands. Immediately the situation is made worse as some lad darted into the cubical behind me. 

 

He was met with the sight of my pish in the toilet and, to all intents and purposes, my jizz all over the fucking cistern. 

 

Obviously the real culprit is anonymous, but if it was one of you cunts then just clean up your loveblobs after you've finished, eh?

[The Boofon]

I don't know if this is a pet hate, since I only encountered it once.

 

People who jizz on the flushing handle of a toilet.

 

Went to some Middle Eastern restaurant on Friday, at some point during the night I went to take a pish. There's one urinal and one cubical, so since some lad was standing taking a pish at the urinal I took the ladies choice and walked into the cubical.

 

Having finished my pish I reach over to push the button, only to discover that some fool cunt of a cunt had had a wank in the bogs and jizzed all over the tank and the handle. Now while that in itself was bad enough, there was no fucking way in Hell I was flushing that toilet, so I walked out of the cubical to wash my hands. Immediately the situation is made worse as some lad darted into the cubical behind me.

 

He was met with the sight of my pish in the toilet and, to all intents and purposes, my jizz all over the fucking cistern.

 

Obviously the real culprit is anonymous, but if it was one of you cunts then just clean up your loveblobs after you've finished, eh?

When I first worked in Baku many years ago I used to pish in the watering can in the cubicle that the locals used to wipe their arses with.

[The Boofon]

I don't know if this is a pet hate, since I only encountered it once.

 

People who jizz on the flushing handle of a toilet.

 

Went to some Middle Eastern restaurant on Friday, at some point during the night I went to take a pish. There's one urinal and one cubical, so since some lad was standing taking a pish at the urinal I took the ladies choice and walked into the cubical.

 

Having finished my pish I reach over to push the button, only to discover that some fool cunt of a cunt had had a wank in the bogs and jizzed all over the tank and the handle. Now while that in itself was bad enough, there was no fucking way in Hell I was flushing that toilet, so I walked out of the cubical to wash my hands. Immediately the situation is made worse as some lad darted into the cubical behind me.

 

He was met with the sight of my pish in the toilet and, to all intents and purposes, my jizz all over the fucking cistern.

 

Obviously the real culprit is anonymous, but if it was one of you cunts then just clean up your loveblobs after you've finished, eh?

What’s white and slides down toilet walls?

 

Michael Jackson’s latest release.... George Michael.

[Chewie37]

Been as well knocking one out yourself too, you’re going to get the blame anyway, unless you’re willing to clean up some other cunts jizz

[The Boofon]

Been as well knocking one out yourself too, you’re going to get the blame anyway, unless you’re willing to clean up some other cunts jizz

@@BrianFaePerth

[eeps]

I don't know if this is a pet hate, since I only encountered it once.

 

People who jizz on the flushing handle of a toilet.

 

Went to some Middle Eastern restaurant on Friday, at some point during the night I went to take a pish. There's one urinal and one cubical, so since some lad was standing taking a pish at the urinal I took the ladies choice and walked into the cubical.

 

Having finished my pish I reach over to push the button, only to discover that some fool cunt of a cunt had had a wank in the bogs and jizzed all over the tank and the handle. Now while that in itself was bad enough, there was no fucking way in Hell I was flushing that toilet, so I walked out of the cubical to wash my hands. Immediately the situation is made worse as some lad darted into the cubical behind me.

 

He was met with the sight of my pish in the toilet and, to all intents and purposes, my jizz all over the fucking cistern.

 

Obviously the real culprit is anonymous, but if it was one of you cunts then just clean up your loveblobs after you've finished, eh?

Where else was he meant to jizz?

[Redforever86]

Where else was he meant to jizz?

In a glass then glass the barmaid.

 

 

Idiot.

[manboobs109]

people complaining (about anything)

 

only losers complain

 

get a life

 

Says the cunt that fucking moans endlessly about -1's

 

Moaning about -1's

 

Lol