Pet Hates

[StandFree1982]

Id imagine there's always that awkward moment when its revealed its going to be a girl." Oh well, as long as its healthy'

 

The chinese Gender Reveal parties must be a load of fun.

 

"It's a Gi....a BOY"

 

*awkard silences and some muffled cheers*

[Studebaker-90]

I’d shun any such occasion. Or turn up but with a highly dangerous rabid Doberman.

[Poodler]

Life Coaching

 

 

 

More arrogant than a coked up poddle

[Poodler]

'Tastes like chicken'

 

 

Whenever someone is asked what a meat tastes like

[Dom Sullivan]

Life Coaching

 

 

 

More arrogant than a coked up poddle

Fucking can't stand these tossers.

 

Americanised pish.

 

Past employer thought it would be a spiffing idea to enroll old Dom on these Life Coaching courses and make it an annual event.

 

Attended once and refused to go again.

 

Utter twaddle

[Poodler]

Loads of smarmy folk gathered together saying 'my life is great because I've got my finances in order and go to bed at 9pm'

 

Wretched.

 

Stay strong Dom!!

[dazzy_deff]

Loads of smarmy folk gathered together saying 'my life is great because I've got my finances in order and go to bed at 9pm'

 

Wretched.

 

Stay strong Dom!!

What colour is your personality.

 

Red and fiery. Please fuck off.

[tightbreeks]

Room 101, thieving gypsy bastards

[strachanmcgheegoal]

Fucking can't stand these tossers.

 

Americanised pish.

 

Past employer thought it would be a spiffing idea to enroll old Dom on these Life Coaching courses and make it an annual event.

 

Attended once and refused to go again.

 

Utter twaddle

Forced to Attend a How to sell course. The feedback form asked how I rated the presenter. I put, “He’s clearly very good at what he does because he sold you this pile of steaming horseshit.“

 

I was later resigned.

[Redforever86]

Folk who repeat stories.

[Ke1t]

Been on a number of mandatory leadership and team-building courses in the past... what I learned was that some Weegies are good cunts, everyone from Wigan is just a cunt, and mouthing off to Scottish folk in a stressful situation far from civilisation might get you killed.

[tightbreeks]

I'm a definite repeater. Farting and spouting the same old pish.

[Studebaker-90]

Folk who repeat stories.

A good story is a good story forever

[strachanmcgheegoal]

Even I thought my one was shit to be fair.

[For Fecks Sake]

Flying down to London today for some end of year 'meetings' that will be taking place in many a pub and restaurant.

 

The pet hate, well as ever full flight and watching muppets with either oversized hand luggage or multiple pieces of it struggle to fit it all in.

 

At the same time there is a fat as fuck couple (as in near documentary fat) sitting in the middle seats of a row squashing the shit out of the people on either side of them. Surely to fuck a hazard and good luck waiting for them to reach (or fit through) the emergency exits if required.

 

Would be affa pissed off having to endure a flight next to giant haystacks and grotbags. Surely to fuck they should be made to buy 2 seats each or be put in the cargo hold

[The Boofon]

Flying down to London today for some end of year 'meetings' that will be taking place in many a pub and restaurant.

 

The pet hate, well as ever full flight and watching muppets with either oversized hand luggage or multiple pieces of it struggle to fit it all in.

 

At the same time there is a fat as fuck couple (as in near documentary fat) sitting in the middle seats of a row squashing the shit out of the people on either side of them. Surely to fuck a hazard and good luck waiting for them to reach (or fit through) the emergency exits if required.

 

Would be affa pissed off having to endure a flight next to giant haystacks and grotbags. Surely to fuck they should be made to buy 2 seats each or be put in the cargo hold

[Simply Red]

Flying down to London today for some end of year 'meetings' that will be taking place in many a pub and restaurant.

 

The pet hate, well as ever full flight and watching muppets with either oversized hand luggage or multiple pieces of it struggle to fit it all in.

 

At the same time there is a fat as fuck couple (as in near documentary fat) sitting in the middle seats of a row squashing the shit out of the people on either side of them. Surely to fuck a hazard and good luck waiting for them to reach (or fit through) the emergency exits if required.

 

Would be affa pissed off having to endure a flight next to giant haystacks and grotbags. Surely to fuck they should be made to buy 2 seats each or be put in the cargo hold

[Simply Red]

Flying down to London today for some end of year 'meetings' that will be taking place in many a pub and restaurant.

 

The pet hate, well as ever full flight and watching muppets with either oversized hand luggage or multiple pieces of it struggle to fit it all in.

 

At the same time there is a fat as fuck couple (as in near documentary fat) sitting in the middle seats of a row squashing the shit out of the people on either side of them. Surely to fuck a hazard and good luck waiting for them to reach (or fit through) the emergency exits if required.

 

Would be affa pissed off having to endure a flight next to giant haystacks and grotbags. Surely to fuck they should be made to buy 2 seats each or be put in the cargo hold

[BrianFaePerth]

#EconomyClassProblems

[StandFree1982]

Flights should take the persons weight into consideration when checking bag allowances. If someone weighs 10kg more than me, then I shouldn't get a fine for my bag being 1kg over the limit. 

[Foster14]

Flights should take the persons weight into consideration when checking bag allowances. If someone weighs 10kg more than me, then I shouldn't get a fine for my bag being 1kg over the limit. 

 

And if someone weighs 10 kg less than you, you should get a fine for it being 1kg under the limit?! 

[Don Fonte]

Gemma Collins gets her floppy milkers out during some heavy turbulence while Rusty Lee blocks the vacuum system with a 2kg, wide girthed, sweetcorn marbled turd.

A beautiful sight to behold.

[BrianFaePerth]

Canna help but think that pipes still works in darkest Africa with the sole pursuit of finding a rusty lee lookalike to ravage

[Simply Red]

Gemma Collins gets her floppy milkers out during some heavy turbulence while Rusty Lee blocks the vacuum system with a 2kg, wide girthed, sweetcorn marbled turd.

Oxygen masks drop down as soon as Rusty opens the toilet door, post-toldie. The reek consumes the cabin, kids cryings, people retching. Big Rusty chuckling away. Id watch that.

[StandFree1982]

And if someone weighs 10 kg less than you, you should get a fine for it being 1kg under the limit?! 

 

No because i'm not a fat bastard.  A max weight of Person + Bag should be set, for example...90KG. If you and your bag is above that, then you pay extra. 

 

I might suggest this to Ryanair. They're the sort of company that would try and get this type of thing through. 

[BrianFaePerth]

Oxygen masks drop down as soon as Rusty opens the toilet door, post-toldie. The reek consumes the cabin, kids cryings, people retching. Big Rusty chuckling away. Id watch that.

Bluto blacked up in the main role

[Bluto10]

Similar to my ‘Steak Bakes on a Plane’ starring Bluto

I should sue

your fat.

[BrianFaePerth]

I’m thinking a collaboration? Bluts and Candy as the main characters. Corden to get wiped out early doors via a tragic accident.

A snake bite on the cock and bloots valiantly tries to suck the venom out

[StandFree1982]

your fat.

 

His fat what? 

[Simply Red]

Bluto blacked up in the main role

Blutes flying the plane, mangled on #coolbeers