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What's Your Worst "i'm Nae Clever" Moment?


granite sheep

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Microwaved an egg in a klip-top container and klipped the top

 

Reversed into a pillar in ASDA

 

Pulled in the Metro, the tidy bird I thought I got was a hamplanet when I sobered up

 

Tried to unblock a toilet with my bare hands instead of using the poop scissors/ plunger

 

Got caught fingering a bird in the Zuu by the bouncer, turned round, realised it was an old mate of mine and shook his hand with the same hand that was a minute earlier fisting some slapper to oblivion......

 

Your turn, guys.

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Got into an altercation with a cop in Moscow. He was on a horse. Seems they train their horses in crowd control, because this fucking animal was battering me with its nose while I was trying to call the cop a cunt. Cop and horse won that fucking argument.

 

Russians are pricks.

 

So are horses.

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We’ll need more than one thread!!!

 

Drove home pished one night after falling asleep on Queens Cross and spewing on my lap. Walked to my car at the Grammar FP Club to get some shorts or tracksuit trousers on and decided I was sober enough to drive at 5am.....wasn’t. Woke up at my folks house the next day with my car parked at a funny angle.....loads more

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Was hearing a strange noise coming from the car but it only happened when going round a roundabout. Thought it might be a wheel bearing but couldn't quite suss it out. Took it to a garage and the grease monkey jumped in so I could take him for a run to hear it for himself. Sure enough at the roundabout the same rattley noise. Back at the garage he opened the boot, pulled out the spare tyre and picked up the culprit - a little ball bearing running around the wheel well. I felt like a dick. To make matters worse his next words were, "That'll be £35 mate".

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Ach, I remember anither yin. Had some business in the Land That Time Forgot (Blackpool) so had to go down for a couple of days. Drove down, got to hotel, opened boot to get my bag and...............NO BAG! I'd left it in the hallway of the house. 380 mile return trip to retrieve bag.

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Ecstasy is not alcohol last I checked.....

 

You drive better when you are mashed anyway...

 

@police

 

This is absolutely correct.

 

Any time I needed to concentrate during a long drive I'd pull oot the whisky and drain the fucking bottle.

 

Anyone who says you concentrate more without a skinful of booze inside you hasnae fucking tried it.

 

Works twice as well in bad conditions, because you're concentrating even harder.

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