First of all, you've done the right thing by not calling the ambulance and posting on AFC Chat! If I were you i'd wait a few hours and think about calling NHS 24. In the mean time, have a corn in the cob for the pain.
I just read the story again, properly...
He must be loving the response this is getting. How bored must he be to conjure up a story like this? Some imagination! - Almost as good as Stuart McKimmie thinking were going to win the league this season!
Just flicking through the classic threads section and can't believe I missed this insight at the time. Superb!