Funniest Football Songs Or Chants

[Misers Hill]

Ok....lets have a go...i am starting with this one ...targeted against Gabriel Agbonlahor,Aston Villa striker....by i think Spurs fans...sung along to the tune of the Good Old Days...one for the older guys...(a variety show from the 70s) Agbonlahor,Agbonlahor....you dad washes elephants...and your mas a whore.........

[The Cockney Don]

[Poodler]

I appreciate all of the time and effort that went in to creating the, recently seldom aired, classic - Ibrox 71, Ibrox Ibrox 71.

 

Indeed.

[Dal Riata Don]

Directed at Aston Villa:

 

To the tune of that Beautiful South song...

 

You've been to Rotterdam and everywhere

Liverpool and Rome

But now you're playing Rotherham

Rotherham at home

[ericblack4boss]

I've campaigned on here before to get the Glasgow slum songs, second verse used more .

It is he best verse in the song but rarely used.

 

You shite on the carpet,

And pish in the bath,

You finger your gran,

Cos you think it's a laugh,

 

Verse 3.

Your mum's on the game,

And your dad's on the Nick,

You can't get a job,

Cos your so fucking thick.

[Pudgie]

For sheer harshness, the Davie Cooper song is up there. Two Andy Goram's is brilliant!

[The Boofon]

I've campaigned on here before to get the Glasgow slum songs, second verse used more .

It is he best verse in the song but rarely used.

You shite on the carpet,

And pish in the bath,

You finger your gran,

Cos you think it's a laugh,

Verse 3.

Your mum's on the game,

And your dad's on the Nick,

You can't get a job,

Cos your so fucking thick.

Pathetic.

[Pudgie]

Some idiot on our bus tried to get the following started at Celtic. Never caught on surprisingly...

 

 

 

Guess whose kids are freezing to death Mulgrew, Mulgrew

You can even see their breath it's blue, it's blue

Michelle Mone fae Wonderbra

Has found his kids locked up in the car

Charlie Mulgrew canna look after his kids

[The Boofon]

Some idiot on our bus tried to get the following started at Celtic. Never caught on surprisingly...

 

 

 

Guess whose kids are stuck in the car Mulgrew, Mulgrew

You can even see their breath it's blue, it's blue

Michelle Mone fae Wonderbra

Has found his locked up in the car

Charlie Mulgrew canna look after his kids

You've got that terribly wrong and it didn't catch on it completely stuck.

 

An all time classic chant.

[Pudgie]

You've got that terribly wrong and it didn't catch on it completely stuck.

 

An all time classic chant.

Better?

[The Boofon]

Better?

Close enough. Have a +1 for posting a cracking song.

[Tommy]

In Your Monaco Slums by St Johnstone fans was amusing.

[ebbe]

Some idiot on our bus tried to get the following started at Celtic. Never caught on surprisingly...

 

 

 

Guess whose kids are freezing to death Mulgrew, Mulgrew

You can even see their breath it's blue, it's blue

Michelle Mone fae Wonderbra

Has found his kids locked up in the car

Charlie Mulgrew canna look after his kids

It probably didn't catch on cause it contained more than 6 different words.

[360]

Ok....lets have a go...i am starting with this one ...targeted against Gabriel Agbonlahor,Aston Villa striker....by i think Spurs fans...sung along to the tune of the Good Old Days...one for the older guys...(a variety show from the 70s) Agbonlahor,Agbonlahor....you dad washes elephants...and your mas a whore.........

 

Did this post go down as badly on your beloved Celtic forum?

[ericblack4boss]

Pathetic.

Sorry, if you find that offensive then fuck off,

[RAZOR]

It probably didn't catch on cause it contained more than 6 different words.

 

Gar Gar Gar Gar Gar Gar did catch on however.

[ab24_5qh]

I remember a song about Ian Porterfield in the old dons fanzine. Went to the tune of the christmas carol Once in Royal Davids City. Was something like:

 

Once from Sheffield's dismal city

Can a man called Portaloo

He was boring, and defensive

And a drunken driver too.

[ab24_5qh]

I went to an Everton - Stoke game once. The Stoke fans were mental....had a great song about Kenwyne Jones to the tune of My Old Man's a Dust Man...

 

Oh Kenwyne is a stockie,

He comes from Trinidad,

He looks like Whoopie Goldberg,

His hair is fucking mad!

He came to Stoke from Sunderland and this is what he said,

Steve Bruce is a wanker with a big fat fucking head!

Oooohhh

[Misers Hill]

 

Did this post go down as badly on your beloved Celtic forum?

I reckon whilst you being buggered by,a rather large Nigerian who,at the point of delivering the money shot,withdrew,pulled up his kegs and suddenly left your property.......... you bitter man....

[Misers Hill]

heres one for you Guy walks in to a Soho sex shop "hi do you have a black female blow up doll ?"...yeah the owner replies got a new model called Candice,ok,ill take her the dude replies.Gets Candice home,blows her up in the bedroom,he goes to the bog for a piss,hears the front door slamming shut,,he runs to the window..and he sees Candice running down the road with his wallet in her hand....

[Misers Hill]

Q PC Brigade........

[the_shrimp]

The Scott Brown's sister shagging Tommy Burns in hell chant is underused.