Becoming A Dad

[Sheep#1]

Afc chat turning into mumsnet!

 

Having a kid sounds like a load of expense, hassle and responsibility. What are the up sides?

[Karl Fletcher]

You ever had a look on Mumsnet?

 

It truly is in a League of it's own when it comes to woman being batshit mental.

 

They have entire sub-forum entitled 'Am I Being Unreasonable?'

 

It really is a scary insight at times to the inner workings of the opposite sex

[Sheep#1]

I've seen folk post links to some of the utter shite on there aye, as you say, totally nuts. Also they have all their own acronyms for things like 'am I being unreasonable' etc. Suppose better to keep all these hormonal, irrational weemin contained to the one place, where are free to slag their husbands off to their hearts content.

[The Boofon]

You ever had a look on Mumsnet?

 

It truly is in a League of it's own when it comes to woman being batshit mental.

 

They have entire sub-forum entitled 'Am I Being Unreasonable?'

 

It really is a scary insight at times to the inner workings of the opposite sex

It's a magical site for trolling.

[neilser]

You ever had a look on Mumsnet?

 

It truly is in a League of it's own when it comes to woman being batshit mental.

 

They have entire sub-forum entitled 'Am I Being Unreasonable?'

 

It really is a scary insight at times to the inner workings of the opposite sex

In the interests of mankind, legions of guys should join mumsnet under female sounding names and tell them that yes, they're being unreasonable. The fact that they even think there's a tiny possibility that they're being unreasonable in the first place is a wee chink of light that should be ruthlessly exploited for the greater good.

 

I've got three kids - a four year old boy and boy and girl twins of 18 months. I'd echo all the comments about boys needing to run around every day. Twins are great too, but if that's your first experience of parenthood you're in for a bit of a shock at how much work is involved.

[Stoney]

It's a magical site for trolling.

 

Im trolling my wifes pregnancy forum at the moment.

 

The words "you wont believe what xxxx said on the forum" are music to my ears!!!

 

Im currently trying to give up the smokes after a few drinks........ it is NOT going down well

[boboisared]

Im trolling my wifes pregnancy forum at the moment.

 

The words "you wont believe what xxxx said on the forum" are music to my ears!!!

 

Im currently trying to give up the smokes after a few drinks........ it is NOT going down well

Which one is she on?

 

Mine is on baby and bump. Some of them are nuts. Luckily mine seems to be in the more reasonable camp!

[rgudon]

My daughter is also 6 months, it really has been a superb experience so far.

 

The first 3/4 weeks are the hardest, since then I've found it to be relatively smooth sailing. Helps that she has slept 7pm - 7am every night since about the fifth week.

 

Watching your wife go through labour is a bizarre, but wonderful experience. When my wee one eventually appeared I really did just feel instant love towards her, unbelieavable emotion.

 

Get into the Birthing Pool if you can, my mrs said this helped with the labour pains in a big way.

 

Between now and then, just enjoy the peace and quiet while you can.

 

All the best to the upcoming new Dads!

 

Fit in the fuk is a birthing pool...?

[Henry]

No idea, but if it's anything like normal pool I'm shit hot at it.

[Sheep#1]

No idea, but if it's anything like normal pool I'm shit hot at it.

Wonder if Tup could beat you at it.

[Henry]

Doubtful, but a good debate about pool and its' rules is what this thread needs.

[Karl Fletcher]

Fit in the fuk is a birthing pool...?

 

This, basically.

 

My knees got sore after kneeling beside it for hours on end but I didn't say anything.

 

[rgudon]

This, basically.

 

My knees got sore after kneeling beside it for hours on end but I didn't say anything.

 

 

So you actually get in that whilst your bird is giving birth....? Just jump in with your dookers on like? Is it full of water?

 

This sounds weird as, how does the baby nae drown?

[boboisared]

So you actually get in that whilst your bird is giving birth....? Just jump in with your dookers on like? Is it full of water?

 

This sounds weird as, how does the baby nae drown?

Please tell me you're joking and you're not a total spastic?

[rgudon]

Please tell me you're joking and you're not a total spastic?

 

its ok, I googled it and got the answers to my questions.

[Karl Fletcher]

So you actually get in that whilst your bird is giving birth....? Just jump in with your dookers on like? Is it full of water?

 

This sounds weird as, how does the baby nae drown?

 

Aye, funnily enough min, it is filled with water.

 

Wouldna be much of a pool otherwise

 

The man does not get in, no.

 

Although I did have a shottie of the Gas when her and the Midwife went out the room. Fit fine.

 

My bird actually got out of the Pool for the final part of labour but lots of birds do give birth in it.

 

I'll ignore your last question

[boboisared]

its ok, I googled it and got the answers to my questions.

[tup]

A man's role is to get blazing when the woman drops before doing his best to keep out the way and do as much overtime as possible at work.

[Sonoftherock]

 

If the baby is born in distress this can sometimes trigger the onset of breathing prior to cutting of the cord

 

It's unlikely and statistically insignificant, but it is absolutely possible for a baby to drown during water birth.

[rgudon]

If the baby is born in distress this can sometimes trigger the onset of breathing prior to cutting of the cord

 

It's unlikely and statistically insignificant, but it is absolutely possible for a baby to drown during water birth.

 

Exactly what I was getting at min!

[Sonoftherock]

Exactly what I was getting at min!

 

[Dynamo]

So you actually get in that whilst your bird is giving birth....? Just jump in with your dookers on like? Is it full of water?

 

This sounds weird as, how does the baby nae drown?

 

Only babies that can swim are allowed in it.

[Tommy]

Only babies that can swim are allowed in it.

Amazing what they teach at the pre natal classes nowadays.

[rgudon]

Thankfully Im miles off any of this carry on.

[Sheep#1]

This has now defo crossed into mumsnet territory. Tup will be starting a thread asking if he was being unreasonable when he smashed a pool cue over some boys head after a comp and such like.

[redone]

Can't say I enjoyd the experience of being there for the birth that much

 

Mrs R was in labour for hours and I was worried for her ....I suppose I had no real need to be worried , the staff at the hospital cllearly weren't sharing my concern and I mind feeling totally helpless but simply relying on the professionals with them having seen it all before. She ended up having a Caesarian

 

I reckon a lot o' blokes say that it's the most wonderful , emotional experience blah , blah say that because they they think it's expected of them , and the right thing to say

 

For me the main feeling when it was over was one of relief ....relief that my wife and new son were both healthy

 

He's ten now and asked methe other night fit tea-bagging is ?...I had to look it up

[BrianFaePerth]

Dinna ken what the procedure is over there, but here the "woman's clinic" (there is no corresponding place for medical ailments of the male kind), where burds give birth is Saudi Arabia in reverse. There are signs up in the canteen (men pay, women eat free) saying "fathers are expected to take their food and return immediately to their burd, no hanging about you bastard" or words to that effect, for fear of the guy catching sight of a woman with her tit out, or in a state of dishevelment.

 

Mrs Byen's labours were 57 and 71 hours respectively, and while her care was mediocre, she got food and drink on demand. Eh got telt the shop round the corner is open til 9pm, so ye better get round there sharpish if you want to eat between now and when it opens again at 7am. If eh even wanted a cup of coffee, a contribution of nearly £2 was expected. Being the rebel eh am, coffee was had without paying several times. Still proud of that

 

What pissed us off the most was that our eldest was distressed during her birth and they took far too long to take action. She spent several days in intensive care after she was born, and we reckon most of it was due to them not wanting to make decisions until the heid doctor came on at 7am.

 

For our second we got shown in to exactly the same room at more or less the same time of day. The birthing process was exactly the same as with our eldest, so after 5 hours we said you have the records from last time, do something to avoid that. We got telt every birth is different, so just fuck off. But, it went on and on, exactly the same as before, and it was only when the heid doctor came on at 7am that he took one look at Mrs Byen's records and said lets get thon bairn out tout suite.

 

Just getting admitted to the clinic was a trial in itself. The bairn has to be half way out afore they will even consider admitting women here, and this leads to regular stories in the papers about bairns being born on the hard shoulder of the motorway, or in supermarket car parks. The clinic, in a way only a place run by women could be, insists it is right, and that everyone else is wrong.

 

 

 

Still, eh am sure all the births coming in the near future for all you lot will go just fine

[Sheep#1]

How come you always write 'eh' instead of 'I'? You are having to press an extra key each time. 'Eh' don't get it?

[BrianFaePerth]

How come you always write 'eh' instead of 'I'? You are having to press an extra key each time. 'Eh' don't get it?

 

It's how eh roll Bad habit started on Dundee Mad all they years ago.

[Sheep#1]

So you are actually a Dundee fan?