Burned Or Buried?

[Patty]

Raffle my corpse on a necrophiliac's website.

 

All proceeds go towards paying off some of the Dons' debt.

 

At least someone's trying to do something about it, Stewart.

 

What's your plans now that the debt has apparently been wiped?

[phoenix]

Is that the age that they popped their clogs or the average age of all men in the country? Surely the former?

It was a stat in the book 'Emperor Of All Maladies' BEB and I took it to mean the average age for men to die back then in the USA. A lorra water under the brig since then.

[phoenix]

 

Brutal but funny, top posting Sir.

 

I'm sure Phoen knows we all wish him well really.

I do , dt and cheers. I have two sons(and a daughter) and am relentlessly and mercilessly provoked with taunts like 'Are you nae deid yet' ! 80)))

[tightbreeks]

_{a funeral pyre on the top of Arthurs seat.}

 

_or

 

_{hung, drawn and quartered. sunday afternoon, 3pm down the grassmarket.}

[Ke1t]

 

What's your plans now that the debt has apparently been wiped?

 

I still quite like the idea of donating my corpse to necrophiliacs.

 

It was never really about the money, to be honest.

[Bluto10]

I do , dt and cheers. I have two sons(and a daughter) and am relentlessly and mercilessly provoked with taunts like 'Are you nae deid yet' ! 80)))

Yeah, If your spared.

[Henry]

I presume you're going for secret option D Bluto min.

 

Option D being found decomposed several years after death, your passing having gone totally unnoticed by anyone.

[Bluto10]

Aye ok mr worldly wise

[Henry]

 

The traditionally sombre funeral is being challenged by a surge in popularity for so-called destination funerals held in gardens, sports venues and beauty spots, research suggests.

Mourners are likely to dispense with the traditional hearse, choosing buses, motorbikes, horse-drawn carriages and even white vans instead, according to the research carried out among Co-operative Funeralcare’s 2,500 funeral directors, and a separate poll of 2,000 UK adults.

Nearly half (49%) of Co-op funeral directors said they had arranged a service in a location other than a church or a crematorium in the last 12 months. More than a third of adults (37%) said they would consider an alternative location for their own sendoff.

Locations mooted included a lake or river (25%), the countryside (20%), at home or in the garden (17%), at a beach or out at sea (20%).

The Co-op said the shift away from sombre tributes was also being reflected in the clothes being worn by funeral attendees. A quarter of respondents said they would like their funeral guests to wear anything but black, and nearly three-quarters (72%) of funeral directors said they had arranged services in the last year where this was the case.

Nearly half (48%) of funeral directors had arranged services in the last year where the congregation wore clothing significant to the deceased, such as football shirts or fancy dress.

Sam Kershaw, operations director for Co-operative Funeralcare, said: “What we’re seeing is a culture shift in the way that we deal with loss. It’s becoming ever more common to hear people refer to funerals as a celebration of life and that’s certainly a trend we are seeing even more frequently from the families that we support.”

Organisers of the Ideal Death Show, which took place in Winchester, Hampshire, last weekend, said more than 300 people attended. There was a session on human remains by Carla Valentine, an ex-anatomical pathology technician and curator of Barts Pathology Museum, and an opportunity to bake a “funeral cake” in memory of a loved one for a competition.

The actor Richard Wilson, star of One Foot in the Grave and narrator of the end-of-life documentary Two Feet in the Grave, said: “Death is the most certain thing in life but as a nation we struggle so terribly to talk about it and come to terms with our own and others mortality. Life is short and so I understand why people don’t want to dwell on the inevitable, but as the possibilities are endless, it makes sense to at least share some thoughts about what you may want.”

[CripTank]

Shit, it be buried for ya boy.

 

Ole Criptank be 15 years deep in the game, most motherfuckas get got by now, but not ya boy. But should shit get real and I wind up dead, well there ain't no limit to the amount of bitches who gonna be dressing sexy in black, ya feel me?

 

There'd be mad love from homies and foes, you better believe! My crew got instructions for the hearse to be pimped out, fuckin monster offroad spinning rims. It could come in blazing, spinning its tires with white smoke. AK floral tributes, you know nothing less than ya boy deserves.

 

Every motherfucka there will be wearing "RIP Criptank" tees, Holla Holla by Ja Rule will be blazing from the sound system. There'd be a guard of honor, saluting ya boy as a fallen soldier, and of course after Criptank be deep in the ground, a 21 gun salute.

 

Shit it's gonna be tight.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

Nearly half (48%) of funeral directors had arranged services in the last year where the congregation wore clothing significant to the deceased, such as football shirts or fancy dress.

Jings, I see modern funerals are becoming as banal as modern weddings.

 

I was at a (non-religious) wedding a couple of years ago, and we had to sing that "let it snow" song (the one at the thats in the original die hard film).

 

F*ck knows why, it wasnt even snowing, or at time of year when snow was remotely likely.

[Poodler]

Criptank, coming to Pipe's garage party?

[CripTank]

Criptank, coming to Pipe's garage party?

 

Muthafucka are you calling me a faggot?

 

Boy you better fall back and get your sorry ass some glasses. Like ya boy has said before, Criptank hangs with homies, NOT homos.

[daytripping]

Yo Crip my main man.

 

Saw Straight outta Compton the other day, is that a fair representation of how you gang bangers hang?

 

Respec.

[looksgoodinred]

i'm going to be cremated. and then entombed somewhere. i'd like a jazz funeral but without the solemn part; just the second line dancing and twirling parasols and upbeat tunes blaring from instruments as they wander along. followed by a big party for my family and friends with lots of good liquor and good food. just wish i could be around to witness it, i think it'l be fun.

 

alternatively, i'd like to be burned at such a heat and in such a fashion as to become a diamond.

 

options.

[ChutneyLove]

Sir Clive Woodward looks a bit like a large Willo Flood.

[spamspamspam]

Burimated the gran last week, from the sounds of it thats all the rage.

 

We got a plot when my grandda went, stuck him in there whole. Plot is big enough for 3 they said. He said he didnt want to be burned, wanted his eyes so he could see where he was going, the gran however didnt give a flying. So we dropped her in, they'll take it her out, cremate her and then stick her in the hole next to him. Best of both worlds and now the plot will do about 10.

[ChutneyLove]

Sorry to hear about your Gran min.

Do they go to the bother of filling in the hole, or do they just wait until the mourners have left the place and get her back out? Never heard about that before. Well apart fae Jimmy Savile, but circumstances were obviously the driver there.

[ChutneyLove]

Criptank, coming to Pipe's garage party?

Where were YOU at said event?

 

 

 

 

(apologies if you were in fact there, I was a wee bit boozy)

[elephantstone78]

Hope the garage party went well CL and was a truly messy affair.

Re OP I want to be cryogenically frozen but the missus said I am being cremated. How selfish of her. I fancied regaling humans of the future with stories of the 20th and 21st century.

If I get a will and put my wishes in there would that make a difference? Any hat lawyers able to shed some light?

[ChutneyLove]

Aye, spoke to the boys fae the milk and yer gettin' burnt.

[Poodler]

Where were YOU at said event?

 

 

 

 

(apologies if you were in fact there, I was a wee bit boozy)

I was dishing oot prostate examinations beside the spare motorbike parts

 

Edit, yours was fine

[spamspamspam]

Sorry to hear about your Gran min.

Do they go to the bother of filling in the hole, or do they just wait until the mourners have left the place and get her back out? Never heard about that before. Well apart fae Jimmy Savile, but circumstances were obviously the driver there.

 

Ach it was well past her time, blessing more than anything else.

 

They just wait until everyone leaves then took her to the crem.

Its the Hazelhead cemetery, just a quick jont up to the furnace then back down again.

My only worry is how it'll work when they open it back up for the next one to go in. I'm sure they'll do some sort of marking in the dirt so they dont disturb anything but still.

[looksgoodinred]

 

http://www.ozy.com/flashback/roller-coaster-of-death/37275

 

Death is terrifying, so why not make it exhilarating instead? That’s the purpose of the “Euthanasia Coaster,” a giant big-dipper design aimed at taking its passengers through a series of extreme drops and loops that would create euphoria and then kill them by starving the brain of oxygen.

[Poodler]

Well?

[Dom Sullivan]

Well?

I've always liked the heat, me.

 

Fuck that being stuck in the stone cold ground.

 

A fry up for me.

 

Picked ma tunes already.

[Lencarl]

I've always liked the heat, me.

 

Fuck that being stuck in the stone cold ground.

 

A fry up for me.

 

Picked ma tunes already.

If you opt for the stone cold ground choice in around 100 years time the boffins will extract your DNA from your bones and create a clone of yourself.

 

[Dom Sullivan]

If you opt for the stone cold ground choice in around 100 years time the boffins will extract your DNA from your bones and create a clone of yourself.

 

 

One of me in an eternity is more than enough...

[HairyPie]

I would prefer deep burial in an anoxic environment. Then a future race has a great chance of HairyPie Mk2. Preferably 3,000 metres below Section Y.

On that subject, my Granda is buried overlooking Pittodrie. When The Dons move to a different stadium, any chance they'll get a graveyard nearby for Granda to flit to?

[Poodler]

I would prefer deep burial in an anoxic environment. Then a future race has a great chance of HairyPie Mk2. Preferably 3,000 metres below Section Y.

On that subject, my Granda is buried overlooking Pittodrie. When The Dons move to a different stadium, any chance they'll get a graveyard nearby for Granda to flit to?

Just make it happen one night. Into the lawn of a WANKS member