Jamie McQuilken: Signed for the princely sum of 60,000 quid, Jamie McQuilken was part of Stewart Milne's 'Let's Sign Fucking Shite Because It's Cheaper Than Signing Real Players. The Fans Will Never Notice Because They're Stupid Fuckers. Surely. Surely.' strategy to turn Aberdeen into a regular bottom 6 side with no hope of ever again challenging for a trophy or a title so long as he was Chairman.
McQuilken had failed, and demonstrably so, THREE times in the top flight of Scottish Football with Celtic, United and Hibs...the latter of whom deemed him not good enough for them as they headed into Division One for a season.
Steve Paterson, with sixty fucking grand burning a hole in his fucking jakey pocket.... deep breaths, Kelt... deep fucking breaths and count to ten... decided in a fit of drunken fucking madness that the best thing to do with that sixty fucking grand would be to pish the whole lot away on giving Jamie McQuilken opportunity number FOUR to fail to make an impression in the SPL.
This was an opportunity McQuilken would grab with both right feet. Too bad he was left footed.
After a handful of games in which he displayed all the ability he had shown with Celtic, United and a First Division-bound Hibs, he was transfer-listed along with other mighty footballing greats such as Michael Bird, Scott Michie and.... Darren Mackie.
Ending his career at Queen of the South, via St Johnstone and Gretna, McQuilken is now a copper.