Strangest place you have been too.

[Zeus]

Westhill

[Bluto10]

*to

I decided to go to a place here in São Paulo called Cracolândia which translates as Crackland. Just to see.

I was set upon almost immediately by Merle Dixon after he's changed and ran scampering towards an armed police woman who gave me the kind of look that said "you dumb gringo cunt. I hope that zombie does eat you". I was more terrified of her than it, as I saw a world that most people never will or should see.

Don't ever go to Cracolândia. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cracolândiahttps://youtu.be/dfsOl6BA9zI

 

Thanks GB

never knew the correct usage of too, 2, to or two

[YorkDon]

We got an escort from the looney who owned the hostel to the nearest bar which bizarrely happened to be an Irish Bar which was run by some IRA boy on the run. Had a nice chat to him about Terry Adams or some cunt and got fucking wacked on Guinness and played loads of U2/Pogues on the juker to ensure our safety. Ders more ti Oirland dan dis.

Was walking round Vasco Da Gama in Goa about 3 years ago and encountered an Oirish bar,complete with beer taps at your table and Michael Jackson blaring out the juker-bizarre!

The weirdest thing about Goa was the groups of Indian men walking about holding hands.Apparently they’re nae gay,bit have been mates from baby age!

Also encountered a toilet that makes the one fae Trainspotting look like a palace-it has a window beside you that opened on to the urinals so you could watch boys hae a piss whilst you were having a shite

[Durrant Dived]

Ventspils. Think the penny dropped when the only pub in the town shut at 10pm and all Dons fans headed to a Mexican restaurant(the only place that was open).

Ran out of burgers, chips and booze. They were not expecting us.

[Simply Red]

Shetland backwaters are a bit mental.

 

Higher than the national average mental health issues and disabilities.

 

I'm not saying they touch their cousins. But the evidence certainly points that way

Lot of actual inbreeding going on up there. Tough one tho, if you didn't bang yir 2nd cousin you wouldnt have anyone to shag.

Must be the same on all these islands. All related, all shagging each other.

[BrianFaePerth]

Lot of actual inbreeding going on up there. Tough one tho, if you didn't bang yir 2nd cousin you wouldnt have anyone to shag.

Must be the same on all these islands. All related, all shagging each other.

@@Henry it’s ok. We understand you’ve no choice.

[Redforever86]

A wee town on the way to Banff national park in the middle of nowhere Canada.

 

Some cunts tried to break into our hotel room via the 1st floor balcony while we were out for dinner.

 

Hotel staff seemed unconcerned (reckon they were in on it). We had fuck all worth stealing anyway.

[BWG]

Ventspils. Think the penny dropped when the only pub in the town shut at 10pm and all Dons fans headed to a Mexican restaurant(the only place that was open).

 

Ran out of burgers, chips and booze. They were not expecting us.

 

Similar thing happened in Rijeka when we took over the restaurants outside the teams hotel and turned them into pubs.

[roosterbooster]

UK - Hull and Bradford with Aberdeen, complete sh*tholes and just very weird compared to here - Probably be Aberdeen in 10/20 years time

 

Paisley - had few nights out there and just wow going back in time some areas

 

A pub / restaurant / Pool hall place in Sharjah UAE on my first time in Middle East,, wasn't sure what to expect - about 20 Muslims full Thawabs, knocking back beers, smoking away, playing pool for for cash,, was a but surreal

[Betty Swallicks]

Tonga or Shetland.

 

They are the complete opposite of each other but both strange.

 

Tonga had an remarkable amount of fat folk.

[Redforever86]

Honourable UK mentions go to:

 

Fort Augustus.

Hull.

Orkney.

 

Worst toilet goes to the back of some boys shop in Sri Lanka. Piss into the urinal and a tiny pipe straight out the wall no running water etc at all. Done the job.

[eddiec]

Saltcoats / Stevenston ... scary ... full of rabid Huns

 

Rhyl ... not seen a lick of paint since the 1960's (see also Saltcoats)

 

Minsk ... like something out of that Chernobyl programme on the telly recently, the city that the USSR left behind

[Guest milne_afc]

Elgin.

[Poodler]

Few mentions for Hull

 

Their old school pool halls/ workingmans clubs are right up my street - total shitholes.

[BrianFaePerth]

Tannadump

 

Full of mutants

[King Street Loon]

In no particular order.

Hull

Theddlethorpe

Barrow in Furness

[HairyPie]

Elgin.

 

full of fuckin' huns

[Ke1t]

Got stranded in New York in the middle of Summer, practically every hotel I called was fully booked... we're stuck at the airport. Nothing close by is available, so we're calling hotels progressively further from the airport. The higher the street number the shittier the area, btw. 

 

Eventually we find a vacancy at a hotel in Harlem. The street number is pretty high. 

 

So the white-faces cab it to Harlem. 

 

The hotel itself was a serious shithole, the kind you see in Film Noir movies where the opening scene is a hotel room with a dead hooker covered in blood as the voice-over says something like, "It was the kind of hotel that came with cold and cold running dead hookers." The wife's flipping out, but beggars can't be choosers, and we head on in. 

 

It's no better on the inside than on the outside. It may have been nice at one time decades earlier, but it's now run down and almost certainly the kind of place that offers hourly rates and toy rental. 

 

We pay what's definitely an inflated rate for our room, are given one key, and we haul our case to the upper floor where our room is. 

 

The key doesn't work, so I have to leave the wife standing in the corridor, alone, in the Hotel Certain Rape. 

 

The guy at the desk tells me to use the other key. I tell him he gave me one key. He gets all suspicious and uptight, accusing me of some plan to steal a key or somesuch shit. Why I'd need a spare key to a shit hotel in Harlem I don't know. 

 

Eventually I get the guy to come up and open the door. The wife is pressed against the door trying to look inconspicuous when we get back.  

 

He opens the door. The room is grim, the mattress has no springs and sags in the middle. It's July/August in NY, we're way at the top of the hotel, it's hot, and there's no AC. It's hotter than fuck, but I'm not showering in this hotel... no fucking way... I'm not even taking my shoes off in case we need to bail out the fire escape at some point. 

 

He leaves, we jam a chair against the door like they do in the films. We've no fucking idea if that actually works, but it offers at least some psychological comfort. I remain awake for the entire night anyway.  The wife sleeps in the bed, she was probably gathering a decent collection of fleas and ticks, and there's likely more dried jizz on the sheets than cotton. 

 

Screams and the occasional gunshot can be heard through the night. At one point what sounds like automatic gunfire can be heard.  I sit and stare at my watch then the door. The door then my watch.  Noises can be heard in the corridor outside... fuck knows if it was fellow hotel-residents coming and going or if some mad cunt was going room to room raping and murdering the guests and their hookers. My mind convinced me it was the latter... of course some mad rapist was murdering everyone. 

 

We booked out of there as soon as the wife woke up and got her shit together. I don't even think we had breakfast there, but since breakfast was probably bottom shelf vodka and Quaaludes, that would be somewhat moreish for first thing of a morning anyways. 

 

New York... brilliant place.

[Clydeside_Sheep]

East Berlin, 1990 - went with my Dad and Grandad, to see it before it started to change after the wall came down.  Remember it was like going back in time, in terms of peoples appearance, the cars, buildings etc.  I remember former East German security personnel standing about aimlessly around the Brandenburg Tor, trying to see their old uniforms as collectors items.  The whole area was pretty run down, but is now a very glamorous area.  Remember seeing vast expanses of the wall (mostly gone now).

Edit - my Grandad could remember roughly where the Fuhrerbunker had been, and was able to take us very close to it.  The soviets tried repeatedly to blow it up but failed as it was so tough, so they just filled it with concrete.  Its all houses today, im not even sure if the location is marked

 

Albania, early 90s (?) - don't remember the exact date but prob around 1990 too.  We were on Corfu and my Dad and I took a boat trip to visit Albania.  What a place that was, my dad said it was like 1950s glasgow slum buildings dumped in the middle of nowhere - not even roads or pavements to connect them.  There were masses of orphans, who would follow visitor groups about mob-handed.  Amazingly, rather than money they wanted bubble bum and bic pens.  Large groups of them would even swim out into the sea to greet boats arriving - the captain would go wild, in-case the propellers got any of them.  Lots of interesting Roman ruins etc to see, but the whole society was like bizarro-world.  Similar to East Germany, lots of security guys (army/police) in cheapo uniforms / ill fitting boots etc, milling about.

 

The above two visits did a lot to teach me about socialism and its rotten fruit, incase Neil Kinnock, Arthur Scargill and the Miners strike of the 80s had left any doubt as to what a toxic system it is.

 

Israel, early 90s - an overnight boat trip from Cyprus on a ship called Vasco De Gamma (who was a greek explorer).  Always remember how strange it seemed, due to the heat and loads of visible troops etc, plus encountering a quantity of burnt out armoured vehicles littering the countryside.  I liked the visit to see all the important Christian sites, plus the Wailing Wall etc. Also my grandad had been in the British-Mandate Palestine Police, so that was another connection.

[Parklife]

Cyprus on a ship called Vasco De Gamma (who was a greek explorer)..

I hope that's a gamma/Greek joke? As he's Portuguese.

 

P.S. Love Deacon Blue

[Torry Tosser]

Ingleton in Yorkshire. Stayed there over night before doing the Yorkshire 3 peaks walk for mencap.

 

What a creepy place, had a Royston Vasey feel to it. When we arrived there was a a guy wearing a face mask holding a sofa cushion outside the village hall jumping about the place. He then followed us to our hotel by darting through folks front gardens running like some kind of ninja ducking and diving around.

L

O

L

[Redforever86]

Few mentions for Hull

 

Their old school pool halls/ workingmans clubs are right up my street - total shitholes.

 

Never said I never enjoyed it. 

 

I'd love to go to Minsk probably one of the last places in Europe not "Westernised" as such.

 

To add to this thread, globalisation is fucking shite. My bird was in Tokyo asked her to get me some different beers. Specialist beer shop, 90% European and American beers, best two Japanese ones you can buy online fae a shop in fucking Edinburgh. 

 

Everywhere is starting to look the same, with the same food and same hipster cunts drinking the same coffee visiting the same shops. 

[The_Next_Legend]

@@Jeffrey de Visscher 's house

[Torry Tosser]

Lord Byron.

[shut up meg]

Saltcoats / Stevenston ... scary ... full of rabid Huns

 

Rhyl ... not seen a lick of paint since the 1960's (see also Saltcoats)

 

Minsk ... like something out of that Chernobyl programme on the telly recently, the city that the USSR left behind

 

I thought Minsk was brilliant when I was there, I was blootered so I can't recall what the locals were like though.

[Poodler]

Lord Byron.

Was @@ebbe in?

[Poodler]

East Neuk function room

[Torry Tosser]

Was @@ebbe in?

Bout 4 year ago went to meet a pal,I wis there first and all the drinkers were just staring at me.

"This is a local pub for local people".

[Torry Tosser]

Kintore."Village of the Damned"

[chief_wiggum]

Cairo was pretty weird and Porec around 1988