Aberdeen City Centre

[styrofoamplates]

3 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

It used to sell all sorts of dodgy stuff. Cunts standing as look outs for the police to give the 'vendors' a warning.  The police though used to get around this genius plan by going in plain clothed. Lol ? What are they like? 

There was a stall that sold second hand wank mags.

Once I got broadband I threw out all my old wank mags. A good collection of 'Escort', 'Mayfair', '40 Plus' and 'Babyface' plus a couple of issues of 'Leg Action'. 

My mate called me and I told him that I'd just had a clear out. He asked me to collect the smut from the wheelie bin and deliver it to him the next time I saw him. 

So the next time I went round to his flat, I delivered two black bags full of porn mags. He was delighted. So delighted that once I left he spread them all over his bed to gaze upon and then went for a shower. Then his girlfriend came back to the flat when he was in the shower and before he had cleared the smut away. She wasn't happy at the delights she saw on display. They split up not long afterwards. 

I told that story in my Best Man's speech at his wedding. I still feel guilty. The bird that split up with him due to his porn collection was way hotter than the bint who he married...and is currently divorcing. 

[styrofoamplates]

1 minute ago, Sooper-hanz said:

You should have left that line out of the speech, Styro. 

Looking back now, I think you may be right Hanz. 

[Henry]

3 minutes ago, styrofoamplates said:

'Babyface'

Nonce.

[Henry]

Great story for a best man speech though.

[styrofoamplates]

1 minute ago, Henry said:

Nonce.

They were all over 18! Just looked young!

[DD1903]

1 hour ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Mind watching a wee guy about (14 years old ) proudly marching out the barras with his latest purchase ,in a see through poly bag as if to disguise it, but there was no mistaking the fact he'd just bought a fucking huge crossbow.     

A crossbow, pirated software/DVDs, 3 lighters (a quid) and sport socks. Maybe some knock off meat from the 'butcher'. Or a bundle of towels. 
 

why shop anywhere else?!

[Simply Red]

1 hour ago, styrofoamplates said:

Once I got broadband I threw out all my old wank mags. A good collection of 'Escort', 'Mayfair', '40 Plus' and 'Babyface' plus a couple of issues of 'Leg Action'. 

My mate called me and I told him that I'd just had a clear out. He asked me to collect the smut from the wheelie bin and deliver it to him the next time I saw him. 

So the next time I went round to his flat, I delivered two black bags full of porn mags. He was delighted. So delighted that once I left he spread them all over his bed to gaze upon and then went for a shower. Then his girlfriend came back to the flat when he was in the shower and before he had cleared the smut away. She wasn't happy at the delights she saw on display. They split up not long afterwards. 

I told that story in my Best Man's speech at his wedding. I still feel guilty. The bird that split up with him due to his porn collection was way hotter than the bint who he married...and is currently divorcing. 

Me and my pals found a bail of porn on the beach when we where teenagers (mags/few vhs) Strange place to dump it. The tide had come in once over it but the inside of the bail was still fine. The wet, sandy vhs’s didnt do much for my pals folks’ video recorder. One of the best days of our 13yr old lives. 

[daytripping]

This is the Aberdeen city centre topic, can all weegies fuck off with the glesga banter chat, start your own thread on your local teams board.

Thanks.

[styrofoamplates]

10 minutes ago, Simply Red said:

Me and my pals found a bail of porn on the beach when we where teenagers (mags/few vhs) Strange place to dump it. The tide had come in once over it but the inside of the bail was still fine. The wet, sandy vhs’s didnt do much for my pals folks’ video recorder. One of the best days of our 13yr old lives. 

I used to book golf times when I was a lad, with three other mates. Basically involved us getting up at 3am, heading up to Hazlehead Golf Club, putting our names on a list and then fucking off until 6am when we would the book tee times for our customers. Used to get ten quid a pop. 

During the three hours we had free, we would raid the Hazlehead Caravan park and campsite. Occasionally we would find cases of booze and decent stuff to steal. Otherwise we would get annoyed if there was nothing to steal and would take padlocks with us and padlock the tents from the outside. 

The highlight was always after booking the golf times when we would go to the newsagents in Hazlehead and then onto Mastrick and take our pick from the delivery. Some weeks it would just be newspapers, but some weeks it would be magazines and porn mags. They were the best days. 

One week they had a delivery of the Euro 96 Pannini albums and stickers and we got a album and two full boxes of stickers each. 

[styrofoamplates]

5 minutes ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Sickening 

Sick Don's Fans

[DD1903]

45 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

 

Mind Victor Morris?  We used to buy throwing stars and nunchuks from there like we were weegie Ninjas or something. ?

Oh aye! Im sure one of my mates used to regularly get air pistols from there. Which were then confiscated - either by his folks, or the polis. He would always be caught trying to shoot pigeons

[Misers Hill]

Broons tackle shop,Belmont street. 

.long gone was next to Radars..

Killers dream..shotguns galore etc..

Used to get my lures there ..

And the odd Webley pistol?

[maryhilldon]

5 hours ago, minijc said:

Surely you're a nonce?

Quite a random attack that mini,  where did that come from? 

[minijc]

4 minutes ago, maryhilldon said:

Quite a random attack that mini,  where did that come from? 

Asking a question isn't an attack MHN

[maryhilldon]

4 minutes ago, minijc said:

Asking a question isn't an attack MHN

So if I asked  'why are you such a dickhead mini?',  you wouldn't consider that an attack? 

[DD1903]

1 hour ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Air rifles, air pistols, swords, machetes, hunting catapults ( diablos, black widows etc) could all be purchased here. They used to sell musical instruments as well right next to the weaponry . 

Cheap stab proof vests as well. Right beside the acoustic guitars 

[styrofoamplates]

1 hour ago, Misers Hill said:

Broons tackle shop,Belmont street. 

.long gone was next to Radars..

Killers dream..shotguns galore etc..

Used to get my lures there ..

And the odd Webley pistol?

Bought my first flick knife there, when I was 13

[manboobs109]

Anybody ever stabbed anyone? With a knife I mean not a cock(up the bum) 

[maryhilldon]

22 minutes ago, styrofoamplates said:

Bought my first flick knife there, when I was 13

Aye ok Mack. 

[Fridge]

19 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

I used to think that if you had an acoustic guitar then it meant that you were a protest singer.  lol   I can smile about it now but at the time it was terrible. 

 

And now you are worse?

I defy anyone to deny how good a guitar I have. Spent money on heaps and this thing (no make) I bought for a pint in my local bar. You don’t even need to tune the fucking thing.

 

 

[DD1903]

1 hour ago, Sooper-hanz said:

I used to think that if you had an acoustic guitar then it meant that you were a protest singer.  lol   I can smile about it now but at the time it was terrible. 

 

? what were you protesting ?

[DD1903]

8 hours ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Ach ,you know how it is DD, when you're tied to your mother's apron strings no one talks about castration and all that. blah blah

But looking back I'm not sorry for all the things I said. 

A noble cause

[Poodler]

Witnessed a woman I estimate to be circa 60, well spoken, carried herself well, in the middle of hustle in Sainsbury's Berryden this morning.

im at the self service, she appears to speak to the self service lady with her trolley, handbag in trolley. 
 

'oh is this the right place I come? I bought this bottle of vodka the other day and it still has the tag on it, I've got the receipt somewhere in here'

woman takes the tag off, without checking the receipt. I made eye contact with the biggest grin on my face. She acknowledged with a wry smile. Takes a lot of front to do, but she plays to her strengths of looking innocent etc. 
 

a nod of approval. 

[Simply Red]

12 minutes ago, Poodler said:

Witnessed a woman I estimate to be circa 60, well spoken, carried herself well, in the middle of hustle in Sainsbury's Berryden this morning.

im at the self service, she appears to speak to the self service lady with her trolley, handbag in trolley. 
 

'oh is this the right place I come? I bought this bottle of vodka the other day and it still has the tag on it, I've got the receipt somewhere in here'

woman takes the tag off, without checking the receipt. I made eye contact with the biggest grin on my face. She acknowledged with a wry smile. Takes a lot of front to do, but she plays to her strengths of looking innocent etc. 
 

a nod of approval. 

My mums got a brass neck nae handy

[Studebaker-90]

23 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

I'd have asked the thieving old cunt for a receipt. 

That’s because you’re a prick 

[Fridge]

The self service thing must be a goldmine if you are a thief. How easy would it be to fire a crate of Tennent’s under your trolley and “forget” to scan it.

Suppose they just right it off as it’s cheaper than employing more checkout staff.

[NEM]

Was there nae a famous chef caught and humiliated for nicking cheese using the self service check outs?  

[Simply Red]

Just now, NEM said:

Was there nae a famous chef caught and humiliated for nicking cheese using the self service check outs?  

Worrell Thomson (ginger goblin) was it?

Got away with it cos he said he was addicted to cheese and agreed to seek help for it. 

[The Cockney Don]

Gino D'Acampo the burglar, robbed Paul Youngs house, got two years bird.

[NEM]

20 minutes ago, Simply Red said:

Worrell Thomson (ginger goblin) was it?

Got away with it cos he said he was addicted to cheese and agreed to seek help for it. 

Ha ha imagine having the brass neck to stand up in court and claim that ?