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How To Successfully Grow A Beard


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I’m suffering from Alopecia Barbae at the moment according to docs!

Random bald patches have appeared in my stubble/beard.

Apparently brought on by stress caused by splitting up with the ex at new year and a death in the family at the same time.

The body is a wonderful but sometimes weird thing.

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A beard can be a magical thing. 

 

Used incorrectly it can make you look like a child predator, though. 

 

Don't just let it become a tangled mass of unruly hair, twigs, and insects. Get a beard grooming kit that includes comb, scissors, and balm. Give it some definition. 

 

When I'm in the wilderness I like to grow it out into a mighty beard. Bears and otters won't fuck with you if they see a terrific beard situated front and centre. They'll give you all the room and respect your beard demands. It also serves to insulate your face from a biting winter north wind when you're cutting lumber or four wheeling through a frozen forest, shotgun bungeed to the front rail and a bottle of vodka in your free hand. 

 

When I'm in the city I trim that fucker into a lovely, sculpted work of art. You don't want to scare the squares and town folks with the kind of growth that intimidates the woodland creatures.

 

Always be cognisant of the message your beard sends and to whom it's sent. 

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I could grow a fine beard, but fear its really too much hassle, so I don't.

 

I think you see more bad beards than good beards around. Some beards look dated instead of simply masculine. A guy in my work has a beard which makes him look straight out of the boer war.

 

Also, beards can deprive a man of his freedom, thus:

 

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/sep/28/world-beard-moustache-competition-drug-dealer

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1. I think he means you got fucked by half of Hollywood and you have a big mouth.

 

2. No offence.

 

3. Oocha fucker it's time to show this again.. Skip forward to 2mins.

 

 

1. Nowt wrong with that. Timidity pisses me off. I fucking love opening my yap. Fight me. 

 

2. None taken. 

 

3. Yeah... I've never been able to figure out quite what was going on there. I think drugs... maybe some mental issues... poor decision making definitely played a role. But, hey, what is art really?

 

Probably not that. 

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