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#1 OFFLINE   Ke1t

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:00 PM

Share your wisdom for living life. 

 

Here's some. 

 

Always wash your arse after shitting. Even if it's just polishing the hole and surrounding area with a Wet Wipe™. Any shit still sticking to your arsehole after shitting is going to smell like shit just as much as if that shite was smeared on your hair or your teeth. And people are going to smell it on you. 

 

Wash your fucking arses. 

 

 


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#2 OFFLINE   cheesepipes

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:08 PM

are you meaning properly wash yer arsehole after a shit?

 

Ive never employed such a technique and i only get complemented on my odour, which is acheived by a daily face rub with baby lotion and a squirt of classic scent. Fahrenheit or Drakar Noir . 


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#3 OFFLINE   eeps

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:11 PM

Maybe Kelt should consider his diet and think about waxing his hole?
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#4 OFFLINE   Ke1t

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:14 PM

are you meaning properly wash yer arsehole after a shit?

 

Ive never employed such a technique and i only get complemented on my odour, which is acheived by a daily face rub with baby lotion and a squirt of classic scent. Fahrenheit or Drakar Noir . 

 

You work in Africa a lot, though, don't you? 


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#5 OFFLINE   cheesepipes

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:19 PM

Typing right now from the infested shit tip.

 

i get it worldwide, from Bucksburn to Congo and all thats inbetween. "Oooh you smell nice".

 

I'll need to start saying after each compliment......"if you think thats nice, wait til ive washed my arsehole"


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#6 OFFLINE   Ke1t

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:20 PM

Maybe Kelt should consider his diet and think about waxing his hole?

 

Preaching to the choir, there. 

 

My diet is a fantastic balance of protein, fats, and fibre with no room for carbs or sugar. My shites slip out like a greased eel, leaving little to no residue... except maybe on  Mondays... and yet I still maintain a high degree of anal hygiene. Something sadly lacking in the population as a whole. 


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#7 OFFLINE   Ke1t

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:24 PM

Typing right now from the infested shit tip.

 

i get it worldwide, from Bucksburn to Congo and all thats inbetween. "Oooh you smell nice".

 

I'll need to start saying after each compliment......"if you think thats nice, wait til ive washed my arsehole"

 

I've only ever been to Morocco, and it smelled like someone was cooking rotting vegetables. Had no desire to venture further into the interior. 

 

I doubt there's much washing of any kind goes on there, never mind arsehole cleansing. 


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#8 OFFLINE   eeps

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:29 PM

Preaching to the choir, there.

My diet is a fantastic balance of protein, fats, and fibre with no room for carbs or sugar. My shites slip out like a greased eel, leaving little to no residue... except maybe on Mondays... and yet I still maintain a high degree of anal hygiene. Something sadly lacking in the population as a whole.


I think your advice is good. Might ask for a birthday bidet this year.
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#9 OFFLINE   cheesepipes

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:29 PM

i too went to Morocco and i even took my kids.

 

To date id say it was the more irresponsible thing ive done as a parent and i include still being up with cocaine dripping out my nostrils at 8am in the morning and them getting up wanting breakfast.

 

Absolute shithole of a country full of horrible cunts.

 

They might be a lot blacker down south, the classic African if you will but id rather take my chances with them than the tan, shifty terrorist fuckers of the north.


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#10 ONLINE   For Fecks Sake

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:31 PM

Easy - treat others the way you would want to be treated yoursel.

That said I have 2 exceptions, 1)Weegies and 2)folk from Dundee.
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#11 OFFLINE   Redforever86

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:43 PM

Never trust a weegie.
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#12 OFFLINE   Bluto10

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:51 PM

are you meaning properly wash yer arsehole after a shit?
 
Ive never employed such a technique and i only get complemented on my odour, which is acheived by a daily face rub with baby lotion and a squirt of classic scent. Fahrenheit or Drakar Noir .


your my kinda guy Cheese
:cool:
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You don't give a man like Bluto a drink in those piddly little glasses. Give him the bloody bottle.

.


#13 OFFLINE   Bluto10

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:55 PM

i too went to Morocco and i even took my kids.
 
To date id say it was the more irresponsible thing ive done as a parent and i include still being up with cocaine dripping out my nostrils at 8am in the morning and them getting up wanting breakfast.
 
Absolute shithole of a country full of horrible cunts.
 
They might be a lot blacker down south, the classic African if you will but id rather take my chances with them than the tan, shifty terrorist fuckers of the north.



lol



I had two week touring the country by automobile

cunts would deface road signs for white men kings like myself

they didn’t count on me doing me research beforehand tho

stupid thick as pigshit dune coons
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You don't give a man like Bluto a drink in those piddly little glasses. Give him the bloody bottle.

.


#14 OFFLINE   Poodler

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:59 PM

i too went to Morocco and i even took my kids.

To date id say it was the more irresponsible thing ive done as a parent and i include still being up with cocaine dripping out my nostrils at 8am in the morning and them getting up wanting breakfast.

Absolute shithole of a country full of horrible cunts.

They might be a lot blacker down south, the classic African if you will but id rather take my chances with them than the tan, shifty terrorist fuckers of the north.


Haha




If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain
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#15 OFFLINE   milne_afc

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 06:59 PM

Preaching to the choir, there.

My diet is a fantastic balance of protein, fats, and fibre with no room for carbs or sugar. My shites slip out like a greased eel, leaving little to no residue... except maybe on Mondays... and yet I still maintain a high degree of anal hygiene. Something sadly lacking in the population as a whole.


Let me know when you can land a shite. Upright.

[love Stevie Wonder]
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<p>

#16 OFFLINE   looksgoodinred

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 07:25 PM

Wash daily. Be polite. Put your best effort into whatever you’re doing or it’s probably not worth doing. Be kind.
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#17 ONLINE   1903Fitba

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 07:36 PM

So far we have -

Wash
Be nice
Don’t go to Morocco

Decent
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#18 OFFLINE   Arabian Knight

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 07:36 PM

tup shid git they words tattooed oan ex chest in thon gothic font


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#19 OFFLINE   Fridge

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 07:57 PM

Have passionate hatred for the Huns

Get on with your job and do as little as possible but make sure you do something relatively high profile every year so you get a good appraisal.

If you want a promotion make it known and ask what you need to do to get it so you can achieve it. If you’re happy where you are just crack on skiving like fuck.

And definetly hate the Huns.
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#20 ONLINE   BWG

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 08:10 PM

Slightly stale bread can be revived by microwaving it on the defrost setting.

You're welcome.
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#21 OFFLINE   Fridge

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 08:15 PM

What about the mould?
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#22 OFFLINE   Poodler

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 08:25 PM

Penicillin
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#23 OFFLINE   Grays Babylon 1875

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 09:27 PM

Be a good cunt.

Even on the days when you don't wanna be a good cunt.

Be a good cunt.
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Better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. 


#24 OFFLINE   Grays Babylon 1875

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 09:28 PM

Share your wisdom for living life.

Here's some.

Always wash your arse after shitting. Even if it's just polishing the hole and surrounding area with a Wet Wipe™. Any shit still sticking to your arsehole after shitting is going to smell like shit just as much as if that shite was smeared on your hair or your teeth. And people are going to smell it on you.

Wash your fucking arses.


Clearly just fucked a dude in the ass likes.

Do tell .......
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Better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. 


#25 OFFLINE   Ke1t

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 09:56 PM

Clearly just fucked a dude in the ass likes.

Do tell .......

 

c'mon now... what is this, 1959?

 

Fucking each other up the arse isn't taboo any more, in fact it's practically mandatory in 2019. 

 

While I haven't personally ridden a lad up the arse I'd hope that if I did he'd have the good manners to wash it beforehand. 

 

Fucking savages that don't keep it spotless. 


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"The internet has made it clear just how many dumb cunts there are."

#26 OFFLINE   cheesepipes

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 10:11 PM

Set the scene.

 

You are out for a meal with the family. You've had your shit and you've washed your asshole. You're good to go.

 

You get to your destination and your body tells you there is a small bit of unfinished business......you need a shit. The facilities on offer are first class.

 

How would you proceed??

 

There is not a hold it in option.....the shit needs to come out.


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#27 OFFLINE   Poodler

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 10:12 PM

My pal has a fantastic implement for douching.
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#28 OFFLINE   Ke1t

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 10:19 PM

Set the scene.

 

You are out for a meal with the family. You've had your shit and you've washed your asshole. You're good to go.

 

You get to your destination and your body tells you there is a small bit of unfinished business......you need a shit. The facilities on offer are first class.

 

How would you proceed??

 

There is not a hold it in option.....the shit needs to come out.

 

I would hope we all have the foresight to keep a packet of Wet Wipes in the car for exactly this kind of scenario. 

 

Pop the packet in the pocket of your cargoes before entering the restaurant and you can eat all the ropey seafood you want. 


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#29 OFFLINE   cheesepipes

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 10:19 PM

Unless you are displaying your bare anus to passers by with splayed cheeks i really dont think there is any issues with odour. 

 

Im all for clean back passages but it has to be practical and inkeeping with the hustle and bustle of life. Cant be casting off the tweeds for a soapy scrub after every defecation thats some OCD type nonsense.


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#30 OFFLINE   chief_wiggum

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Posted 07 April 2019 - 10:22 PM

An unclean ringer is an itchy ringer and there's nithin worse than a yokie hole, I have seen a few women posing splaying their goods on some of my....ahem.... artistic sites i view that have debris around their starfish, very unprofessional!


Edited by chief_wiggum, 07 April 2019 - 10:25 PM.

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