Festive Dons Chants

[tup]

Jingle bells

 

It's always

It's always

Itsalwaysaboutyoumari-o

 

Oh aye.

 

Stolen from Man City eh RTYD?

[Tommy]

Oh you better not shout,

You better not cry,

You better not pout,

I'm tellin' you why;

 

Muttonhumper's home and I think he's drunk.

 

He's walkin' real slow,

He slurs when he speaks,

I don't even think

He

[Dynamo]

[tup]

Fairytale of Pittodrie

 

They got cars big enough to hold Steve Paterson in the boot

They've got Dan Rivers talking pish in his book

But the wind goes right through you

It

[Tommy]

Ho Ho Ho

 

 

You Rudolf The Deep Throat Reindeer shaggin bastard.

[RTYD]

Oh aye.

 

Stolen from Man City eh RTYD?

 

A bit of a woosh eh tupster

[RTYD]

Oh aye.

 

Stolen from Man City eh RTYD?

 

Woosh

[tup]

We all agree

The I-Pod we got from Santa was magic

[tup]

I'd rather shag a reindeer than Mrs Mols.

[Guest milne_afc]

Randolph the black faced keeper

Had a very shiny face

But he couldn't stop the Dandies

Puting Motherwell in their place.

[The Boofon]

You know Boofon and Bluto

And Tommo and Cheespipes

Phonenix and Kelt

And Rumpus and Mobby

 

But can you recall

The most famous Madder of all?

 

Tuppy the baldy bastard

Had a very shiny dome

And if you ever saw it

You could even say it glows

 

All of the other Madders

All still laugh and call him names

They wouldn't let poor Tuppy

Post and join in their games

 

Then one foggy Christmas Eve

StandFreeEd came to say

Tuppy with your dome so bald

Won't you come in from the cauld

 

Then how the Madders loved him

And they shouted out with glee

Tuppy the baldy bastard

Get to fuck, you're history

 

 

 

What tune does that go to?

[muttondressedaslamb]

Dashing through the snow in my rusty Ford Capri

Down the road I go, sliding all the way.

I need new piston rings. I need some new snow tyres.

My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire!

 

 

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.

I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.

The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.

Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Ford Capri.

 

 

Just for Tup.

 

Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',

From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',

I'm happy -- although

My boss let me go --

Happily addicted to the Web.

 

All night long, I sit clicking,

Unaware time is ticking,

There's beard on my cheek,

Same clothes for a week,

Happily addicted to the Web!

 

Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man!

Don't you know tonight's the pool night?"

 

With a listless shrug, I mutter "No, man;

I just discovered laugh-a-lot-dot-com!"

 

I don't phone, don't send faxes,

Don't go out, don't pay taxes,

Who cares if someday, they drag me away?

I'm happily addicted to the Web

 

I'm happily addicted to the Web!

Happ-ily, ad-dict-ed to the Web!!!

 

 

Oh you better not shout,

You better not cry,

You better not pout,

I'm tellin' you why;

 

Muttonhumper's home and I think he's drunk.

 

He's walkin' real slow,

He slurs when he speaks,

I don't even think

He's shaved in two weeks,

 

Muttonhumper's home and boy is he drunk.

 

He spent most of our money

On Johnny Walker Black

And then he took all of the rest

And lost it at the track.

 

Sooo.... You better not pout,

You better not cry,

I don't like that look in his eye,

Muttonhumper's home and I think he's...

Muttonhumper's home and boy is he...

 

Muttonhumper's home and he's really drunk!

 

 

You know Boofon and Bluto

And Tommo and Cheespipes

Phonenix and Kelt

And Rumpus and Mobby

 

But can you recall

The most famous Madder of all?

 

Tuppy the baldy bastard

Had a very shiny dome

And if you ever saw it

You could even say it glows

 

All of the other Madders

All still laugh and call him names

They wouldn't let poor Tuppy

Post and join in their games

 

Then one foggy Christmas Eve

StandFreeEd came to say

Tuppy with your dome so bald

Won't you come in from the cauld

 

Then how the Madders loved him

And they shouted out with glee

Tuppy the baldy bastard

Get to fuck, you're history

 

Lyrical geniuses.

 

I doth my cyber cap to you all for getting the online personas spot on.

[muttondressedaslamb]

When Cheesepipes got stuck up the chimney,

He began to shout...

You girls and boys won't get any toys

If you don't suck me off.

 

My pubes are black and cover my sack

I'm hard and ready to go

When Cheespipes got stuck up the chimney

Paedo-paedo-paedo

[Tommy]

When Cheesepipes got stuck up the chimney,

He began to shout...

You girls and boys won't get any toys

If you don't suck me off.

 

My pubes are black and cover my sack

I'm hard and ready to go

When Cheespipes got stuck up the chimney

Paedo-paedo-paedo

 

How appropriate.

He'll be well chuffed.

 

 

 

 

Fuck the rangers then, fuck the rangers now, fuck the rangers forever.

[K-9]

When Durrants knee got fucked at Pittodrie

He began to shout

You boy and girls

wont get any kebabs

Cause for a year now i'll be out

They carried me off

Like a kid with Gough

And one year now becomes two

When Durrants knee got fucked at Pittodrie

Boo Hoo Boo Hoo Boo Hoo

[MURRA]

You better watch out

You better not cry

You'll get knocked out

I'm telling you why

Isaac Osbourne's coming to town

 

He's making a hit list

He'll hack and slide;

He's gonna find out Who's a little shite

Isaac Osbourne's coming to town

 

 

He sees you when you're cheating

He knows when you're fake

He knows if you're a tim or hun

So be good for goodness sake!

O!

You better watch out!

You better not cry

You'll get knocked out

I'm telling you why

Isaac Osbourne's coming to town

Isaac Osbourne is cominnng to tooown!!!!

 

 

 

Fair tricket with my wee song. hopefully get it sung at a few games . :flag:

[fine-n-dandy]

Song for the Killie game maybe.

To the "wish it could be Christmas everyday" tune

 

 

Oh Kenny Shiels speaks bullshit everyday

Just give him a microphone & you never know what he'll say

 

Oh Kenny Shiels speaks bullshit everyday

 

Last line/pun can be open to suggestions cos I'm drawing a blank

[ollie1903]

Dashing through the snow in my rusty Ford Capri

Down the road I go, sliding all the way.

I need new piston rings. I need some new snow tyres.

My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire!

 

 

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away.

I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay.

The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay.

Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Ford Capri.

 

We have a late entry for the AFC-CHAT post of the year.

[tup]

doesnt even remotely fit together: poor

 

That was deliberate.

 

Irony - lost on weegies since the year dot.

[Henry]

apart from the fact, AGAIN, the words dont fit

 

its completely inaccurate too and can personally guarantee my cars in better nick than 85% of folks on here

 

I can personally guarantee you don't know anything about anyone on here's cars so you're talking shite. Again.

[Stoney]

Some cracking efforts here like

[Tommy]

apart from the fact, AGAIN, the words dont fit

 

its completely inaccurate too and can personally guarantee my cars in better nick than 85% of folks on here

 

 

Frankie min, where's the suggestion it has anything to do with you ?

 

Have you got a Capri ?

[tup]

was it?

 

was it really?

 

clown

 

Yes it was.

 

REALLY.

 

You'll note I did another one that never even came close to rhyming.

 

Expecting all poems to rhyme is Primary 3 tactics.

 

Some of us operate on a higher plane altogether.

[Dynamo]

apart from the fact, AGAIN, the words dont fit

 

its completely inaccurate too and can personally guarantee my cars in better nick than 85% of folks on here

 

 

Touchy are we?

 

[ollie1903]

Touchy are we?

 

>Insert 'roid rage smiley here<

[tup]

Get the banhammer out ollie, there's no reasoning with this weegie mouthpiece

[Dynamo]

if i were you id haud yer wheesht, old man

 

 

 

rhyming?

 

you think rhyming was my gripe?

 

theres too many words never mind too many syllables...in short (ironic), you're a complete and utter imbecile

 

 

 

 

not really, just find it hilarious the attitude of some folk on here, considering the lifes they lead

 

 

cringe

 

You're the boy that can't take a joke when it's directed at you and pretty much live your life on here through all your advice threads, nae got any real mates you can ask?

 

"I make loads more money than you", "post a pic", "I'm better than you". Tragic.

[ollie1903]

if i were you id haud yer wheesht, old man

 

 

 

rhyming?

 

you think rhyming was my gripe?

 

theres too many words never mind too many syllables...in short (ironic), you're a complete and utter imbecile

 

 

 

 

not really, just find it hilarious the attitude of some folk on here, considering the lifes they lead

 

 

 

"i meant to hit the post..waaa""

 

cringe

 

 

Jesus, Frunkie min. Calm doon.

[Henry]

Get the banhammer out ollie, there's no reasoning with this weegie mouthpiece

 

Aye three week ban for MT, see if he can turn over a new leaf in the new year.

[tup]

Breath in deeply through your mouth, then exhale through your nose.

 

Repeat until heart rate stabilises.

 

The roids will eventually level out MT min.

 

Dinna take them again, we've seen this all too often recently.

 

You'll be dead by 50 otherwise.