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Valentine’s Day


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#1 OFFLINE   Fridge

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 02:55 PM

Incase anyone is forgetting and getting hoofed in the balls tomorrow.

Tempted to get a card for the new office girl but the fear of the sex register is preventing me.
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#2 ONLINE   Studebaker-90

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 02:58 PM

I dinna even entertain it as an event, bloody waste of time. She knows where she’s stands on it.
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#3 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 03:01 PM

V day, birthdays, Xmas - all ignored by me

Load of pish
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TPFKATGLA 


#4 ONLINE   Studebaker-90

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 03:11 PM

You should send the card anonymously with a sexy message
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#5 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 03:14 PM

V day, birthdays, Xmas - all ignored by me

Load of pish

 

Birthdays?  Come on now Mobz. Really?      Im going out just now to get a bloody Valentines card. Not worth the fucking hassle not to get one.


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#6 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 03:16 PM

You should send the card anonymously with a sexy message

 

Roses are Red,

Violets are Blue,

Poodle's wee arse,

Im going to screw.


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#7 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 03:19 PM

Birthdays? Come on now Mobz. Really? Im going out just now to get a bloody Valentines card. Not worth the fucking hassle not to get one.


Yip

Brought back some perfume and mushrooms from Amsterdam last Sunday and told her that was her birthday (in a couple of months)
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#8 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 03:20 PM

Here's one I came up with for my place of work

 

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

20% off all leather sofas,

May not be used in conjunction with any other offer (Terms and conditions apply. Offer ends March 31st 2020. Please see instore or on the website for full details)


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#9 ONLINE   Studebaker-90

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 03:22 PM

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Poodle's wee arse,
Im going to screw.


At least I’m the giver I suppose
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#10 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 03:22 PM

Roses are red, 

Violets are blue,

Do you like scat, love ?

Cause here comes a poo. 


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#11 ONLINE   Studebaker-90

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 03:26 PM

Good as the kwiki mart owner in the simpsons
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#12 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 03:49 PM

Great at fitting tyres


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#13 OFFLINE   The Buzzard

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:10 PM

Birthdays? Come on now Mobz. Really? Im going out just now to get a bloody Valentines card. Not worth the fucking hassle not to get one.


Just been having that very discussion about the worthiness of the day. It's a pointless waste of time. Think of all the fucking trees that die for this shit too.

Edited by The Buzzard, 13 February 2020 - 04:11 PM.

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#14 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:06 PM

Good as the kwiki mart owner in the simpsons


My favourite antipodean fruit
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#15 OFFLINE   Captain Caveman

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:19 PM

If you need card companies to tell you when to be romantic you’re a dickhead
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#16 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:23 PM

What does Mrs Cavey get for Valentine's day , Cavo?


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#17 OFFLINE   StandFree1982

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:24 PM

Incase anyone is forgetting and getting hoofed in the balls tomorrow.

Tempted to get a card for the new office girl but the fear of the sex register is preventing me.

 

Doesn't help that you work in a nursery and she's 4. 


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#18 OFFLINE   Henry

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:20 PM



What does Mrs Cavey get for Valentine's day , Cavo?

 

3p3j5f.jpgvia Imgflip Meme Generator


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#19 OFFLINE   Dad

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:30 PM

I'll be gifting my wife with the act of terrific lovemaking :cool:

Edited by Dad, 13 February 2020 - 04:46 PM.

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#20 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:37 PM

If you need card companies to tell you when to be romantic you’re a dickhead


Being romantic

L

O

L
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#21 OFFLINE   chief_wiggum

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:41 PM

I'll be gifting my wife with the act terrific lovemaking :cool:

When do you want me to pop over?


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#22 OFFLINE   Fridge

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:35 PM

Doesn't help that you work in a nursery and she's 4.


Fuck sake. I’m nae Dad.

Actually think a four year old kid would be more competent than some of the fuckwits I have to work with though.

Almost every meeting ends with me just saying I’ll do it myself as It takes longer to decipher whatever shite they are away to produce than it does just to do it.
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#23 OFFLINE   Dad

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:42 PM

When do you want me to pop over?


No need son - plenty Dad to go round :cool:
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I have died alas

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#24 OFFLINE   Dad

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:43 PM

Fuck sake. I’m nae Dad.
Actually think a four year old kid would be more competent than some of the fuckwits I have to work with though.
Almost every meeting ends with me just saying I’ll do it myself as It takes longer to decipher whatever shite they are away to produce than it does just to do it.


For the love of fuck fridge son - don't give work colleagues valentines cards/gifts - a right recipe for disaster that is.

What about your wife - will she no do?
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I have died alas

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#25 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:51 PM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’ve got Alzheimer’s
A fish supper and a smoked sausage chaser, please
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TPFKATGLA 


#26 OFFLINE   Fridge

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:56 PM

For the love of fuck fridge son - don't give work colleagues valentines cards/gifts - a right recipe for disaster that is.

What about your wife - will she no do?



I was going to do it under the guise of ? Winky smiley face.

However advice taken onboard.
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#27 OFFLINE   manboobs109

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 05:07 PM

I love the old valentines day. Wee card to the Missus not signed, pretend to go daft asking who sent it, bunch of flowers, box of black magic, steak dinner, hopefully get yer plums sucked. Great stuff.
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#28 ONLINE   Studebaker-90

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 05:29 PM

Fun loving scamp at heart
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#29 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 05:38 PM

box of black magic


That come with a voodoo doll?
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#30 OFFLINE   Dad

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 05:38 PM

I was going to do it under the guise of ? Winky smiley face.
 

 

Jesus fuck - thats even worse than signing your name

 

You better calm down son


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